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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I'm Worthless - February 20th 2017, 12:47 PM

is there any point in life anymore...its only one mess up after another and i'm always in the middle of it. I feel worthless and a nuisance to the world and don't deserve to live. i'm pushed to the limit but try to hold on to see if there's a purpose but i don't see one. Suicide goes through my mind but i feel incapable of killing myself. i just want to get better but my depression is too much. I don't know why i'm even on here talking either. It's too much for me and i don't know how much longer i can hold on.

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Re: I'm Worthless - February 21st 2017, 05:08 AM

Hey, it's a shame that you are feeling like this when even from the brief moments I have seen you around, I know that you are so amazing.

Honestly, bad times are a fact of life. You are destined to have them, it's called being alive. Of course how bad those bad times actually are, are not the same for everyone and some people have it a lot worse and a lot better than others, but everyone still has bad points that sometimes we just don't how to handle. It isn't about how many bad things you have happen, it's what you then do with that. You can choose to admit defeat and say it's all too hard, or you can grow from it. Of course growing from these things can take ages, even years, but know that you can do it. However, just because there are bad times doesn't mean there aren't also good times. Remember in the bad times, that there have also been good time. It can be things you think are silly that can be the things you remember, I know when my dad left I would try and remember the moments that I did have fun with him, even one point when I went to a playground with him and for some reason, that was one of my happy memories. So it can be little things that you remember, as long as you hold on to the fact that despite the bad times, there are also good ones.

I know what it's like to be thinking about suicide, and really I'm still learning to get over those thoughts. It's a constant reminder, but I want you to know that no matter how bad things get, nothing is worth dying over. You can go through a lot and there are times when you don't think there is a point anymore, but there is always a point. I'm not going to do the stereotypical 'think of all the people that will miss you when you are gone' because yes, people will miss you when you are gone, some a lot more deeply than others, but that isn't the point. You don't live so other people can know you, you live for you. It's human nature to be selfish, it's only when we are trying to talk people out of suicide it suddenly turns into 'think of other people'. But when you are so low you are even contemplating it, that's one of the best possible times to be selfish. Think of all the things you can do while still alive, the people you can help and that good feeling you get afterwards, even little things like when you see a cute puppy can help. I don't know if you've looked at it, but there is a thread of Reasons to Live that might help.

When I was seeing a psychologist, she got me to write down all the happy memories I have, even the little ones. Maybe you could do that too? I found it did help to look at when I was upset and sometimes just remembering good points, or even awkward points from your childhood that are amusing when you look back on them can help. I had one memory where I got lost in a themepark and for some reason that was one of those memories I wrote down because it's now one of those amusing memories.

Depression can be annoying. It is one of those things where you just don't know if you're brain is being reasonable but it's going to tell you it is and you're going to believe it. A few days ago actually I was saying something and one of my friends said 'but why do you think that' and it actually made me think for the first time in ages about why I was thinking what I was. For example, if your depression is telling you that you are worthless, try and think about why you think that. Has anyone else ever told you that, or at least anyone that actually mattered? Have you ever done anything that would imply you are worthless? Most of the time, you'll find you can't find a reason that is actually reasonable. I'm gonna tell you now, there is nothing you can do that will make you worthless. One of the greatest things about people is that there is not one person that is worthless, we are all individual, unique and so special.

It's good you are talking. Keeping things to yourself can just make you feel like you're drowning even more, and we aren't people who are going to judge you for what you say. Is there anyone else you are able to talk to? School teachers (if you go to school), counsellors, family doctors, parents, friends, close family friends, or someone else from this list. Opening up is one of the first steps to being able to get better, of course sometimes other people trying to help doesn't work, but even just getting it into the open can help.

Finally, you can do this. You can keep fighting and live to see another day. You could write a reason to live on your arm every day so you never forget that there are reasons to stay. I just want you to know that you are important to people and I for one am glad that you haven't acted on any of those suicidal thoughts.

Take care.


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Re: I'm Worthless - February 21st 2017, 06:09 AM

It gets better.
   
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Re: I'm Worthless - February 21st 2017, 11:08 AM

thank you guys im feeling a bit better
   
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