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jamdoughnut Offline
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i dont want to live - April 29th 2016, 03:57 AM

I cant do this. This isnt fair. i had finally come so far from cutting and depression and now, out of the blue, im hit with sever depression again and left with crippling anxiety. Its gotten to the point where i cant feel anything good anymore, its nothing but pain, both physical and emotional. And i havent been able to feel my hands for an entire week because of this anxiety. Sometimes its my entire arm, and all the while i cant breath, i cant think, and i can barely even stand. I want to fight but i dont have the strength. My days have been me doing nothing, just me melting my brain with mindless tv and videogames to try to distract myself. Nothings working though- no matter who i talk to, what i do, what distractions and coping methods i try to do, none of them work. And because i cant do anything i cant get any schoolwork done so im gonna fail and theres nothing that i can do about it. I dont have any real friends either, and i cant help but constantly feel alone and trapped and without any hope for a future that i dont want. I really just want someone who i can trust completely, the one person who wouldnt let me down, just a shoulder to lean on, but i have yet to find someone. I cant even trust the one person who deserves my trust, and now im sure ive hurt him because of it.
I cant do this, im not strong enough.
god, please, somebody help me. Please i need just one more reason to live.

I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
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Re: i dont want to live - April 29th 2016, 04:38 PM

You aren't worthless, and you shouldn't blame yourself because you've went through a lot.

I'm very sure that the very person you think you've hurt really, really just wants you to be happy and there's no reason to guilt trip yourself. Like I've said to you before, things will work out if you stop putting so much weight on your shoulders and so many chains to your heart that are created out of your feelings of guilt. If others can forgive you, then you should forgive yourself. Only if you give yourself some solace, you can start to feel like yourself again.

I think that it'll be good if you went out there, and get yourself involved in activities where you'll meet some nice people who will listen to you and will talk to you. I know that your main problem is your lack of trust: Because you don't trust many people, you can't talk about most people about your problems and it's not going to work out if you stay that way : Learn to believe in people, because the right people won't betray you.. and you'll definitely be surrounded by plenty of people who want to love you, care about you and ensure that your worries won't bug you any more. One reason to live is the people that you'll meet: The ones who care will definitely brighten up your day to the point what once felt like night is now going to be a bright , happy day.. all the time.

Another reason for you to live is the experiences you'll go through: You'll mature, and you'll gain the ability to be helpful You'll definitely be able to make a lot of people smile: You're so compassionate, and you think about every action you make and how it affects other people: That's going to make you a very good friend in the future and it'll get you into many positive experiences with people who want to experience these beautiful moments with you.

Keep yourself calm, and don't overthink things.. you've already thought about things enough, and it's only made things worse: Try your best to change things, but do it with a positive , calm mindset... that's where you can really be effective in whatever you do, and it'll also help you recover from your tiring mental battles : Some fights are won by making peace with your mind, and making it your ally.

I hope that things will work out for you.. and if you need someone to rant to or just a bosom friend, I'll be around.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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AMA on teenhelp Offline
im just a dead man walking
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Re: i dont want to live - April 29th 2016, 09:30 PM

Im feel soory for you if i was there with you i would help you out focus on fun things

Ps if you wanna talk pm me im here ��

it takes a strong man to deny whats right in front of him and if the truth is undeniable you create your own
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