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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Notsure Offline
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Trapped - March 13th 2017, 08:19 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Usually i don't post here, as i usually don't find it helpful, but i don't feel i have anyone else to talk to. I've been feeling really low. Not suicidal though, haven't felt like killing my self since my last suicide attempt. I have thought about it, though.

I really struggle to do school work, and exams are coming up. There's no chance of me studying for exams in my free time, and i think i might fail my exams, due to not feeling like doing them. Heck, when i have to do an 8 mark question in class, it makes me feel really down, and i don't feel like doing it at all. What am i going to do when i have three 24 mark questions in one exam paper? I'm perfectly capable intellectually of getting high grades, i just don't feel like doing anything.

I've also been really dissociated recently. Nothing feels real, stuff feels 2D, blah blah. Derealisation.

I have no idea how to get better. I'm already on medication that works, or at least used to work. I detest my family and want nothing to do with them, so talking to them isn't an option. I don't have a therapist, my therapist left ages ago and they still haven't replaced her. I wont talk to a teacher, they'd have to tell anything i say to my parents. I have no close friends. Either way, i certainly wont get better before exams, i just hope i can be bothered to do them.
   
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Re: Trapped - March 13th 2017, 09:10 PM

Dear Sam,
It's especially sad for me to read what you've written since I'm in a similar situation and can totally relate. I also get it that you don't wanna talk to your parents.
Try to find motivation. I believe that with a proper motivation one can always push themselves to achieve what they aim for. Would that be a possibility of further education? If not, think of it as something that you yourself want to achieve and how good results of the exams will make you feel better. You're not doing this for anyone else, it's only for you.
Believe me, I understand how you feel and how hard it is to stay concentrated and focused on schoolwork. However, it's not for eternity, it's an effort just until the exams. Feeling down in general can be demotivating, so try to focus on happy things.
I'm sorry that you are struggling. I hope I helped a tiny bit and if you'd ever like to talk, I'm always willing to do so.
Have a great day,
Sue


Nada es verdad, todo está permitido
   
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Re: Trapped - March 14th 2017, 05:25 PM

Hi Sam,

I am sorry this forum is typically helpful to you, but I hope that we can help with this issue that you are having.

I totally get not have the motivation to do the work that needs to get done. It happens to me a lot, as it typically will overwhelm me to the point where I just ignore it. What seems to help me is if I put on a timer and do a little bit of work and when the timer goes off, I do something I enjoy for about 15 minutes, and then do some more work. I don't know if that is an option for you at all.

Sometimes are medications stop working and they need to be tweeked. Can you at least see you doctor and ask about it? I'm not sure how it works where you're from but you should be able to talk to your doctor without them talking to your parents. You could also mention to your doctor the need for a therapist, maybe they could help you find a replacement, as I think that would be very important for you.

I'm sorry that you feel that way about your family, if you ever want to talk about why, feel free to open up about it to us, so maybe we could better help you and understand where you are coming from.

I get not wanting to talk to a teacher. Do they have to tell if you just tell them you are overwhelmed? Where I'm from the only time teachers have had to tell parents is when you are harming yourself or have a plan too. So technically you would be able to chat with them about everything but that. That's up to you though if you want to take that chance or not.

I really am sorry that you are going through this. I know the dissociation stinks. If you ever just want to talk, feel free to message me.
   
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Re: Trapped - March 14th 2017, 07:57 PM

Thank you for the replies.

I plan to go to college (already been accepted into the one i want to go to) and then university.

I don't think the timer thing will work for me.

I'd be able to talk to my psychiatrist without my parents, but i'd need to ask to talk to him alone, and my parents will likely question me about it afterwards.

I have no emotional attachment to my family, not completely sure why i don't have the natural family bond. They're a nice, normal family. But i dislike them. Probably because i don't want their emotional support, but they try to give it to me anyway. We also have no similar interests and i'm an extremely private person, so we have nothing to talk about. Moreover, i find them very annoying.

I think if i just tell the teacher i'm overwhelmed, it'd be fine. Maybe i'll try that.
   
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Re: Trapped - March 15th 2017, 11:30 PM

It will get better.. hang in there..... I know that im not one to give emotional support seeing as i'm in extreme need of it.. but.. yeah.

You can always rant to me..


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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