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Slowly slipping. - March 7th 2017, 05:57 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I have noticed that my mood has stayed in one place since I started this semester of college. But as of two weeks ago I can feel myself slipping downwards. I have just noticed little things I am doing that show I am slipping.

I have been sleeping a lot more than normal. I usually wake up at 6am and go to bed around 10-11pm. Well as of lately I have been going to bed around 9-10 but still trying to wake up at the same time, but sometimes I'll sleep in til 6:45.

I have noticed my need for cutting has gotten stronger. Before it was non-existen and I went 6 weeks without cutting, i was still picking my scabs and scratching my skin some but it wasn't a lot. Now I think about cutting daily and not just making line after line, i think about negative words to cut into my skin. I hate it so damn much.

I am thinking maybe I should email my therapist and tell her this, but then i don't want to bug her either.

I just hate how even though I was sad I was still doing really good, but now I am slipping it just sucks.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: Slowly slipping. - March 7th 2017, 09:40 PM

Hi, Essa!

Recognizing these signs is very positive actually. It shows you are aware, and when you do notice you reach out. Well done on that front! I'm sorry that you do feel yourself slipping though. I imagine it is difficult for you right now. That's what I'm really glad you reached out. When you begin feeling low it can cause a lack of motivation and end up causing you to oversleep as well as developing urges to self-harm. Oversleeping can actually cause you to feel worse because routine and a healthy amount of sleep (not too little, not too much) can help you feel better. Perhaps you could set the alarm and try your best to get up at that time? You could fill the time you'd normally be sleeping in with an act of self-care. You could take a quick bath, use lotion, spend time with a pet, enjoy a snack etc. Anything that lifts your mood and allows you to relax before you start your day.

When you go a long period of time without self-harm after depending on it, the urges can worsen after a long while and it can be really upsetting when you're making progress. But I want to say that 6 weeks is amazing and I'm really proud of you. What may help is thinking of the past, how it was sometimes difficult to go even a few days. Think about how far you've come, you know? I hope you don't relapse but if you do, it won't change the strength and dedication to recovery that you've already shown. That progress won't be wiped away because those 6 weeks will always matter because it was 6 weeks self-harm free which is a victory.

Emailing your therapist is a good idea. I very highly doubt you will be bugging her. Your therapist is there to listen and help you when you're struggling so I encourage you to email her. You deserve to help help with this. Is there anyone at college you can speak to? If I remember, there was a lady there that was very helpful to you that you felt comfortable with.

You were doing amazingly and I feel like you still are. Rather than slipping into this, you are reaching out instead which is very positive. I believe that you've made a whole lot of progress and that this is only a rough patch. Everyone goes through this during recovery because I don't think the process of recovery ever goes completely smooth. It is a process and it takes time. What is important is that you continue trying. I see how important this is for you and how well you've done lately. I believe you can pull through this and you don't have to do so alone. There are many people including me who will be happy to help you, even if it's simply listening.

Say your username in your mind; "I believe in me" and remember we believe in you too. Take care and keep holding on. One day at a time, one step at a time. You've got this.
   
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Re: Slowly slipping. - March 7th 2017, 09:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala View Post

Is there anyone at college you can speak to? If I remember, there was a lady there that was very helpful to you that you felt comfortable with.

Yeah, I can talk to Brittany. I do that a lot but she isn't a therapist of anything. I honestly just tell her things that I really don't want other people to know and I get advice from her. She is the one that told me I should email my therapist so we can stop this cycle before it gets way out of hand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala View Post

I see how important this is for you and how well you've done lately. I believe you can pull through this and you don't have to do so alone. There are many people including me who will be happy to help you, even if it's simply listening.
It just feels like I am failing because I was doing really good even though I am usually always sad, I was really depressed if that makes sense. Thank you for willing to help me, I also know there are other people on here are willing to help. It just sucks sometimes because when i need the help people might now be on and so i can get the help I need in that moment. I mean I do have some peoples numbers but I feel like that would be bugging them if I texted them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala View Post

Say your username in your mind; "I believe in me" and remember we believe in you too. Take care and keep holding on. One day at a time, one step at a time. You've got this.
Yeah I never have believed in myself. I used that username because I want to start believing in myself. I also wanted a positive username.

I know it is one day at a time, sometimes it feels like I have to go one minute at a time and even one second at a time some days. It just gets exhausting


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|
|PM/VM|


   
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