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sushi_error Offline
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Frustrated and annoyed - May 20th 2009, 12:33 AM

This will be a long one, so brace yourselves if you choose to read it. I wasn't sure where to put this thread as it does involve friends and whatnot.

Over the last two months, things have been going really downhill for me. They are beginning to look up a tiny bit, but not enough for me, I guess.
Last month, something terrible happened to my family. Things are starting to look up for us, but this certain event really affected us. I decided to reach out to my closest friends and told them what had happened. I made sure they would keep it under wraps, as it was a family matter that I did not want anyone other than my friends and family to know. Unfortunately, one of my closest friends decided to tell a friend of ours the day after I told her. Obviously, this really set me off and I was frustrated/angry at my friend for a couple of weeks. I finally confronted her about this and decided to forgive her. However, I just don't want to see her in school and/or talk to her, right now. Even though I forgave her, she really hurt me by gossiping and now, she has lost the majority of my trust which is too bad. I'm not sure how I should handle this problem now, despite forgiving my friend. I don't know if she will ever regain my full trust and I kinda doubt she will.

Second, I have been very depressed since the end of last year. At times, my depression can be really, really bad. At other times, I feel happy, but not fully happy. I feel really distant from the majority of my friends and I feel very lonely at times. I usually find myself home alone on the weekends and I rarely go out with my friends. I usually do not receive phone calls from my friends or text messages. I understand they are busy as I am too with school and other activities, but it would be nice to get a phone call once in awhile, even if it is to just chat. The majority of them, I find myself having to call my friends, instead of waiting for them to call.

I celebrated my 17th birthday in January and only one of my closest friends actually wished me a happy birthday. Yes, I know that probably sounds really selfish and mean. However, I kinda wanted a birthday wish from my other close friends as I usually post on their Facebook walls if they have a b-day, call them, or even give them a gift. And last week, a friend of mine celebrated her birthday. I am friends with some of her friends, so I felt kinda sad when a really close friend of mine purchased a birthday cake for her. Honestly, no one ever does things like that for me on my birthday. I have never been thrown a surprise b-day party, etc. And I apologize if that sounds absolutely selfish and arrogant on my part. I see people hanging out at school, making plans with one another, and sometimes I get really sad because I rarely get to do that. I probably should let go of the past, but I can't help thinking about the one time when I was hanging out with a close friend of mine at her home. She basically kicked me out, because she wanted to go say good-bye to another friend because she was leaving for a trip.

I'm sorry if this is all jumbled up, but I guess what my point is: I feel really alone, right now. I just want school to end. I like to hang out with my friends, but definitely not as much as in the past. In some ways, I am growing tired of my friends and this has only added onto my deep depression. I used to have abuse DXM a couple of times a week, but thankfully, I have not relapsed. That's basically it.


Check out my blog: White-Out Blots

How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday,
When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way,
How did Ghandi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all,
Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall,
It's to give; I guess I'll pass it on

- Take a Minute, K'naan
   
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Re: Frustrated and annoyed - May 20th 2009, 03:32 AM

Hi Mai,

I'm really sorry to hear about the friend trouble, and all the stuff that's been going on. It can really suck when friends become forgetful. And no, you're not sounding selfish at all - you're sounding like a rather nice-seeming human being who naturally wants people to care about her just as she's cared about them.

And you deserve to be around people who'll care about you. Sometimes, when people really are our friends deep down but for some reason are just having a brain freeze, it can be okay to give them a bit of a nudge and be like "Hey, so, what's been up with you lately? I've been feeling a little distant from you." Or however you would phrase that - it's relatively nonaccusatory, but can help jog someone's realization that maybe that haven't been paying as much attention as they meant to to you.

And we're always here if you want to talk, to

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Frustrated and annoyed - May 21st 2009, 12:20 AM

Yeah, it just has been really difficult. I'm just not sure what to do anymore, because school is only adding onto the stress.


Check out my blog: White-Out Blots

How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday,
When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way,
How did Ghandi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all,
Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall,
It's to give; I guess I'll pass it on

- Take a Minute, K'naan
   
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dancer Offline
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Age: 28
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Re: Frustrated and annoyed - May 21st 2009, 06:20 AM

Hmm... sometimes it can be helpful to just take a step back and think "what's the thing that I really want to address right now that resolving might help me feel better afterwards?"

Yeah, school can definitely be stressful. But thankfully, the school day is limited to a certain number of hours per day and a certain of days per week Sometimes, talking to teachers - you don't have to be tremendously specific or anything - but just mentioning that you've kind of been under stress overload lately and was wondering if they would mind helping figure out something that could help make handling school a little more manageable can be helpful... teachers are supposed to be there to help out the students in their classes...

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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