TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,340
Blog Entries: 461
Join Date: May 12th 2016

cant - November 4th 2016, 09:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Quit therapy, today was my last session.
I don't remember much of it and it just finished like 30 minutes ago.
I broke down today after the fight but I was aggressive as I was shouting and I was having like a meltdown and tantrum mixed together. And it was shortly before going to therapy so I don't know how I managed to not cry in therapy. I guess I cried myself out in the train. Now I feel dehydrated and ill.

I told my family that I promise them I won't come home tonight. That don't worry, the crazy person who ruins everything will be fine. (Sister called me crazy while I was crying. She was saying she did nothing wrong to me and therefore the reason I'm upset is that I'm crazy)

I took an envelope of money with me and I'm going to use it to buy materials.


I'm sitting in the train station, and 7 trains have passed. I didn't take any of them but I will take the next one and get off where the hardware store is.


I can't do it anymore. I want out. I just NEED out.

My father apologized last time and this time and yhats strange to me and cobfuding me even more. I dont trust anything. I dont even know if the bench im sitting on is real. Or if im real. Or if anything is real.

I'm going to stop going to the support group too because I can't do it anymore.

I need to be as invisible as possible. Maybe I will disappear.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Tabitha04 Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Tabitha04's Avatar
 
Name: Tabitha
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 59
Join Date: October 2nd 2016

Re: cant - November 4th 2016, 09:41 PM

Thank you for reaching out. Remember, therapy is about you and getting your needs met. Your counselor was not helping you.

You are not crazy. You are a person with a problem, and need help. What kind of materials are you buying? Please, please post back. We care about you here.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,340
Blog Entries: 461
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: cant - November 4th 2016, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabitha04 View Post
Thank you for reaching out. Remember, therapy is about you and getting your needs met. Your counselor was not helping you.

You are not crazy. You are a person with a problem, and need help. What kind of materials are you buying? Please, please post back. We care about you here.
I was being a bad client probably.

Maybe I am crazy by now. Maybe I'm a bad person and need to stop being a problem.

I was going to buy somethingdont think I'm allowed to be specific. The rules say no explicit methods and I'm not sure about how precise I can be with the materials.

I ended up at the pharmacy for some hours. I'm still there. I don't want to go home. I need sleep but I don't want to go back.

I looked through the aisles for pills. I have a few in mind. I might just walk out instead. I don't want to go home though.

But I don't want to worry my family as much as I'm upset with them. I would rather not shake the boat and just go home. I physically can't get myself to that though. I keep telling myself it is getting late and to just go home.

I've been through this so many times. I ended up going home. But this time I can't. My fear is too much. My anxiety is too much. I'm stuck.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,340
Blog Entries: 461
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: cant - November 5th 2016, 01:58 AM

Came home. They were in the middle of fighting.
Worst mistake to come home. Ended up shouting because they were talking bad about me.

This is why I should have gone through with the plan. Thinking of going back out again and I'm not even home for 20 minutes
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Tabitha04 Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Tabitha04's Avatar
 
Name: Tabitha
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 59
Join Date: October 2nd 2016

Re: cant - November 5th 2016, 12:36 PM

Is there someone you can stay with?? A shelter where you live?
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,340
Blog Entries: 461
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Unhappy Re: cant - November 5th 2016, 01:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabitha04 View Post
Is there someone you can stay with?? A shelter where you live?
I've looked into shelters. I got close into staying at one. I told my therapist (the one I had my last session with. His reaction made me think I'm exaggerating or overreactingThis happened more than once.

Last edited by ~Radio Flyer~; November 5th 2016 at 02:11 PM. Reason: keyboard froze and typos
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,340
Blog Entries: 461
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: cant - November 13th 2016, 08:31 PM

Just wanted to update: I spoke to a local chatline counselor. She gave me resources for local outpatirnt clinics. She said the ones she looked up had therapists that specialized in domestic violence. She also gave me links to domestic violence shelters. I now have a few to look into and I have more from the previous times with different chatline counselors who gave me referrals.

I don't know why, but I feel SO scared. I also feel like I'm not allowed to see a therapist, especially not one that specializes in domestic violence. Because, somehow I feel like I'm not deserving of support and my situation isn't serious and that I complain too much and will ruin the family if I talk about it.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.