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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Maybe its ME - February 5th 2016, 05:50 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm so troubled that I feel I might push my husband away the way I act. I wish I didn't have the problems I have but god I'm trying my best. My thoughts of Suicide keeps coming back, I hit walls I haven't broke my hand yet but I'm so done with myself idk what to do anymore. I don't want to do something stupid where I lose everything but I feel as I know I might and I will do something I will regret but is it worth it to do something or no.....I want those thoughts to end......STOP HAUNTING ME!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Maybe its ME - February 5th 2016, 09:05 PM

Hey there Leslie! I just replied to another thread of yours.

Firstly, have you talked to your husband about this? I've been through several times where I pushed my husband away. Each time beforehand, I'd tell him I was feeling like that so he knew what to expect. He'd let me vent on him and then he'd tell me to cool off and that he's going nowhere.

It always helped that he told me that. Of course, that can be very hard on a relationship. We considered counseling together, but in the end, we worked it out on our own. My husband said the main reason it didn't bother him as much was because I'd let him know how I was feeling and he'd be able to process it as me feeling unstable and not actually wanting him out of my life.

Instead of hitting walls, try to hit pillows. I know it's not as satisfying, but you won't be at risk of injuring yourself and it does actually wear you out.

Do you have a doctor? I suggest seeing them if you do. If you don't, I definitely suggest getting one. I went through one who wasn't very good. Found the one I have now, and am so very glad I found them. My doctor has worked with me through a lot over the last year and hasn't given up once. We've finally think we found a good combination of medications. And I'm feeling a lot more stable.

As I said in my other reply, if you ever want to talk one-on-one with me, feel free. Or of course you could submit a helplink ticket or try the chat-room.
   
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Re: Maybe its ME - February 6th 2016, 02:07 PM

Leslie

For you, I think that these thoughts will have no power over you provided that you remember that you're worthy,you're nothing like what "the voice " tells you you are, and better than any negative self-perceptions of you that you might have about yourself. What I want you to do now is to slowly calm down, read some happy, positive books about positiveness .... and maybe do some charity work. Because I think that these sort of activities will end up creating a good base for your self-confidence, and I can reassure you that there's going to be plenty of happy stuff for you to look forward to, because living is worth it.

So many smiles to live for, so much happiness and so many experiences waiting for you in the future... together with your husband, and I want you to experience it all because I do not want to see you suffer anymore.

Also, I promise you that I'll always be around for you if you want someone to rant to because you deserve an outlet to talk to, and it helps so much . Most of all, remember that you're a sweet wife .. and any husband would be lucky to marry someone like you.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Re: Maybe its ME - February 8th 2016, 06:27 AM

I used to go see a Therapist but she chased me to the Mental Hospital....ever since then I don't see them anymore because I fear that I talk to someone about my problems and feelings they might turn me in. As for my Husband and I he gets really stressed when there is a lot going on around here. I have told him I have those thoughts and he grabs me and tells me everything will be ok and he isn't going anywhere even though I have so many problems. It will be a year we been together July 25,2016 so we are still getting used to being married. I know everything will be ok, but I fear my future has a lot on me coming that I probably can see as of how I act sometimes. I take meds and I had to recently up my anxiety pill because I was getting so easily fusterated. I just started working @ Mcds and I work nights so I barely get any sleep. What I mean by that I can sleep 8-10hrs but I'm a light sleeper I hear everything around me while my husband snores. The most cause of all of that is We still live in my Parents place and trying to get out soon. Also I have a 15year brother that has his sleep pattering off and constanly walks in & out of his room all night and makes a lot of noise. I cant wear ears buds or anything to help me sleep because if I cant hear anything around me I start to panic. My panic modes aren't very happily when I have one. I'm trying my best to get through what I'm dealing with but its tough.


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
  Send a message via Skype™ to Lovehatelife23 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
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Re: Maybe its ME - February 8th 2016, 06:08 PM

Have you considered sleep medication from your doctor? You can still hear everything going on around you and depending on the med you can still wake up if needed, but otherwise it makes you tired and generally relaxes you.

Also, have you tried sleep earbuds? They're considered safe for sleep, comfortable, and you can play some music or whatever you want. You can always have it very low so you can still hear if someone enters your room, but loud enough you don't hear someone in the hall. This is what I did to help myself sleep. Now I can sleep with earbuds in and not be bothered by not hearing anything.

Also, it sounds like your husband is going to stick by you no matter what. So I wouldn't worry about pushing him away. Just remember to thank him for sticking by you when you're in a good state of mind.
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Maybe its ME - February 8th 2016, 08:08 PM

I think that when it comes down to sleep, it's better to grab a few good , calming books for you to read right before you sleep.. nursery rhymes and Winnie The Pooh would work well because of the happy nature. They'll help you by creating peaceful, fun fantasies in your mind as you envisage the feeling of being surrounded by joy and happiness. Also, these sort of books will also remind you of the joy of life, which you definitely should be reminded of as you've been spending quite some time thinking about how things might go wrong, rather than what could go right.

Every day's a mystery.. you never know if it's going to be a blessing... or a curse. But if you take every experience the right way and let yourself relax through it all, the better it'll be for you because you'll also have less panic attacks .. which will lead to you doing better and better!

I want to help you more!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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