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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Isaac Wan Offline
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Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 11:32 AM

I am just going to go straight into detail.

This year I will be taking my O'Levels(Getting into college exams) and I really am not using my days to full use.. Everyday is just a mess. I don't even revise at all. I don't even bother doing my homework, leaving it only to the last minute which I end up sleeping. I roughly have about 1 more month left to my final exams and I really need to score well...

My whole family does really well in exams except for me. My parents come from good universities, my brother's are in the top university of Singapore, but for me? I'm studying in a neighbourhood school and I regret a lot not taking my PSLE seriously(Exams to get to high school/secondary school).

Apart from that, everyday is just a living hell for me. I either lie on my bed thinking what video to watch on YouTube or I will just play my phone games and play until my parents come back and I will act "diligent in studying". My addiction has gone too far this time...

Thirdly, I have a lot of stress from my schoolmates. There are so many students who are studying so hard and the part that gets me agitated is their hands. Whenever they write fast, I shake and try to write fast and it gets me so tensed because they are also shaking.. It's really hard to say and I hope that I'm not the only one. Another thing I realise is that my teachers have a cold-harsh look on their face and whenever I see them, I feel like backing away because they seem to only want to help others instead of me. That's the main reason why I like to do things alone and not bother asking for help.

Lastly, I wish to motivate myself to start studying but nothing helps and I will just fall into the same situation everyday. Every single night I tell myself "Tomorrow will be a good day to study" but NO. It always ends up in sleeping, playing my phone games and slacking at the window(looking at girls down the blocks).

My life is so useless and pointless right now and I really want to seek change. I wish I can rid off all of these bad habits. I wish I can stop my addictions, the constant pressure I get from my friends and to stop looking at girls down the block because it really makes me depressed whenever I see students who are from better schools..

I hope this forum will change me before it's too late. I have been feeling really low and I'm on the verge of considering suicide to end all of this even if it will make my family depressed. But I think without me life will still be excellent for others. Please, I wish that just for once I can do well for my O'Levels exams and make everyone proud of me. I want to really pay back to all those who helped me in my studies but I just can't find a way to do so.

I want to change my life no matter what it takes, please help me..
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 11:57 AM

Hey, I was born in Singapore so I totally understand the stress bit With the bad habits, you just have to have self control. Create a goal for urself everyday, and increase them little by little until ur satisfied with ur study timetable. For example, you could do an hour's worth of studying today, then double that tomorrow and so on. Another thing you could do to help relieve the stress is to study overseas. Sometimes a change of environment could do you good. Talk to ur parents about it as well. See if they could help you


Do what makes you HAPPY, be with those who make you SMILE. LAUGH as much as you breathe, and LOVE as long as you live.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Isaac Wan Offline
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 12:38 PM

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Originally Posted by xxWildxx View Post
Hey, I was born in Singapore so I totally understand the stress bit With the bad habits, you just have to have self control. Create a goal for urself everyday, and increase them little by little until ur satisfied with ur study timetable. For example, you could do an hour's worth of studying today, then double that tomorrow and so on. Another thing you could do to help relieve the stress is to study overseas. Sometimes a change of environment could do you good. Talk to ur parents about it as well. See if they could help you
This helped me a bit but I kind of feel the same even after planning... I'm going to put a strict control on my games as of now, maybe this will be my first move to stop. Since you're from Singapore, may I know about you more?? I want to know about how you went through Secondary school and O'Levels, and what are you doing currently. I always loved to hear inspirational stories and I hope to hear yours too and maybe I could change my ways and follow your way and it might actually help me.

Studying overseas, I will think about it, I really need to do well in the exams locally first before I think further haha... As for the timetable, I will try my best to do one now and follow it. If I don't, then maybe I will try to experiment other ways.

About my parents, they usually don't want to bother me when I study, plus I find myself suffering more when I talk to them. It's the heart pain I get when they know of the bad news I tell them (bad grades or other things that upset them), so even if I tell them later about my problems, I will get the heart pain most likely.
   
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 12:58 PM

That's ok Feel free to pm me if you need anything!


Do what makes you HAPPY, be with those who make you SMILE. LAUGH as much as you breathe, and LOVE as long as you live.
   
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 05:25 PM

Hello.

I do think that for you, the best route to go is to know that whatever happens, you're someone with potential and talent. You might need to study more, but you kind of also adopt a mindset where you are not allowed to fail.. which puts more pressure on you. This pressure leads to escape, and escape leads to distractions. Why not try to study just for the sake of studying? Forget the pressure... just do your best. That might be a mental approach that works.. its better than encumbering yourself with more burden than your shoulders can bear.

I know that it'll work out for you. You just gotta believe, and know that a better future is out there for you.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 14th 2016, 05:27 PM

It seems like a lot of us struggle with procrastination and motivation when it comes to school work and studying for important exams. I am guilty of it as well.

It is easy to look at how other people are focusing on their schoolwork, studies, and successes, but it rarely does anyone any good to compare themselves to others. I really really highly recommend you try to not let your thoughts of comparison between your brother and schoolmates get in the way of you being successful. The best thing to do is focus on you. You are the only one who can change your habits and get those scores that you want - and if others get higher scores or into a better university that does not mean that you've failed or are somehow lower than them. That doesn't mean that you will not be successful later in life or once you get into school.

