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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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gloves123 Offline
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I'm scared and tired - December 12th 2016, 01:47 AM

Lately I've been feeling what you could call suicidal. It's not that I'm actively trying to kill myself, it's just my mind has been going on a downward spiral. I can't stop thinking about how meaningless my life is, and how no one wants me around, and that the friends I've made at university will all leave me when they find someone better. I won't go into detail because I k ow it can be triggering. I've slipped back into my old self harm habits, and lately it seems everything is falling apart again, and I don't know if I have to energy to fix it again. I'm so tired, I can't seem to connect with people anymore, I'm just falling behind and I can't see to fix it anymore. I'm scared, and I don't know what to do...it's been nearly 10 years of this and I'm so fucking tired.
   
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Re: I'm scared and tired - December 12th 2016, 07:43 PM

Hi,

It sounds like you are and have been going through a really rough time. I would encourage to not give into your suicidal thoughts. Life, may be hard at times but I promise that it is worth it.

As far as your friends go, I doubt that they are going to find someone better and leave you. People don't typically stick around if they don't actually like someone. I am sure you are a great person who people care for dearly. The depression may just be clouding that.

I know you said you didn't want to go fully into everything because it can be triggering. I think it's nice that you are looking out for others but it's also important to look at for yourself and get what's going on inside of you out. Otherwise it will just keep bottling up until you explode. If you want to talk about the triggering stuff (or anything ) please feel free to PM me, I am a safe person and I won't be triggered by what you tell me.

I know life is hard, but you don't have to do this alone. Keep going, hun. I'm always here for you!
   
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