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Struggling. - February 14th 2017, 05:03 PM

So, I've been under a lot of stress. I realized under my anxiety, was a lot of issues with depression and self-worth. It was almost like my anxiety was and is a bandage to hide that.

Most days I'm in a decent mood. But I do notice that I'm highly irritable now, like all of the time. I'm struggling to be able to concentrate on anything, which is bad for my classes. (I had to drop one class because it was too much). And my work in a second class has been turned in late. (which I don't believe he excepts late work, but I turned it in anyways, and tried to explain via e-mail that I've just had a lot on my plate and I would try harder). I'm also becoming a bit impulsive when it comes to money. When I'm stressed or depressed which is quite often now, I tend to like to shop because it calms me and one of my hobbies is fashion. But it's getting to the point where I'm going out once or twice a week and spending to much each time and it's slowly racking up.
,
I'm just struggling. Also, my counselor wanted me to share some of my depression/anxiety with my advisor. I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow and I have no idea what to say. He knows my diagnosis, I don't know what else to say. My counselor thinks I should let him know a little bit more about my triggers and why I tend to freak out when it comes to college and having him as an advisor but it feels like it doesn't really matter.

I don't know.
There's just a lot going on.
I'm trying to hold it all together and hopefully continue to get better and stronger.
But it can be super hard sometimes.
   
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Re: Struggling. - February 14th 2017, 06:13 PM

Hi Cass,

It's always hard to struggle in school especially when you have a mental disorder. Are you just diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression or is there a different diagnosis you have? I do recommend opening up to your support system more about how you're feeling and what you've been struggling with. That's really the only way they will be able to fully help you.

I know I ask everyone this, but do you take any medication? The reason I ask is because I believe that medication has saved my life and it's a huge part as to how I got to where I am today. Some people can do it on their own without medication, usually by using meditation or yoga, but that doesn't work for everyone.

I'm sure your teacher will understand why you were late handing in your assignment. If not maybe you can get your counselor to talk to him. When I was struggling I was able to hand in one of my assignments late. They had the same policy that they won't accept anything that's late.

When you meet with your advisor tomorrow, I recommend being 100% honest with him. He can't help you unless you tell him what's going on. I hope you do start finding some peace and that things work out for you. I know how hard it is to live in a world of depression. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

Stay Strong,
Brittany



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Re: Struggling. - February 15th 2017, 02:01 AM

My official diagnose is generalized anxiety/panic disorder. My counselor keeps talking to me about "depression," though, as I did suffer with depression fairly bad up until a few years ago.

I take medication for the anxiety and it typically helps, or it helps me function at the very least to that I can find ways to cope and typically live a meaningful life. It's that things are way stressful between school, work and everything else.

I wasn't about to talk to my professor today, as my anxiety really got the best of me. But I do have my meeting tomorrow with my advisor and I'm still trying to figure out what to say to him, I know that being 100% honest is key and will be helpful to both of us. So I'm hoping that I can just spit it out. I made a note card - but I still feel, scared, I guess.

I had a an old advisor who was pretty awful to me, and that gives me anxiety with the new one. Which is kind of the purpose of the meeting is for me to explain that, and so I can hopefully hear from him that he isn't like that and it's all in my head.

I don't my emotions just keep jumping around everywhere. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm irritable, then I'm sad, then I'm anxious, and it turns into the cycle that I really am stuck in at the moment. :/
   
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Re: Struggling. - February 15th 2017, 04:48 PM

Hi Cass,

Do you think you could go back to the person that gave you your anxiety/panic diagnosis and see if there's a possibility of another diagnosis that they might have missed somehow? It seems like there's more than just depression and anxiety going on.

You sort of sound like me with being fine, irritable, sad and then anxious that turns into a repeating circle. Now, I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist but I do believe that there is more, and if you guys can figure it out then there might be a chance that you can go on some medications that might help you feel better? I was diagnosed with BiPolar 1 Rapid Cycling, and once I got the diagnosis and on the right combination of medication I started feeling much better. Yes, I still get days when I'm down and days when I'm manic, but it's nowhere nearly as bad as it was.

You mentioned that you had a meeting with your advisor today, now I'm not sure if you have had that meeting yet or not, but if so, how did it go? If not I definitely recommend being 100% honest. I do hope that your new advisor is better than the one you used to see.

That's unfortunate that you got too much anxiety that you couldn't talk to your professor. Do you think you could email him instead? That might help with the anxiety.

Keep me updated,
Brittany



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Re: Struggling. - February 16th 2017, 12:20 AM

I've moved away from the area where I got my initial diagnose, so no I can't.
The only way most psychiatrists will see you in my area is if you are referred by either you doctor or counselor.

I used to be really good at managing my emotions, like this all recently started. So I'm kind of blaming the fact that school has me overly stressed which makes emotions jump around.

I was going to e-mail my counselor potentially about my depression be really bad these past few weeks, since my last appointment. Maybe I should mention the jumping around from being okay from one moment, to not being okay the next, to be fine, to not....I don't know.

I did have my meeting with my advisor and he's a lot better - he told me that his office is always a safe space and that if he's not in class, I could feel free to drop by and chat with him. I was mostly honest with him, I'm really hoping to be fully honest soon. I do want to meet with him on a regular basis but I'm afraid to ask, and I don't know if I should ask for once a week or bi-weekly. I e-mailed him after my meeting and told him that I forgot to mention something and he responded that we could chat after class on Friday, so I need to figure out how basically to tell him that with where I am with my anxiety/depression that I would like regular meetings to ensure that I'm doing okay. I've dropped out twice, I don't want to get so bad that I do that again. I think having a mixture of support is great, but I'm lacking in the mentor/professor relationship...
   
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Re: Struggling. - February 18th 2017, 05:36 AM

Sounds like the shopping could become an addiction problem.

I'm never sure what the definition of addiction is. (Am I addicted to air? Food? Water?)

I think the best explanation is when someone decides to stop, and the discovers they can't.

Best wishes. Does the college have any support groups for anxious depressed people? I know you're not the only one.

It's really great to find a group of people to belong to.

Maybe there's a yoga class, or meditation group. Tai-Chi, qi-gong group.

I do identify with the moods quickly jumping around a lot. That was a clue for me that the world couldn't possibly be changing this fast, it must be me.

I recall that mood jumping around smoothed out a bit after finding a medication that worked for me. I can control it a little better now. I force myself to not think about topics that really upset me. Or I'll designate a time to think about them, and afterwards I refuse to think any more about it until the next designated time. The idea only works half the time (my glass is half empty). But hey, it works half the time!

I like school and work -- it keeps my mind off the real world.
   
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