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Owen Allen Offline
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I need somebody to talk to - January 26th 2017, 12:11 AM

Hi my name is Owen and I have been super depressed for the past 2 and a half weeks. Today has by far been the best day however until I took my driving test. I failed it by one point and now I feel like a useless failure. I failed manuverability. It took me 3 tries to back up, I kept accidently stopping right in the middle of backing up, and I ever so lightly tapped the cone. Not nock over, tap. Once she made me stop to put the cones away I k ew I had instantly failed and I seriously hate myself right now. I'm 18 and a senior in highschool and not haveing a licence has severely affected my self esteem and has made me feel like a complete loser and utter failure since everyone else in my grade and two of my best friends have their lisences and cars and drive and its so hard not to feel like a loser comparred to them. I just really need someone to just talk to me.
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Re: I need somebody to talk to - January 26th 2017, 12:24 AM

I know what's it's like. It feels like everyone knows you don't have it and judge you for it, but I don't really think that's the case. Everyone is so enveloped in their own worlds that people rarely notice things like this, unless you tell them obviously.

But, I'm sorry that you haven't gotten it yet, but I would just keep trying until you get it. I certainly don't think you should feel like a failure over this, because it sounds like you really should have gotten it.

As for your feelings of being depressed, I think there is a few things you could do. I don't know exactly if you have a therapist or not, but I highly recommend getting one (if possible) if you don't already. I realize it is always hard coming out and saying things like this, but I think it will help you a lot.

If you already have one or aren't comfortable talking about it to your parents yet, you can always talk to a friend around you, because talking it out always is something that makes me feel better. If you aren't comfortable talking to anyone about it, just write it down. Getting all of your thoughts and emotions onto paper doesn't just make you feel better, but it makes you see more clearly what exactly you've been feeling.

Always know that I am here and willing to talk at anytime
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Re: I need somebody to talk to - January 26th 2017, 12:42 AM

Hey there! I'm sorry your day didn't go well, that sucks. Like the person above said, it's probably a good idea to talk to a friend or someone you trust in person. It can definitely be hard, but it's very worth it to have someone to talk to.

If you still need to talk, don't hesitate to shoot me a message! I've been in a similar place mentally and I'd be happy to help you out or just chat.

The opposite of war isn't peace - it's creation
~Jonathan Larson

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Re: I need somebody to talk to - January 27th 2017, 12:06 AM

Hi, Owen.

I'm sorry you've been feeling depressed. Is it okay if I ask if there's anything happening in your life to cause your depression? Depression isn't always caused by any certain thing, but if it is in your case then I want to reassure you that you're welcome to talk about it. On that note, do you have any close friends you trust to talk to about your depression, as well as talk about this regarding your driver's test? I encourage you to open up to someone you trust such as a family member, close family friend or a teacher and seek help from a professional if you continue feeling depressed. You shouldn't have to deal with it alone, you know?

Just because your friends have their license doesn't mean you're any less of a person for not having it. Although, I can understand the feeling of being left out, or left behind in a way. You were likely very nervous, just as all of us would be when taking the driving test. I heard from the worker at the driver's center that most teens panic and don't get around the block. But you went for it and you should be proud of yourself.

Do you have your learner's permit? If not, my advice is to get your learner's permit. With that, you can drive as long as there's a licensed driver in the seat beside you. This would be a good way to get comfortable with learning to drive while you have someone in the car that you're personally comfortable with. You could get a lot of practice to be able to do well on the driving test.

Remember, you aren't a failure or a loser. Not everyone passes the test on the first try. You'll get your license but in the meantime, focus on practicing, getting experience and staying safe in the process; safety's key. You can do both - you can beat this depression and you can complete this test. Believe in yourself and encourage yourself, and prepare. You've got this.
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Re: I need somebody to talk to - January 28th 2017, 07:10 PM

Hi Owen,

I'm really sorry to hear that you failed your drivers test. I didn't fail either of mine, so I can't really relate, but I can understand how hard it must be. I've had a couple people fail it and they were upset about it at first, but then they eventually used it as motivation to practice and do the test again.

My recommendation is to take this as a learning opportunity. Start practicing what you didn't do well on and practice as much as you can until you can do your test again.

Try not to think about the fact that you failed it, as it's already done and you can't do anything to change it. You can not change the past.

Stay strong,

“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”

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Re: I need somebody to talk to - February 1st 2017, 11:12 PM

Hi there

Thank you for coming to us while you feel low and depressed. I am sorry you are going through this but you don't deserve to suffer alone and I am glad you have felt able to reach out to us here at Teenhelp!

I am going to tell you something. We never fail unless we give up completely.If you never try to pass your test again to be able to drive, then I may consider that as failing. But you have not yet failed, you just however still need to suceed. But let me take you back to when you first ever began driving a car. Did you just know how to do it? Or did you learn to drive? Because to be at a point where you are having your test, you must have learnt a lot to be at that point which is a huge success alone and proves you never failed. You still have many chances to pass your test so as long as you keep trying, you have not yet failed and still have time to pass but you have learnt a lot and it's not all about the destination we go to, but about the journey we go on to get to our destination.

Has anything triggered you to feel so low about not passing your test as yet? If there is nothing please know that is okay because not everyone who feels like has been through a traumatic experience etc to struggle with a mental illness. However if there is something and you ever want to talk to us about it, please know we are here and always willing and happy to help. You deserve life and a space to talk; don't ever suffer in silence when you feel you are struggling the most.

Stay fighting and remember, we are always here.

Hope and wishes,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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