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Dancer29 Offline
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Age: 16
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Location: Maryland

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Join Date: May 17th 2016

Alone and Ready to let go - May 17th 2016, 02:56 AM

I'm online, because there is no one on this planet that I actually care about. My parents are physically and emotionally abusive. I punch my sister all the time, when I feel like dying in a corner. I have no friends because I'm not allowed to call/text/use social media, and I can't hang out with anyone outside of school. I founded my school newspaper, and my co editor hates me because she knows that I no longer care. I am on the school debate team, and I used to be looked up to. Then I skipped the national tournament. I dance, but I'm too fat to be any good. I recently quit acting, because my parents didn't want to drive me to rehersals. I play violin, but the thought of practicing makes me want to hang myself. I auditioned to sing in the school talent show, and got in. My parents didn't want me to do it. I used to draw, mostly surrealistic, then my parents yelled at me. I used to write a lot, but I haven't written anything good in forever.

At school I hang out with the druggies. I think I'm a lesbian, and have dated girls, but I'm not sure. Classmates hate me for emotionally hurting one of my exes. I'm a straight A student. I have trouble paying attention. I self harm by cutting and bruising.

After all of this, I really have nothing to live for. I have no talent, effort, or creativity. My family is holding me down, but they are the only people on Earth that have ever actually loved me.

If I were to tell my family that I probably have depression, they'd probably just hit me harder. I just want to kill myself, but tonight I won't. I'll go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow, feeling even more empty inside.

I've talked to the school counselor already, and she doesn't care about me. She thinks I'm exaggerating and being ungrateful, and that my life can be fixed with a bit of positivity.

Do you have any advice for me? How can I fix my life?

Last edited by Dancer29; May 17th 2016 at 10:18 PM. Reason: This was falsely posted with the prefix Triggering: Grieving
   
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IH8U2 Offline
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Re: Alone and Ready to let go - May 18th 2016, 03:47 AM

I'm very sorry you feel no one cares. How many school counselors does your school have? Perhaps you can print out this thread and show it to her or another professional. It sounds very serious.
   
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