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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
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Not myself - May 8th 2017, 08:17 PM

I was given terrible news and now I am hurting so much and it has to be ok. I'm crying and depressed, why do we get bad news. I don't know how to make this pain I'm in go away. Why do terrible things happen, and it puts us in this pain and what do you do with it , how do you control it or make it go away. It has to be ok. I don't know how much more terrible news I can take, please make it stop. First my dad and now this, I just want to be ok and happy, not depressed like before.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 8th 2017, 08:55 PM

Hey Emma,

I'm sorry to hear you've had some upsetting news. I don't know what the news was but I know how it feels to be told something that hurts so bad you can't see a way past it. From my experience, I found that the best way to get through something as devastating as that was to surround myself with people who really understood what I was going through. I don't know if what you've been told is being shared by someone else, but if it is, you could turn to them for support, either by asking them for help, taking to them about it, or doing something which takes your mind off of it completely. You could try going out for a walk with someone, maybe take a camera or a sketch book and focus on something like developing a skill or creating something out of the way you're feeling. Distractions can be a really useful tool in making the horrible feelings of depression go away for a bit.

If you have nobody you feel you can talk to about it, you could try just being around people who don't know or aren't going through this just so that you're not alone with your thoughts too much. Go out for a coffee or get together and see a film with some family or friends. It won't make the bad news go away, but it might help you see some light.

Is there anyone else you might be able to talk to about this? A therapist or a teacher you trust? They may not necessarily be able to make you happy again, or even take away the hurting, but if you share it with someone, the weight of it all gets less and less. Take each day as it comes because when things are hard I think that's all you can do, and that's ok! Each day is a step forward. It's a day further away from being told the thing that hurt you and so, therefore, a step towards feeling a little bit better. You can learn to cope with things by keeping busy or doing something you enjoy, and hopefully those things will help give you some normality and help you feel a little bit better in time.

Of course i you need anything, this site is here too! Maybe pop into the chatroom at some point and have a conversation with some new people! Or see what games there are going in the forums. Keep occupied and do things which make you feel at ease.

Take care.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 8th 2017, 09:07 PM

Hey Emma,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling with a bunch of bad news. I definitely know how hard it is to get bad news as I've gone through that multiple times.

The way I think about it, is that there wont always be bad news. There will eventually be something good that will happen.

We are all here for you if you need anything at all. Keep your head up.



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not myself - May 10th 2017, 02:05 PM

Emma, what happened? I can tell something really bad must have happened... I am so sorry

I understand it can be hard to open up at the moment, but I do hope you will after sometime. If it is making you terribly sad like now, its a good idea to tell someone about it instead of bottling it up!

>> I was given terrible news and now I am hurting so much

- I am truly sorry for that, it must be very painful for you. No matter how you dont want it, bad things do happen in our lives. Everyone. And it can make us feel very sad and depressed, but you have to get through this! The bad news is capable of making you sad right now, but not forever. You are stronger than the terrible news and you will get over it, no matter how terrible it is, okay? You have your family member's support, and us here.

>> how do you control it or make it go away

- I wish I can take your pain away from you. But no, sometimes when horrible things struck into our lives, the effect can be a lifetime. It can affect your life forever. But there is one thing nothing can take away from you, happiness. You can be tough and strong, and live with it. I know it must be difficult to bear the news, but rememeber, no matter how bad it is there are still many good days in your future. You can choose to be strong and be happy, because you are strong okay? You don't have to control the bad news, because you have the power to control your life and that's all you need!

>> It has to be ok

- You are right, it has to be! You cannot let this bad news keep making you depressed! And I assure you that things will be okay again, no matter how tough. Think about the people you care and who loves you as well. Like your father. They are the ones that will give you the strength to overcome this bad news. When you feel powerless and helpless, they are the ones who will support you no matter what. Remember you are not alone, and you deserve help and support that you need. And things will eventually be fine again, it will. Try to talk to your family members or your friends whom you trust about what happened. They will definitely do all they can to help you. And same for us here, you can write to us here anytime when you are ready!


You dont deserve to feel so bad like right now. I wish all the good things will be back into your life again!


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Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

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Re: Not myself - May 10th 2017, 07:24 PM

Hi Emma,

I'm sorry to hear you've received bad news. It doesn't matter what that was, it is your and only your business. However, if you feel comfortable opening up and reaching out to us, don't hesitate. Or, if you'd rather some sense of anonymity or privacy, feel free to reach out to HelpLINK or LiveHelp when you need to. We're all here to support one another.

I agree with Britt in that there's always going to be bad news at one point or another. How we react to that and cope is the biggest challenge. Could you reach out to anyone also affected or a counselor for support? If so, don't be afraid to open up and get all the help needed. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. Also, as I've already said, you can reach out on the forums or by using HelpLINK and/or LiveHelp.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 11th 2017, 01:17 AM

Thank you all.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 12th 2017, 12:44 AM

Hope youre doin fine Emma.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 13th 2017, 01:45 PM

Hi Emma,
I'm so sorry for whatever bad news they gave you. I really hope that everything is going to be ok for you soon. Big hugs.
   
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Re: Not myself - May 15th 2017, 09:00 PM

Hey Emma!

I'm so glad you have come to us here for some advice and support. It sounds like you're going through so much and you certainly don't deserve to go through it alone.

There is no answer to why bad things happen. Some people believe certain reasons but I can't give you an honest answer because I don't know why and even if I did believe they happen for a reason, there is nothing to say my belief would be true. I do however know that despite the trauma's I have been through and the struggles I've had and still do face, everything that has happened in my life, is shaping me into the person I am becoming. I am so much more thankful for smaller things. I see things differently. On the dark days its hard but on the good days I really see the beauty in life. There are so many positive spins it gives even though in the moment and time, it is horrible, it's important to look for the positive that can come from it too.

I am sorry that you are going through some hard things at the moment. Nothing I can say is going to make it feel better right now, but remember it will pass. Nothing lasts forever and this will change too. I think it's important that you validate your emotions right now too. Something hard is happening and when we go through tough time's, it is okay to feel low, sad, anxious, scared etc. Its okay to feel how you feel now. What is important is how you manage these emotions.

I don't know what is going on but I just also wanted to say that if you ever want to talk about anything, we're here. Always. We'll be here to listen and support and not to judge. So never struggle alone in silence. You deserve so much more than that.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not myself - May 16th 2017, 09:31 PM

Thank you all so much for your kind words. What happened was my dog had a really big lump and this morning she had to have surgery. I was hurting so much because I was really scared of this I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. I didn't know who to talk to. I was trying to be brave and not cry and it was so hard. But she is home now and I am so glad that she will be ok. She is in pain but she's going to be ok. I can finally breathe now. Thank goodness, I don't have to feel like this anymore.
   
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