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Natalie27 Offline
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Unhappy Lying about Feelings - March 7th 2017, 06:15 AM

I've been seeing a youth counsellor at my school on a weekly basis since February last year ever since my grandfather took his own life. I've been through 3 events of grief through my schooling and this most recent one has been the hardest. Grief got real difficult for me at once stage and I started harming so I speak to this guy like my own dad when I feel disconnected to him at homeMy counsellor outside of school FINALLY understood after a year of appts only recently that coping strategies really haven't been working. I don't see her all that often but more so that I attend school 5 days a week I see this youth counsellor often. The thing is, I may have got my wish that people are finally understanding but I'm still coming across as the most happiest and joyful person around at school and elsewhere and I'm not sure if I'm liking it. I'm basically lying to my school supports that everything is sure fine but in the inside by heart is aching and I'm tired of trying for everything. Now, I see this youth counsellor quite often so I no longer know what to say or do to get across how I'm feeling This guy is real genuine and I can talk to him about anything so please help! Thanks.
   
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Re: Lying about Feelings - March 7th 2017, 09:24 AM

I just want to say I glad he has helped you so much and I sure he knows how grateful you are
   
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Re: Lying about Feelings - March 7th 2017, 07:34 PM

Hey Nat,

I think it is really go that you are seeing someone at your school to get help.

You are not alone in hiding your true feelings a lot of people do this, including myself. I feel like the best way to not lie about your true feelings is talking about how you really feel. Even if you hide the true you to everyone else but tell this person the truth it would help a lot.

I know that for me I am so used to hiding the true me that I don't even think about it anymore I just do it. One thing to do is try and pull down the mask a little bit at a time. Take it day by day so like one day instead of pretending to be happy and having a fake smile on maybe you don't smile and just let your face do natural things. If people ask if your okay you can still tell them your fine just know that you made a change by not smiling. Or maybe one day instead of answering every how are you with fine or good, say I could be better, or i am so so, something like that. Then if they ask you to explain you can explain or tell them you don't really feel like talking about it. Or you can even tell them when they ask you how you are you could say I don't feel like talking about it.

Tiny little steps to showing the true you could really help you come out of your shell. It takes a lot of practice. I honestly am still working on it. There is a couple of people at my college that I let see me breakdown or not happy and I talk to them. I think as long as you have someone you can show the real you too, then hiding your true self to other people isn't really a big problem.

I really hope this has helped a little bit. If you ever need someone to talk to, need to vent, need someone to listen, or just want to strike up a friendly conversation, my PM/VM is always open.

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