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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Chaotic_ Offline
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Is it normal? - February 9th 2017, 03:40 AM

Is it normal to feel depressed while working through therapy. I find my therapist really helpful and he actually has me talking which is a miracle as I tend to clam up and not talk. I just notice that often after a session, I will feel depressed throughout the day. Plus, I've been noticing a lot of my triggers now, which I know is good and it makes him happy as well. It's just rough sometimes, and I know that it's normal I would just like the reassurance, I guess.

Also, my counselor thinks that I should e-mail my advisor in college, and have a meeting and tell him about my anxiety triggers since a lot if them revolve around school and consequently my advisor. I was told not to worry about the outcome, but that's so hard. I have an e-mail written but I haven't sent it yet. The idea of being rejected again, scares me. Also, I already e-mailed him questions about class, and he has yet to e-mail me back. I don't know if I should just send it or wait for his response to the first one.

Another thing that has been kind of bugging me is I told my counselor two weeks ago about my self-harm urges and he wanted to wait to talk about them, mostly because I'm not self-harming and it's a huge issue to tackle. I don't know if I should bring it up again, if he eventually will. I kind of what to e-mail him about my depression and how deep it goes, but I'm scared to do that.

Any advice would be great. Thanks.
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Re: Is it normal? - February 9th 2017, 04:22 AM

I get that too, if I'm understanding you correctly. I think it's just because a lot of things are brought up at once and while you're working through them, it definitely can be a lot to talk about and it can be hard to talk about. A lot of different feelings, thoughts, and memories can be brought up in a session. Think that after a session it is important for you to practice self care and so some kind things for yourself, because therapy sessions can be really difficult and you deserve to treat yourself after. At least, that's my thought!

It definitely is normal that you're noticing your triggers more now. I think the important thing is to go along with FINDING the triggers, you talk to your therapist about solutions, or at least ways to cope when the solution can't be immediately solved. You can even keep a sort of journal so you can track what your feelings, thoughts, and triggers are to discuss in therapy later.

Sometimes professors and advisors are really bad at emailing back. It may be that he didn't see it. Sometimes they get a lot of emails and things get pushed down. If it's been over 2 business days I'd try again or visit him in his office. I don't think it's that he doesn't care though and I bet he would be willing to discuss the anxiety with you as well.

I think emailing your counselor and asking about the depression's severity and self harm would be okay too. I think he'd want to know and since it is a concern of yours at this time he'd probably be willing to talk about it. Plus, emailing lets you get it out without any interruptions!

I hope this helps, you can do it!


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Re: Is it normal? - February 9th 2017, 05:59 AM

Hey Cass,

I actually went through the same situation when I was in therapy. I feel like the reason you're feeling depressed and triggered afterwards is because you're talking about things that make you depressed. So then you continue thinking about everything that's going on in your life for the rest of the day. That's also why you're probably noticing your triggers more now too is because you're thinking about it.

Try and think about something else when you're finished with your appointment. Try and think about happy things or maybe listen to music that might distract your thoughts.

I hope this will help.

Stay strong,

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stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”

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Re: Is it normal? - February 9th 2017, 06:23 AM

Don't worry, therapy will usually make you feel worse before you feel better, but for whatever reason, most professionals won't tell you that, so a lot of people quit when that happens, it's normal.

Email anxiety is totally a thing, at least for me! I always write out what I want to send and wait, mostly because I end up revising it multiple times first and I eventually made a rule for myself that I wouldn't send them anything after a certain time unless it was absolutely necessary because it would bug me all night.

One thing that I eventually realized when I was dealing with this, was that my level of anxiety had ZERO affect on how soon, (or how) someone else did something. During undergrad, I was trying to get my experiment approved and it had been rejected for a reason the professor told me wouldn't be an issue. He was gone for the day by the time this happened, so I emailed him immediately and started freaking out over it. Around 2AM as I was laying there awake, I realized that he was going to answer when he was going to answer, and it wasn't going to get solved in the middle of the night whether I stayed awake or not. He was sleeping like a baby, without a clue this was happening! I could either spend the rest of the night sleeping and deal with everything while I was well-rested, or I could stay awake all night, which wouldn't make him answer me any faster, and deal with it when I was already tired.

You can't control how he's going to react, if he decides not to deal with it the way you wish he would, you'll be able to handle it. When you tell these people these things is entirely up to you. Personally, I would wait unless it's something they absolutely NEED to know ASAP.

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Re: Is it normal? - February 9th 2017, 06:47 AM

Are you also working with a psychiatrist doctor?

My belief based on my personal experience is anyone who mentions self-harm must be so incredibly depressed that it has to be a medical problem, and talk therapy may not be enough to really tackle it. I still like talk therapy, but it never really helped me until I got the psychiatrist doctor and tried a bunch of different antidepressant medications until I found the one that worked for me.

For college, I wanted to take a reduced work load, due to my depression. I knew I needed to take one less class than the usual full load. At first the Dean said No, but then I explained my depression and he asked for a note from my doctor. (In the US a note from a doctor is like having a stone tablet carved by God.) I brought him a note, he glanced at it, probably didn't even read it, he just sealed it in the envelope and dropped it in my file and said OK I could take a reduced work load.

My anxiety was just a side effect of being incredibly depressed. Once I found the medication that fixed my depression, the anxiety went away too.

If your advisor hasn't replied to your email in a normal amount of time (who knows what that time frame is, a few days? a week?) then I think it's usually OK to follow-up with another email gently reminding him you're still waiting for a reply, just in case he forgot, or maybe he never received your email, or some other typical glitch.

If he's a good advisor who's been around a while he should understand about anxiety and depression and other disabilities; he's probably already encountered numerous other people with similar problems. It's very common in college. College age is often when these problems manifest themselves.

So I suggest find a psychiatrist doctor. The college may have a health center that may have one, since again college age is so common when these problems first manifest themselves. I also suggest continue talk therapy. I find it helpful to have someone to talk to when I'm struggling through hard times. I also find meditation helpful. Possibly yoga. But seriously what fixed me was the medication, which I never believed in, until I was talked into trying it, and it didn't work, and I tried another, and it didn't work, and I kept trying different ones, until I found the med that did work, and then I was astounded by how it slowly fixed me and I finally realized what the doctor had been telling me all along, that all those problems I thought were cased by school and life turned out to be a medical problem.

Best wishes! Keep hope that there is a cure and you won't have to live like this forever.
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Re: Is it normal? - February 11th 2017, 07:06 PM


Thank you for coming here for advice and support!

I can relate to this too. I know when I have sessions, occasionally it feels like I have had a weight lifted of my shoulders but a lot of the time, due to what is said and talked about in the session, it can be very difficult and leave me feeling emotionally drained and rather low.

Have you thought about doing something for yourself like pampering yourself or doing something you enjoy after sessions? Even if its something like mindfulness or relaxation or getting a bath or watching a film etc? It might help life your mood a little and make the rest of the day a little bit more bearable.

I hope we help you in some way. Keep fighting and remember you are never alone in any of this.

Hope and wishes,

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