You might regret not working harder in previous years but that regret does nothing but make you feel worse and bring you down. There is absolutely nothing that it can do for you now other than remind you that you need to work harder. Please do not let those thoughts of regret consume you!

I like what the other poster said about making a schedule. It makes it a little easier, but it won't work for you unless you stick to it. I do think maybe toning it down on the games is a good idea. If I was you, I would delete them until your exams are over that way you are not tempted to go on them. That includes the Youtube app if you have that on your phone as well! One 5 minute video ends up being several...and then the cycle repeats. I've been there.

You have to ask for help when you need it in school. I know it can be hard to speak up, but this is your opportunity to learn and do not waste that opportunity! It's very important to you, I can tell.

You said you have a few friends, do you think maybe you could start studying with them? I know studying with friends can be a hit or miss on some occasions for myself and others though. Sometimes it motivates me to actually do stuff...and sometimes I end up getting nothing done. So figure out if it will work for you, but it might help to have someone there to push you. My roommate and I had this agreement that when we were busy with schoolwork we would put our phones in "Phone Jail" Which was our microwave. It was kind of funny and it worked for us! You might put your phone on do not disturb mode or airplane mode to keep yourself from being distracted by it as well.

You might also look into a tutoring program at your current school or talking to your counselor about your troubles with focusing on school work. They might be able to find you a tutor who can sit with you and make sure you don't look at your phone or are actually doing their work.

School work and being focused can be hard, but suicide is never the answer. It won't solve your problems, just end the chance of them getting better and you deserve to see that! Please stay strong, and maybe look into talking to a professional about those thoughts if they persist.

I hope you do well. You have the ability to do it! Good luck!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Isaac Wan Offline
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 16th 2016, 08:37 AM

Thanks guys for the support Honestly I thought this was another kind of forum whereby there will only be replies every month but given the amount of replies in just 2 days really makes me feel motivated

As for me, I will be trying out the rest of the methods so far except for some, particularly my friends and the talk with my parents.

My friends are largely competitive in their studies and asking for help seems like the last thing I want to do to them. However asking the teachers, that I will try but I will ask my friends only when the teachers are not in class for a long period of time.

Right now the real reason why I don't want to tell my parents is because of the fact that I don't interact much with them. Most of the times I would talk about happy things and by telling them about the current pressure I have and such would seem very odd and that feeling that you get when you say it out. It's just not the right time and I feel that I should try to find alternative ways to resolve my problems. Most of the time whenever I face a problem, I tend to give up once I can't solve it. Other than that, I can try to ask my teachers instead or get help from you guys in this forum.

Thanks in advance I hope that this year I will for once bloom and make everyone proud. Please continue to support me as I am easily depressed whenever I face tough situations... Thank you so much all of you!!
   
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 16th 2016, 08:59 AM

This is something that everyone should be experiencing their lifetime. There are times when You can understand that there are no one that can understand you. Stress is a situation of that sort. But by god's grace, my parents were there especially my mum was with me when I was stressed and she would say to me the stories of the things that she had to face when she was of my age. But that was really inspirational. This really helped me come out of my trouble in a wonderful way and she asked to go through books that would inspire me
   
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 16th 2016, 01:09 PM

Glad that things seem to be getting better. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.. everyone asks for help once in a while.. but you can beat this. Also, you're someone with a lot of worries, but know that this worries will be beaten one by one. You're responsible and I'm sure that you know how to work and do the right thing when the time comes. Rejoice and know that it'll definitely be all okay.

I think that you got this in the bag and if you need someone to help or someone to listen to, I'm your man.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Life's a huge pile of mess right now. I really need help.. - August 16th 2016, 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaac Wan View Post
Thanks guys for the support Honestly I thought this was another kind of forum whereby there will only be replies every month but given the amount of replies in just 2 days really makes me feel motivated

As for me, I will be trying out the rest of the methods so far except for some, particularly my friends and the talk with my parents.

My friends are largely competitive in their studies and asking for help seems like the last thing I want to do to them. However asking the teachers, that I will try but I will ask my friends only when the teachers are not in class for a long period of time.

Right now the real reason why I don't want to tell my parents is because of the fact that I don't interact much with them. Most of the times I would talk about happy things and by telling them about the current pressure I have and such would seem very odd and that feeling that you get when you say it out. It's just not the right time and I feel that I should try to find alternative ways to resolve my problems. Most of the time whenever I face a problem, I tend to give up once I can't solve it. Other than that, I can try to ask my teachers instead or get help from you guys in this forum.

Thanks in advance I hope that this year I will for once bloom and make everyone proud. Please continue to support me as I am easily depressed whenever I face tough situations... Thank you so much all of you!!
I'm really glad you found it helpful, and we are always happy to help here on TeenHelp. My inbox is always open if you ever need at as well. And it's okay if you don't do everything we suggested. I'm glad that you'll look into a few of the things, but hey, if some of it doesn't work for you, that's okay.

You can do it! Good luck!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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