I'm sorry, it seems like you're feeling pretty stuck right now. Sometimes life can make it seem like theres nothing more you can do to solve a problem and that's ok because I think everyone gets like that sometimes. I want to remind you that there are unlimited ways to fix every problem life throws at us and as tiring as it is to keep trying to find the one that works, you must carry on. I can see that things are particularly hard for you right now, but you're still here. You say you want to die, but you haven't. You're still going, you're still strong. You're absolutely capable of getting through this.
Are you speaking to anyone outside of TH at the moment? It doesn't have to be a therapist, but a friend or trusted family member can make the world of difference when you feel stuck. People have individual views on things and someone else may think of something you couldn't see that could help you. Alternatively, just talking can make you feel liberated because the thoughts are no longer stuck in your own head so it's a weight off. Feeling alone is the worst thing you can do so I really encourage you to find a person you trust and talk to them when things are getting you down.
If there is ever a time you can't find someone, you can try getting some fresh air or putting your thoughts down another way. Try writing something, for example. A diary, or a poem or story can be really helpful for lots of people. If you're more artistic you could try drawing your feelings, or making something out of paper/card that depicts how you feel so that it's no longer trapped inside you.
You CAN do this. No matter what your own thoughts are telling you, you've done it up until now, so you can keep doing it. It really isn't easy, but that shouldn't mean you give up. You're young and there are many years to face which will bring both challenges and joy, so please don't give up. I see you on this site so much and you're a really wonderful person, so you deserve to keep going. You deserve to find something that will help, so please keep trying.
I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down and depressed about life lately. I wish there was more that I can do to help you feel a bit better.
You've always offered other people support, and I know just how hard it is to listen to your own advice, however, you need to start listening to yourself. If you're telling someone else to not hurt themselves or to continue fighting, there must be a reason behind why you're saying that. That reason should work towards you as well. For example "you have a bright future to look forward to". Well, so do you Ivan.
Just keep pushing. Keep your head up. You can, and will get through this.
“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”
HelpLINK Mentor | Live Help Mentor | Article Editor
Forum & Chat Moderator
@Hollie, I know, I will keep going. I know I am strong that I can get through these moments for so many times as always before. But really... I dont know what I can do anymore... It takes more time, even decades to figure that out. But I will try, as always.
@Yoshi, thanks. I know you are having a bad time too, but remember, we are always here and you can be better. Keep fighting, okay?
@Brittany, what you said is true. I am keep fighting and thinking of how I can sort all these out. Its just sometimes I am weak, and I feel bad. But its sad that none of my advice can help in solving my problems. But I do read my own advices and it helped a bit tbh. And also.. it wasnt just being sad lately.. I was just trying to write how I felt about life all these while. But its okay, its not always that bad, since they are still here and I can still be happy
@del677, I did read that link before. It does help me mentally and make me felt much better. The problems are real problems to be solved though. But I understand; having a right mind will often produce better solutions. I will keep trying.
Go to a random person, ask him/her "How are you?", "Are you okay?", or "Nice to meet you!".
You will never overestimate how big these impacts are, as you are saving a soul from darkness.