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I'm crying... I'm dying... I'm lying alone, I need to be strong... - September 23rd 2016, 03:07 AM

I'm slowly dying inside. I just have been feeling so depressed from emotional issues. I'm constantly cold from not eating enough and I don't know how to stand up for myself because I'm afraid of being judged or being rude about it. People are bullies and people just hate me. I feel like the whole school hates me and I just don't know what i did wrong. Everyone is avoiding me and the kindness they give me always seems forced.

I just want to go die. I can't do that though bc I need to be strong. It's only 7 pm right now but I'm so stressed and exauhsted that I'm ready for bed now. I don't wanna be here for the pain. I have no friends... Or at least ones at my school so I'm always lonely. I sit in the library at lunch doing research bc I've got nothing better to do. I just hate my life and myself and which I could find a way out of the pain. I want to move passed these moments instead of giving up altogether but my first impulse is to leave. I want to get through this before it gets worse.

I'm getting a counselor next month but I think it's time right now bc my depression is not getting any better. If anything, it's getting worse. I just don't wanna miss school or soccer over it.

Please! Tell me that I'm not alone. I just need someone to talk to and I need someone to lift me up and I also need to stop depending on other people for happiness. But right now, I just need love.
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Re: I'm crying... I'm dying... I'm lying alone, I need to be strong... - September 25th 2016, 12:47 PM

You are diffidently making the right decision by getting a counsellor. As for the bullying and being judged try to change your perspective, if they have a problem with you then that's their problem, right? I'm guessing you are I high school right now. People say that's meant to be the best years of your life, that's bull shit. I'm in y11 (Last year) right now so I know for a fact it is full of mean, petty people who are so mixed up that they take it out on people around them. You just have to kept your head up and bare with it. Once you finish school popularity and all that doesn't matter anymore. I mean you don't have anyone distracting you so play that to your advantage to focus in lessons and get the best education out of it you possibly can while everyone else screws up their future with things that seem like they matter because they have nothing else to do.
Hang in there
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Re: I'm crying... I'm dying... I'm lying alone, I need to be strong... - September 25th 2016, 05:23 PM

Thanks so much Undia!
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crying, dying, lying, strong

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