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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheAtomicBlade Offline
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Do I deserve it? - April 26th 2017, 05:42 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey,
So I've been wondering if I deserve any kindness or love or anything. According to my mum I yell at her too much (normally after she gets snappy at me and some other stuff). I am a crap friend, who is just clingy and useless. Plus, I have ADHD so I'm jittery and not able to focus. Throw in that my grades are average and hey, there I am. So it just feels like I shouldn't have any love or kindness given to me.
I really don't know what to do. Every time anyone is nice to me I get too clingy or something. I'm trying to work on it and people have told me Im getting better at it, but IDK, sometimes when I'm stressed I just snap.
I'm actually always wondering if I deserve to be loved, or have any kindness given to me, or if I should like just be a freak by himself.
Really I don't know what I'm asking for here if I'm honest.
Sorry for throwing this out, don't mean to be a downer or anything.
Thanks for reading


PM me if you ever wanna talk. Send a message my way.
And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

May The Force be With You.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Do I deserve it? - April 26th 2017, 08:37 AM

Crap friends don't come on here.. and crap friends don't have pink usernames.

I do think that you're someone who has been deprived of love .. and that you have been sad for a long time.. but that only means that you deserve it more.

I'm clingy too, but for some reason you keep telling me that I'm ... more than okay person. Try to be nice to yourself too.

You are a blessing, and I know that you will make a lot of people happy in your future, and that you deserve happiness yourself.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do I deserve it? - April 26th 2017, 09:47 PM

Hi, Tortellini!

Yes, of course you deserve kindness, love and positive things in your life; we all do.

When we're already feeling quite low, and someone is being snappy towards us it is normal to react by yelling. Yelling isn't an effective way to handle conflict. This doesn't make you a bad person, we all have found ourselves reacting this way towards someone at some point. Have you tried talking to your mom about what upsets you? Apologizing to her about yelling, and letting her know what bothers you could help resolve issues effectively.

Tortellini, I can't possibly see you being a bad friend, nor a useless friend. We don't talk often, but I see what a kind person you are. I've gotten a few VMs from you and I've seen you posting to other people's VM pages with kind messages. I can tell that you are caring and encouraging. You lift up those around you and that's always a positive thing, and a good sign that you're a good friend. One kind word can completely change someone's day for the better, so you never know how much you may impact someone that you offer kind words to. You're nowhere near a useless friend.

Have you spoken to anyone regarding your ADHD to seek medication to help you focus? Considering you deal with ADHD yet you still have average grades is impressive. Grades can certainly suffer when it becomes difficult to focus so I bet you are doing a lot better than you think. You shouldn't feel like a freak, you're such a kind person who is doing the best he can do. And that's pretty gosh darn good considering what you go through. We all find ourselves becoming clingy at times. When life is difficult it's easy to become easily attached to someone who's offering us kindness in an otherwise dark day. I've found myself becoming clingy at times too.

It's okay to not know exactly what you are asking for. Sometimes it can help just to open up about what you're feeling and thinking, as well as talking about what's going on in your life. You're always welcome to do so even if you aren't sure what you're asking, okay? Additionally, you don't have to apologize for posting this either because you surely aren't a downer. We're here to listen and help if we can. I believe you deserve kindness, and that everyone does.

Hope this helped! Take care and feel free to message me anytime if you need anything.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do I deserve it? - April 27th 2017, 04:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aguy View Post
Hey,
So I've been wondering if I deserve any kindness or love or anything. According to my mum I yell at her too much (normally after she gets snappy at me and some other stuff). I am a crap friend, who is just clingy and useless. Plus, I have ADHD so I'm jittery and not able to focus. Throw in that my grades are average and hey, there I am. So it just feels like I shouldn't have any love or kindness given to me.
I really don't know what to do. Every time anyone is nice to me I get too clingy or something. I'm trying to work on it and people have told me Im getting better at it, but IDK, sometimes when I'm stressed I just snap.
I'm actually always wondering if I deserve to be loved, or have any kindness given to me, or if I should like just be a freak by himself.
Really I don't know what I'm asking for here if I'm honest.
Sorry for throwing this out, don't mean to be a downer or anything.
Thanks for reading
Don't be too harsh on yourself. Everybody deserves to be loved and cared. Everyone has flaws and shortcomings not just you remember that.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Thinking Offline
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Re: Do I deserve it? - April 28th 2017, 03:07 PM

Hello my dear friend Tort! Didn't you realize you are an absolutely amazing person who deserves all the good things in your life?

You deserve love and care. You really do. Please don't say otherwise. Remember, you deserve none of the bad things in your life, and you deserve all the good things you have received. Because you deserve happiness, not sadness.

I know sometimes you dont want to be a clingy friend, but I want to let you know that its perfectly fine to be clingy. In fact, its BETTER to be clingy sometimes. It makes you feel safer towards your friend. Of course, though, you should choose to be clingy on close friends whom you can trust, not anyone who may not understand you well and hurt you back.

Tort, I want to assure you that you had been a great friend to me. I know sometimes you can't help me much, but all the suggestions and kind words you gave me, I saw all of it. You are a person with a rare golden heart who definitely, definitely deserve the best things in the world. Not just me, look at all the encouraging words you sent to others! I wish I can collect them for you, and tell you back the same thing. You matters. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Dont forget that. You really have no idea how good it feels like to read those uplifting words, especially when having a horrible day. It brights up my day. You are amazing, stay that way!

And its okay if you think you dont deserve love and care for now. Its okay. We will keep giving you love and care. I am sure you will realize one day that you are amazing, and definitely deserve all the kindness you have. Being clingy do not mean that you dont deserve friends. In fact these type of people need, and deserve best friends who will understand them and care for them. I know one day someone will realize that you have a golden heart, and no one will ever mind that you are clingy. Because they know everyone are vulnerable and they need emotional supports at times. Remember, being clingy is good, as long as you do it on people whom you trust, okay? Dont let bad people to say otherwise and hurt you more!

And that would mean that you can be clingy to any of us, and we will never judge you on that matter at all. As for me, if you need me on anything, I am more than glad to help you. You are not a freak. I know you are not. You didnt make any of us down. You may think that you are clingy to write this on the forums, but let me tell you that this only make us understand more about your struggles, and its never a bad thing. Because we will always be here to help and encourage you for a happy future. You can definitely trust any of us with your problems. We are happy to help, why? Because we really feel happy to see you are happy again, and we would do all we can to make you happy.

You deserve love and care. All of us love and care for you.

If you need me to rant or talk, I am always here. Dont even think whether you are clingy or not, because it doesn't matter to me at all!


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.

Last edited by Thinking; April 29th 2017 at 04:42 AM.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Do I deserve it? - April 29th 2017, 05:39 PM

Of course you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, Tort! I snap at my mum when she's being a bit of a bitch, but I think that gives us a sense of power. There is a right way and wrong way to talk back and get our parents to see straight, but that doesn't make you a bad person for snapping at her. I have the same problem when it comes to friends, or it was more severe in the past. I would get extremely clingy, almost to the point of being obsessive. It's important to find other things that interest you away from people, give yourself a sense of purpose.

You are awesome, Tort!
   
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