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Chaotic_Storm Offline
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Stuck. - April 25th 2016, 02:25 PM

I really can't tell if my depression is coming back or if I'm just in a place in life where circumstantial I am not happy. At work, I want to break down and cry because I don't want to be there. It doesn't make me happy. I want to cry on my way to work because I know once I get there I am stuck for the next 8 hours. I just want to quit and find a new job. But I have a family to provide for so that isn't an option.

It's just everything has been bothering me more lately. Like my dad is up visiting and he was lecturing me about my dental situation (I have to get a root canal) and basically saying "It's to much money, just get it pulled." and literally after that one conversation my day was ruined.

It's little things that are bothering me lately. I just don't understand. In a sense, I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel. I want to move out of where we are now. I want a new job. I want to go back to school for my masters. I want my partner to find a better job so that we can support our dreams. None of that happening. I'm stuck renting out my parents old house. I'm stuck in a job I hate because the pay is good. I'm stuck not going to school because if I start working part time, my partner can't support us (I'm the main provider).

It just all sucks.
I don't have the worthlessness of depression. I know I have worth. I just feel like I'm stuck. And it's very easy for me to have a bad day versus a good day atm. Sometimes I wish I could self-harm again...But it's been two years, so I don't think that would really solve anything. Except to make things worse.
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Stuck. - April 26th 2016, 05:11 PM


Self-harming won't solve anything and it's just going to be worse if you do. I know that things might not really seem that good for now, but they'll get better. Perhaps you could find another job that provides some good pay, as well as a working experience that you'll find enjoyable. I think that if you do some humanitarian work like charity , or perhaps helping out people at the old folks home or some sort, it'll remind you that you're in control of what you want to do, and you can always make a difference no matter what you do.... sure it might be a bit tiring, but its the positive experience that counts.

I also know that there's many other ways for you to solve your situation, like talking to someone you know and putting in a good word for your partner so that he'll be able to get a good job that 'll be able to support the both of you, enabling you to focus on your masters and finishing it... and opening up many, many more doors for you. I know that the fight is hard, but after this battle.. you'll be stronger, and you'll be able to overcome even more challenges that'll enable you to feel more proud of yourself.. to the point where you can hold up your head with pride.

For now, just keep swimming.. and fighting. Things always get better after a while, and if you proactively take actions in order to better the situation and perhaps find a job that's more suitable for you as well as explore all available options, you'll definitely be able to find a solution to this daily grind that'll enable you to do what you want, as well as support both you and your partner and let you slowly but surely pave the road to a future that'll be full of happiness.

It's not about the challenges we face, but how well and brilliantly we overcome them. If you also take it easy and concentrate on one thing at a time, you'll find that you've the mental leeway to concentrate on what you wanna do as well as not get over-angry at everything, leading to better tomorrows, and better tomorrows after that tomorrows and so on.

You just need to find some inspiration, and fortunately all you need for that inspiration is your own mind. If you open it up and not look at how bad things at been but how you could improve it, you'll know that this is just the beginning of something better.

I hope I helped..... I wanna help you more and I'll be around if you need a friend or someone to rant to .

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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