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Unhappy my roommate doesn't respect me - December 3rd 2016, 08:14 PM

I go to boarding school. This isn't a school people get sent to, it's a school people want to go to. I live in a small dorm room with another person, let's call her D.

D and I both had horrible roommates at the beginning of the year and eventually were able to switch to room with each other. My old roommate made my anxiety the worst its been in several years, I couldn't focus on anything because I was always panicking what horrible thing she would do next.

When I got D as a new roommate, I was excited. She seemed really sweet and I thought we would be perfect since we both had horrible situations before. In the beginning it was good, we got along but things started arising.

1. She never lets me speak. She is always talking and when I start talking she interrupts me or leaves the room. It feels like she just doesn't care about me. She can't expect me to give my everything to her when she won't even listen to me.
2. I had to buy ear plugs because she snores (not her fault, but still sucks) and she also is very loud when i'm trying to sleep, even though i'm very quiet when she is sleeping. She is always playing music and movies outloud, and will not listen to me saying please use headphones.
3. She constantly purposefully wakes me up (this is kind of a part of 2) but then once i'm awake she doesn't talk to me or anything...
4. She has extreme depression and anxiety, and her mother is schizophrenic, which she shows signs of.

4 is so hard. I've had depression and anxiety in the past so I get it, but living with someone who is trying to bring me down to her level to essentially hurt with her is horrible. She knows there is something wrong and she's going to try to get help over christmas break but we have 2 1/2 weeks until then. My mental health is going down the drain right now, because she is making me miserable. It's so sad because over the summer I was finally able to get off my anti-depressant because I was doing so well and now she's bringing me back into that black hole.

I really want to talk to her about not waking me up all the time purposely, but she is extremely irrational about everything so I don't know how to go about it.

Does anybody have any ideas how to deal with people like this? She's using me as a doormat and I can't live in a room where I get no respect...
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Re: my roommate doesn't respect me - December 3rd 2016, 08:18 PM

Is there a teacher or someone you can talk to about this and get some advice? Personally I think that talking to D about the issues is the best thing to do but if she'll get mad or harm you in some way then you should probably avoid that. I think that opening up to someone at your school about what is going on could be really helpful. They could probably help you come up with solutions and then if things get bad they could intervene and find you a new roommate or something.

Best of luck.

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Re: my roommate doesn't respect me - December 5th 2016, 12:53 AM

I agree with the above post.
You should speak to someone at your boarding school. Do you guys have an on site counselor or guidance counselor? That would be a great place to start. Explain that you are recovering from your own mental health issues, and your concerns about your roommates and your mental health. They could potentially be able to sit you two down and help you both.
If you don't have a guidance counselor, I was suggest a teacher or someone of authority that you trust and explain the situation to them.

I think that talking to D would also be quite helpful. If, as stated above, you think that she will react okay and not try to hurt herself or you. At least the simple requests you have like her using headphones when you are sleeping and not waking you up.

If you ever need to chat about your mental health concerns, feel free to send me a PM, I am happy to listen and help in anyway that I can.

Hang in there. <3
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