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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Thinking Offline
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Triggers... - April 5th 2017, 08:53 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I tried. I have tried. Today I reactivate Facebook again and the only message I saw was my classmates discussing about exams in a group chat. I tried. First I completely hate group chats, but I try to read it.

Dammit I saw the word kill myself. Someone is saying about [Edited] Of course I am worried, so I read the whole thing. Turns out that he was just kidding. He is making fun of killing himself for doing badly in exams. I even PMed him because I am worried but he was surprised to see my reply since he was just joking.

I am so pissed off right now. I deactivated it again. How on earth people make such triggering jokes... I don't even know what to feel anymore. Is ending one's life a joke?! Anyway he is not my friend so I am not obliged to care about him, when clearly he didn't put in effort during classes and now making such horrible jokes. I know he had a choice but he choose to not listen in class.

I shouldn't have tried. Most people are "nice" but not nice at all. I don't like them. There is no hope in making friends with them. They are bad people.

Or maybe its me who is horrible and I cannot stand them. That's why I have no friends. I try not to feel as bad I did few days ago.


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.

Last edited by .Brittany.; April 6th 2017 at 09:23 PM. Reason: Removing Suicide Method
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Re: Triggers... - April 5th 2017, 11:27 AM

There are nice people like yourself out there.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Triggers... - April 5th 2017, 07:23 PM

Hi,
To be honest it's common at my school as well. Today someone made a 'joke' about jumping out of the window and killing themselves because of a test. And recently my best friend asked another guy, laughing, why he self-harmed, because that guy had a scar on his wrist that was clearly an accidental cut. It hurt me even more because that was my friend who joked around like that.
What I think you should do in situations like that is not laugh at the 'joke'. It would be great to gather the courage to tell someone it's not funny and that they shouldn't laugh at it, but I understand you might be afraid of being called stiff or something. So don't force yourself to laugh at it just to fit into the group... but from what you're saying I guess you wouldn't do that anyway.
And I don't think you should judge them by these jokes. I am not trying to justify them by any means, but there might be a few reasons for their behaviour. First, a very mundane one, is that they may want to simply impress the group. Everyone would like to have the group's approval or respect and some people, who don't have better ideas, choose to earn these by stupid jokes or acts.
Another possibility (and a very probable one) is that they don't understand what it actually means to kill or harm oneself - and you shouldn't blame them for that. Someone who has never experienced knowing a person that killed themselves or has never had contact with depression shouldn't be expected to understand those. However, it does not mean they are excused from having respect and trying to understand.
Ivan, I get that their behaviour might be very upsetting for you, but don't forget they're people and they make mistakes - and it is our, the ones' that have been through rough times, role to help them understand. Is there one particular person in the group that tends to joke around about suicide (maybe the one you messaged)? If there is, why not talk to them calmly and reasonably about how you wouldn't like them to do so? I believe talking to them privately instead of doing it in front of the group is crucial since they might take it lightly or even contemptuously in the presence of others.
You wouldn't lose anything by this, and you might help someone.

I hope this helped a bit. Make sure you keep us up-to-date with the situation.
Take care!
Sue


Nada es verdad, todo está permitido
   
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Re: Triggers... - April 6th 2017, 09:48 PM

Hi there, Ivan!

The fact that you reactivated Facebook to socialize with friends and classmates is a big step if you have been isolating yourself. I know an upsetting experience followed that action, but you should be proud of yourself for taking that step to reach out.

Sadly, casual statements and jokes regarding suicide among other struggles is common even though it should be taken seriously. When one is speaking of a negative experience, such as negative results on an exam, they may perceive that it is okay to go too far in expressing their disappointment by making a graphic verbal depiction. Even though he was simply joking, it could potentially concern, trigger or give others ideas who truly are battling thoughts of suicide. Thankfully there are still many people who realize that suicide is not a joke and shouldn't be taken lightly. You have genuine concern and I hope you maintain that, knowing there are people that are not joking. I am sure many people who truly are struggling will appreciate the concern straight from your heart.

As for your classmate, you are correct in that you have no obligation to pay any attention to him from here on as he apparently did not pay much attention in class. If he is having issues learning I hope he is able to obtain a tutor. And I surely do hope he realizes that his words can have consequences, even if those consequences are not right in front of him because words can affect many. There is one course of action, but only if you are comfortable with it; you can send this classmate a message carefully and politely explaining you are aware, and sorry to hear his exams didn't go well but that making jokes revolving around suicide shouldn't be taken lightly because there could be many people around us who are secretly battling suicide, and may be easily triggered. Again, you aren't obligated to say anything further, this is only if you wish to hopefully raise more awareness to him. If you decide to do so, I understand you are angry but it is best to keep it polite and respectful for the maximum effectiveness of your message.

You're not a horrible person at all, Ivan. The simple fact that you believed someone was dealing with suicidal thoughts and you immediately reached out to them in an effort to help them shows you're a good person with a big heart. I have no doubt that you've already helped many people you have come across, especially after seeing many of your posts here on TeenHelp. I can see that you genuinely care.

Considering the negative experience you came across upon reactivating Facebook would understandably discourage you, but I do hope you continue reaching out to people elsewhere to make friends with others. Taking steps towards potential positive changes in your life is always worth a try but there's always that possibility of running into discouragement. I believe it's worth a try, and worth it to continue trying taking it one day at a time. There are genuine people out there who are kind, and my hope is that we can reach the hearts of those that aren't so kind to inspire them to add positivity and kindness to the world rather than the opposite.

Make sure you take care of yourself, Ivan. Be kind to yourself and stay strong. I hope you feel better soon, and of course you can message me anytime.
   
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