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I tried to kill myself (tw). - November 24th 2016, 08:33 PM

I've been struggling with self harm since I was 13 (I'm 16 now). I have trouble loving myself, and I've been pretty sensitive and overthinking what others say to me, especially my family.

One night, I got a panic attack, and I had a [Edited], and I just swallowed all of the [Edited].
I was planning to take a lot more, but I knew what I did was wrong, and Advils won't really hurt me instantly, but affect me more in the long run.

It was a bad night.
Just a few days ago, though, I took [Edited] Advils, impulsively. I talked to Poison Control and they wanted to call an ambulance for me. I disconnected immediately, hoping they won't. Suicide hotline made me promise I won't hurt myself or else they'll have to track me and call emergency services. I had a hard time sleeping that night because of the extreme stomach pains.

I just wanted to put that out there. I've never gotten any professional help, just support from my friends.
Right now I feel down again, and the thought of taking a lot of advils again (and along with my strong prescription) is taking over my mind. I hate how I can be so impulsive, and I don't know why I'm ruining my own health. I'm not even taking enough to actually die, but just to the point I feel pain, or relief. I guess it's kind of like a form of self harm? I don't even know. I'm so confused.

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; November 26th 2016 at 01:50 AM. Reason: Please do not post methods of suicide. :)
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Re: I tried to kill myself (tw). - November 26th 2016, 01:53 AM

Hey there,

I think that you need to talk to someone about what is going on. I know that is hard to do but finding help while you are dealing with the negative thoughts is the best step you can take. If you seek help for this you might be able to get into therapy and maybe even find a psychiatrist. Both things could help you get to a place where you don't feel like harming yourself. When I was seventeen I attempted suicide and I ended up getting into seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. Both doctors helped me quite a bit and I have not attempted suicide in a few years. You could get to that place too.

Also, if you are in danger of harming yourself or have taken something please call the police so that they can send an ambulance out. There is always a chance that you are doing damage to your body or there is a chance that you will take one too many medications and will permanently harm yourself. I would hate to see that happen.

If you need anything feel free to message me.

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depression, kill, self harm, suicide attempt

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