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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 11th 2017, 05:50 AM

Life after I lost her... has been absolutely unbearable.

I don't know what to do... any more.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 11th 2017, 06:47 AM

Have you contacted Hospice to get a counselor? They offer free counseling to anyone who's lost someone special.

Also you seem so depressed have you talked with your doctor or a psychiatrist doctor about this? Depression this deep for this long and wanting to just die is a sure sign this has progressed into a medical illness, which fortunately can be treated with medication. It's at least worth a try. The medication will either do nothing, or it will cause a side effect (in which case stop taking it and notify the doctor), or if you are lucky and it's a med that works for you, the depression will slowly lift, life becomes bearable again, the depression continues to slowly lift, eventually working becomes possible again, and eventually hopefully you'll feel more "normal" than ever before, and all the other suggestions people give becomes possible to do.

(If the medication does nothing, then ask the doctor to try another one. There are many different ones to try. It can be a guessing game. Eventually one gets lucky and finds a med that works.)

It's also good to have someone to talk to. Someone who knows how to listen, and doesn't mind listening to your story. Counselors, pastors, religious leaders, there are people who love doing this. There may be a Mental Wellness organization in your area, with some structured support groups for depression. Sometimes being around other people, getting to know them, being able to tell them your story, can be helpful.

And you can always come here. We're all good at supporting one another!
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 11th 2017, 08:36 AM

Thanks. But the truth is.. I didn't have anyone like her.. growing up. But i want the happiness I once had with her.

Now.. each day feels empty.

I have no determination ,no willpower.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 11th 2017, 10:49 PM

I think you need to see a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, and any combination there of. I know you're suffering a lot because you're friend isn't in your life any more and you feel like you can't fix it, but I've noticed that all of your posts for months have been about this and I am concerned about the fact that your haven't been able to find a way to process the loss and begin healing. Yes, we all grieve differently, but wanting to die because you're so depressed by this loss is something that you really need to address because that response is a very unhealthy one and it's one that you shouldn't have to keep living with just hoping it'll go away or just hoping one day a new friend will be plopped into your lap.

There are so many other things you can do to help relieve the depression in the mean time. So please think about seeing a mental health professional asap.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 12th 2017, 04:03 AM

Thanks for the advice.

Its true that I didn't have someone like her growing up, and that how strict my mom was only added to the emptiness I felt.

I should probably take your advice. Its getting very painful...

I hope that she returns ...


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.

Last edited by Green Yoshi; April 12th 2017 at 04:29 AM.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 02:51 AM

You can do this. If you need me anything you know where I am, okay?

I am here, so does everyone else here. We will try all we can to help you, because you deserve hope and care!

You might have gave up on life, but we are not giving up on you, never.


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 04:25 AM

Thanks.

Well.. Ivan, you said it right. I have kinda given up on it..

It is extremely tough.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 06:56 AM

feel free to pm me, maybe i could help you by some advices or whatsoever
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 07:25 AM

I will.. thanks..


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 08:20 AM

YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS! I told you, i will be here everyday reminding you that you can do this and many people care about you!
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 12:12 PM

I'm doing my best rose But its very tough, and that.. i don't see much reason to fight. But I'm trying my best.. I just don't know why I try anymore.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 07:28 PM

I miss "her" too. Used to wake up happy to see the light of the day, just because I know I will see her.
   
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 09:46 PM

I miss all the "her" I have lost because I screwed things up. But the thing is, I can look back on the good times and wish the "her" all the best for their futures. Do I hope that I will come across them many years from now? Maybe, but that would only be because of two things:
1) Social media makes the world around us, complete strangers, even more constricted. At some point, we all will be connected via friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and so on forth.
2) A major life change involving a move. For instance, I had this friend... we'll call her C. Anyways, C lives in Norway and I would have to move four thousand miles away or she move to my city for us even a remote chance to run into one another. But that would seem, as C put it last year, sketchy.

I'm not saying this to be mean. But at some point, we need to come to the realization that pining and longing is unhealthy. The best thing for ourselves is to let go and see if fate will ever deal the hand where we cross that person's path again. But we cannot rely on fate, we have to go on with our lives.

It'll be hard at first, but it can be done. Go outside for a walk, join a community organization, volunteer, go to the coffee shop and strike up a conversation with the barista. These tiny insignificant things could turn into making friends with one, two, five, ten, twenty different people. Before you know it, the "her" in your life will only resurface at the odd moment.

Like I haven't thought of C in weeks until today. I was at work and Chrome, for some reason, thought the text was in Norwegian and it asked me if I wanted to translate it into English. It used to be every single aspect of Norway reminded me of C, but now it's just like "oh". I did need to take a bathroom break to sort my thoughts, and then C was gone as soon as I returned to my seat.

It takes time and the length to get over the memory of that person gets quicker as time goes by.

   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I go out alone.. everywhere .. these days. - April 18th 2017, 09:52 PM

The problem is... Jenna, I don't have anyone around her in my life...

Its been like 8 months, and the truth is that its only gotten worse day by day. Those who know me will know that .... I have been up to some things that aren't good.

.... I'll also message you later and tell you how bad it is.. thanks for caring.

Paxvan: I hope that she returns for you. You deserve happiness more than me.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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