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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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empty, help? - February 26th 2017, 05:58 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, I'm sorta stuck. Last year, I had a crush on a boy at drama, after I think he figured out my crush on him, he turned cold and nasty on me. I gave up drama and the thought of anyone liking me back. Because drama was gone, i had this tiny hole in my heart, but i ignored it. Then i felt out of place and i found it difficult to keep going to guitar classes, so i gave that up too. The hole got bigger, and because I'm homeschooled, I finished all my work for the year so i had nothing to do. I went into this shell, got super depressed and wanted to die. I went to the point where I was holding my mothers Codine in my hand, not even knowing howbit got there. Fast track to January this year and my father emailed me and my sister saying he efed off to Ukraine, and reading inbetween the lines we werent gonna get anymore grandma money from him, which i didnt really mind. He also told us that we wouldnt really be able to email him because the service in Ukraine isnt too good (well not in the army base he is in). That made the hole in my heart bigger, and me wanting to die more. My mum forced me into ballet, which i do enjoy (apart from my sis gloating that she finally got me to learn ballet, 8 year argument that was, and I lost misrably) and i also started going to the gym. These two temporarily filled the hole, but when im not at the gym im sad, and when im not dancing im sad, and now everyone keeps mentioning my old crush (from above) and im going into a downward spiral. What do i do to get me out of this hole? Or am i just a lost cause? Thank you
   
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Re: empty, help? - February 26th 2017, 09:03 PM

Homeschooled is hard! One misses out on the opportunity to make friends, and be surrounded with other people your age whom are potential friends and dates.

I can only say what I would want if I was in that situation. I would want to get involved in activities that would surround me with people my age.

Actually, also repetitive routine activities that surround me with the same people repeatedly. I think that relaxes the emotional part of my brain that wants to feel a part of a tribe, and without that connection with other people my primitive emotional brain gets unhappy and decides to make me feel bad. I think we're designed to naturally seek the safety of a tribe, as living alone in primitive times probably reduced our chance of survival.

So I'm always looking for activities that will get me out there, surround me with people, and are structured so I know what to do. (I don't fare well at parties where it's a free for all as I never know what to do, and small talk takes effort and does not come naturally to me.)

I check meetup.com, check for local volunteer opportunities, look for jobs, look for church groups, yoga groups, meditation groups, connection circles, Bible study groups, WRAP groups, team sports for uncoordinated non-sporty people, anything really. I haven't tried ballet yet but sounds like it would work if I think of it as an excuse to get together with people and do things together.

It's that feeling of togetherness, being a part of a group, that feeling of being accepted as a part of the group. That's what satisfies the primitive emotional part of my brain that can't talk but can only produce feelings. It tells me how unsatisfied it feels when I'm alone, even if I'm in a safe place and no longer live in caveman days. It still tells me something important is missing.
   
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Re: empty, help? - February 27th 2017, 01:54 AM

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough time right now. I know how hard and stressful they can be.

When I started getting extremely depressed I ended up dropping out of everything that I loved as well. I started to distance myself from everyone as well. I went through similar things to you, so again I understand where you're coming from.

Del has offered some great advice. All I can really add is to keep yourself busy with things that you love. For me I love animals and helping people. So I play with my pets and come online here! I find that it helps me most of the time.

Stay Strong,
Brittany



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Re: empty, help? - February 28th 2017, 11:59 PM

Hi There,

I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time.
It seems that you are feeling depressed for a mixture of reasons. Which all of them are totally understandable.
It always stinks when we have feelings for somebody and they don't return them, it's pretty harsh that this guy is now being mean towards you. I am truly sorry for that but please realize that's not about you, it's about his own insecurities that he's reacting the way he is. Confident and happy people would still treat you the same even if they didn't have feelings for you.

I understand that depression tends to suck the joy out of us. I too have dropped activities that I enjoyed because of depression and just not having the motivation to do it. Maybe share with a family member or friend and have them hold you accountable to going to these things. It seems like dance and the gym helps you, try filling up your day with different activities that you love and see if that helps get rid of some of these feelings.

With that being said, having things like hobbies is really good for you but don't use them as away of avoiding your feelings. You need to heal and in order to do that you're probably going to need to talk to people about what is going on in your life. I always suggest that people have a mixture of support: friends/family, mentors (teachers, pastors, professors, coaches, etc.,) and a counselor/therapist. This is typically the best way to combat depression. So I would make sure you at least have one in each category to chat with. It's okay if you don't, but I would make a list of people you would feel okay opening up to and slowly start reaching out. Talking is really a form of healing and it helps you realize that you are completely worth it, and worth this life.

If you are suicidal I would urge you to seek help immediately. Talk to an adult, go to the local hospital, call your emergency number, or use a crisis hotline. These are all tools that will help you. You can also always talk to any of us, we are always here. Remember that your life is worth it, YOU are worth it. Feel free to private message me if you want someone to chat with. <3
   
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