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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Green Yoshi Offline
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Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 05:23 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Heart:dead.
Smile:Kinda gone.
Vital Signs:There.
Thoughts:Unhealthy.
Happiness:What's the meaning of the word, even?
future:0.0000001% chance of happiness.
feeilngs:I belong to hell.
Chances of being saved again: lower than the chances of a pig flying.
Thoughts: Wishing I was dead .

I'm probably in a pretty bad situation here.. i guess.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Spirit. Offline
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 07:55 AM

You know, I see you helping everyone out. Always a kind word, always gently encouraging. Most importantly, a lot of love. You do as much as you can for everyone around you. What about yourself? All those things you tell other people, do you tell yourself that? Or are you not saying it to yourself because you think you're ay kind of different to not hear those things?

You're a really good person. And I'm really sorry you're feeling this way and things seem to be rough for you. Are you going for therapy?

I think I just mostly want to remind you that all those things you think about yourself?It's just that you are going through something and your mind is preventing you from seeing who you are, really. I think that's the most important thing to remember. That your mind isn't necessarily telling you the truth. Under those circumstances, whenever you find yourself thinking horrid thoughts or see yourself as not good enough, remember that it may just be your mind playing tricks on you and tell yourself that you're wonderful. Remind yourself that you are special. And that's the truth. You want to know why? There is no one like you in this entire world. Not a single person who could, in any way, replicate you. That makes you unique. The purpose that you have, no one else does. The way you are there for others, no one else is. What you do for everyone else, for the rest of the world, no one else can do it the same way. And that means you are a really great contribution to the world and you need to recognise it.

I hope things start looking up for you. And until then, hang on tight. I'm here if you need anything.

Take care,
Kaveri


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
luckiicloverxx Offline
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 09:49 AM

Hey there,

I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way about yourself, but why do you think you have almost no chance at happiness? I may have only spoken to you briefly before, but you seem like such a nice and encouraging person! Your signature has a quote about there always being a light at the end of the tunnel, and I agree with it. Do you no longer believe that there is and always will be a light at the end of the one you currently find yourself within?

I really hope you find a reason to be happy again, and realise what an amazing person you are and see how much happiness you deserve.

I don't know if this is what you're thinking, but I sometimes struggle with being happy because I find myself comparing my lives to that of others. But I soon note that I know very little about their actual lives beyond their social media accounts or the things they tell me. Everyone is going through their own issues and everyone has problems and things they want to change about their lives. You may think you have no chance at happiness, but I can guarantee that there is someone out there who looks at you and wishes that he could be as happy as he thinks you are.

I hope this helped

Kyra
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 12:52 PM

Thanks. I'm trying to think that there is one... I just lost a valuable friend to me, and this friend was the one who made things better for a long, long, long time...

I'm trying my best. Its just that incident has killed my heart...

not much can revive it. I'll do my best..

To know more on what happened, look at my "given up on life " thread somewhere below this one.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Nightblood. Offline
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 01:47 PM

Losing a close friend can be really hard. It took me a few years to get over losing one or two of mine. I think the problem though, is that you used this friend as your reason to be okay. The fact that this person seems to be the only thing that was keeping things "better" indicates that there's something else going on that probably needs to be dealt with. I don't think you're going to feel better until you get some professional help to deal with both your loss as well as the things that she made "better." True happiness can't come from other people, and it shouldn't. It's fine if other people supplement your happiness but they shouldn't be the only source because people are not permanent. They come and go. The same thing goes for relying on objects for happiness. If you can get some professional help and learn how to rely on internal sources of happiness rather than external, I think it'll last a lot longer. Happiness is more than obtainable for you, but you have to be willing to put forth the effort.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 05:06 PM

You're definitely right. thanks for your advice, and it means a lot. I'll try to keep your advice in mind and do the thing thats right for me.

I'm willing to put in the effort.. but it just hurts a lot.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Body: alive. - August 5th 2016, 08:47 PM

Someone who takes your happiness is not deserving of your pain. I'm sorry about everything you're going through and it's hard, because I've been in the same situation. It's just that we deal with things differently. I'm sorry that someone who should've lit up your life walked away selfishly instead of focusing on the fact that you meant absolutely no harm with your mistake. We all make mistakes and we never stop so someone who isn't accepting of you because of that doesn't deserve you as a friend and is a hypocrite because we all do things that may be stupid or just not right. From what you told me you only had good intentions so to know you're feeling like this is really heartbreaking and I'm very sorry. She doesn't deserve your time and interest.


   
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Re: Body: alive. - August 6th 2016, 09:15 AM

I remember you replying to one of my earliest posts and your advice helped me so much. You were the one who showed me what a great community Teenhelp is and I never thanked you for that, so I think now is a good time - thank you so much. I always see you on the site giving the best advice and spreading so much love, and now I think it's time for you to take some of that kindness for yourself. Losing a friend is the hardest thing, but don't let it cause you this much pain, you don't deserve it. If you were relying on your friend for a source of happiness the relationship wasn't a very healthy one, and you need to try and find that happiness yourself instead of through a friend. And you CAN do it that, it just takes time to find it inside yourself after you've relied on someone else for so long, but it is there and you WILL be able to find your own happiness.

I wish you all the luck in the world and I know you will be able to find happiness again


I am inimitable, I am an original

If you cannot reach me to fly, teach me to sing
   
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