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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Fanatic Offline
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Question Do you think it's normal to not tell others you're going to kill yourself? - November 2nd 2016, 12:47 AM

Of course, it's bad to not try to seek help for your depression or for destructive behaviors..but honestly, I don't usually and am afraid of the consequences of people judging me for my mental instability and the way the people I care for look at me. Honestly, I feel like the only way of ever getting actual help and getting others around me to take me serious is actually doing something. But if I look at my sister, whom has history of suicidal attempts and self-harm, still no one in my family takes her seriously even. A lot of the times I feel like I have to do everything on my own without the help of others, because they'll just get in the way...I don't know anymore and what to feel. I think I say this too much, but time just seems to be going by and it feels wasteful and long. The day of constant struggles, constant fears, worries, constant depression. It can make anyone go insane. For anyone to become an empty husk filled with nothingness. And it's hard to be with people you care for, but always wonder if they truly care for you or it's just chores to them or they feel obligated until they get tired of you and don't want to do it anymore. A lot of these thoughts are constantly in my mind...I just feel at the point where I don't care about living anymore. I feel weak, tired, and I just want to go home to where my grandpa is..I was actually thinking of setting a date for my death not exactly a time and but also what to do for it...it's just so difficult continuing to be strong everyday...I'm just getting worse and worse...



"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


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outofbreath Offline
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Re: Do you think it's normal to not tell others you're going to kill yourself? - November 4th 2016, 10:47 PM

Hello Mary,

I was the same way with how I felt. To be quite honest, I still keep all my feelings to myself, especially, the destructive ones. I have just found that no matter who I talked to, they'd make me feel worse. Whether it was that they didn't take me seriously. or they were rude. or they didn't listen or didn't understand.
I learned to talk myself out of destructive thoughts. It didn't work every time but I am very happy I am still here. I have learned to deal with things on my own.
What I suggest is finding something you love or enjoy; a distraction to get you through the day, or just the moment. Writing helped me. I know it sounds stupid and possibly hopeless. But unfortunately sometimes, you can't talk to anyone. So you have to find a way to survive. I promise it'll get easier.
And if you'd like, my inbox is always open. I am here to listen. You can talk, scream, vent, I don't care. I just care that you're safe. If you look at my old posts, I was incredibly lost. I still am, at times. But let me tell you, I promise you, it gets better.

Also, your family or friends may not react the best way to what you are going through, but that does NOT mean they don't care. They love you. Don't forget that.
By the way, I love Melanie Martinez haha.
   
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Fanatic Offline
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Re: Do you think it's normal to not tell others you're going to kill yourself? - November 7th 2016, 08:04 AM

Thanks so much, Olivia! I'll definitely keep you in mind when I need someone to talk to. It's always so hard to deal with these thoughts all the time...but anyway I'm still alive and I guess friends can make it easier to get through the motions and hobbies could help. I just wished they would help during bedtime :P I struggle sooo much getting to sleep because I get plentiful of panic attacks, severe depression, and anxiety all in one go. But also thanks again for answering! Im glad someone else likes Melanie Martinez like I do haha :P



"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


  Send a message via Skype™ to Fanatic 
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Re: Do you think it's normal to not tell others you're going to kill yourself? - November 7th 2016, 09:30 PM

Hi Mary,

I think it is normal to not want to tell others that you feel suicidal. Depression and things similar to it are very much taboo in today's society by a lot of people. It's a shame, but I completely understand where you are coming from.

I'm glad that friends and some things do make it easier. It's really good to have good friends who help kind of lift that burden - even if they don't always know about the depression - and to have hobbies as well. That's so good and it's so easy to become isolated by depression and thoughts of suicide. Don't let that happen. Keep a hold of those good friends and things that you enjoy.

It is hard to figure out the best way of how you're going to get help. i'm sorry you feel as though even your parents wouldn't take you seriously if you were to do something. That must be incredibly hard. That being said I do not believe that attempting is the only way to get help. There are people that will surprise you with how much they care. It doesn't have to be your family either. It can be someone at school, it can be those good friends, and it can even be a hotline. Especially when it gets hard at night. I know it is often times harder when I'm alone, so It makes sense that it's the same for you too. Everyone is different though. Does anything alleviate those feelings at night - or not so much?


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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