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BreathingIn Offline
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I hate everything - July 2nd 2016, 07:42 PM

I'm a mistake, I know it.

I don't have any talent and I don't have any passion for anything. I like a lot of stuff, but it's all trivial crap that doesn't mean anything (like music or video games). I physically don't FEEL like doing ANYTHING. It's frustrating because my brain is telling me "Do this, do that" but I physically can't get up to do anything.

I hate feeling this way. I feel like there's no way out. I'm stuck inside my head
   
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Re: I hate everything - July 2nd 2016, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BreathingIn View Post
I'm a mistake, I know it.

I don't have any talent and I don't have any passion for anything. I like a lot of stuff, but it's all trivial crap that doesn't mean anything (like music or video games). I physically don't FEEL like doing ANYTHING. It's frustrating because my brain is telling me "Do this, do that" but I physically can't get up to do anything.

I hate feeling this way. I feel like there's no way out. I'm stuck inside my head
Hey there,

You are NOT a mistake. No one here is a mistake and you're not different from that. You were born and you matter. I know how easy it can get to think like this. Especially when you're alone and you have no one telling you otherwise. I'm here to tell you otherwise because I dont want you to keep going on thinking this way. You don't deserve to be in this much suffering over something that isn't even true

Now based on what you're saying here, I can definitely relate to that. Growing up, I had no opportunity to take music, art, dance, even physical education. My school really sucked big time and all they taught was a dumbed down version of religion and a really dumbed down version of math and English language, a little American history and a little biology.

Day camp was also really hard. Because that's when all the academic skills were not necessary and it was all about being the best socially, physically and anything non-academic.
The summer before high school I did not go to a day camp for the first time because I had outgrown the one I was going to. I tried to make my own day camp and got out all these books from the library. There was one book that said "exercises for ages 5-12" I was 14 that time and I cried because I felt like I was too old to catch up in everything that I was behind in.

I ended up going to a public school for high school and felt so lost and confused. I suddenly had to take classes like beginners piano that put me at odds with advanced students taking that class "just for fun". But looking back, I can see how I couldnt enjoy those certain classes, or day camp experiences or any of this. Personally it was the fact that everything in my life had been so competitive and that created a tense environment and what I often felt as disconnect from others and a disengagement or disinterest from activities. So I lived thinking I have no talents, no passions, nothing and that was confirmed by those around me like my uncle who would throw insults at me right when I'm about to come out of my shell and try something I've been scared to try and I'd go right back into my shell, discouraged and hurt. For a long time I felt like I had no ability to enjoy things or even allowed to enjoy anything. I was known as the person who is too serious to have fun.

I'm saying all this because something I realized is that the social environment is also important in the equation of having motivation to do something. I remember taking Oceanography and hating it, getting a C+ and later on taking Geology 101, and finding the environment decent and getting an A+. I also remember a school librarian telling me I shouldn't bother applying to graduate school because my research skills are very bad. That same semester, a tutor who was helping me with my paper told me I should consider becoming a tutor. Over the years I've gotten such mixed views of my communication and expressive abilities, it's been crazy, you'd think they were talking about two different people. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that skills and talents are relative and social support does matter in this context. Maybe you do have passions but never had the chance to experience it in a supportive environment.

I also want to mention that no interest is insignificant or trivial. I know liberal arts education is often seen as trivial. So is anything that isn't STEM pretty much like music or video games. But if you find those things meaningful, enjoyable or interesting-it matters and is worth continuing. Whether or not you decide that will be your career path, it is still worth trying to schedule into your day.

Last thing I wanted to mention was when you said you didn't feel like doing anything physically. Do you think you may be experiencing a kind of burnout? Another possibility is an undetected physical condition that's contributing to your lack of energy. Sometimes I find myself mentally very hyper but physically tired that together creates this restless mood. I think exploring what's contributing to your lack of physical energy can help.

You're not stuck, though I know it feels that way. There's a way out of this, it may not be the one that's most visible though. Like if you keep pulling at a string the knot will get tighter but if you take a step back you may notice a strategy for untangling yourself. Remember, it may not be a straight path and that's okay. You may find yourself loving to do something and then later on hating that very thing. That's how I am sometimes with creative work. But it's all part of the learning process.

Hang in there
   
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Re: I hate everything - July 3rd 2016, 03:03 AM

I agree with pretty much everything Maizel said.

You're not a mistake. There's no way all these atoms came together to form this amazing human, as a mistake. Besides, even if you were mistake - which you're not - you have the ability to change that. Because you are in control of how you live your life. Of course that can get a little iffy at times I know, but you can choose to do something amazing and great with your life.

With what you enjoy - music and games - which let me tell you are not trivial. People make careers out of that. People spend money on that. Thousands of hundreds of millions of people on earth take part in those things. That's not trivial at all. It's what you like. please don't be ashamed of that!

I too have trouble with motivation and wanting to do things but not physically being able to do them, unfortunately you've heard this a lot probably - but you have to do it. No matter what. because sitting and doing nothing makes you feel worse. It makes you want to sit like that alone and miserable. and stuck. But once you get up that one time...It gradually becomes easier.

You can do it.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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