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FrozenRobot7 Offline
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Coping with it all - May 16th 2017, 03:39 AM

For the past few months I have struggled with "depressing" thoughts, but I haven't been diagnosed. But, it's getting more frequent now and I hate it. It used to be about every week or so, when I would be off, but it would be something easily fixed with some laughing with friends. But now, it's happens more and more frequently, and it's harder and harder to get out of. I also feel now that I don't want to talk to anyone when I feel like this, I just want to be alone.

I am also incredibly stressed with school and family struggles. Those are things I can't help, but they are a big reason of why I'm feeling like this. I never have any motivation to do anything anymore, and spend hours just simply looking at a wall. I also find myself more and more triggered when it comes to someone bringing up depression or suicide. I haven't attempted suicide, but it is certainly something that has crossed my mind a few times.

I hate feeling like this, and nobody ever noticed. I even go to counseling, and my counselor doesn't have a clue on how I am feeling. That is all me though, because every time I go into her office, I get super nervous for some reason and can't bring up how I am actually feeling, I just kind of show that I am perfectly fine.

How do I fix how I am feeling? And how do I open up to my counselor?
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Everglow. Offline
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Re: Coping with it all - May 16th 2017, 01:51 PM

Hi Danielle,

Do you know what? You came here and you told us how you were feeling, and that's a wonderful start. I'll tell you that there's no quick fix to feeling like this, and there's no way to give you a sure fire way to make you feel better, but coming here to ask for advice is a really important step.

The thing with counsellors is that there's a level of trust that needs to be built, and trust doesn't come naturally to everyone. There's nothing wrong with that - it's a process and your therapist will know that it isn't always easy to get to the stage where opening up is easy. Even weeks into your therapy, when you can happily tell her most things, there may still be certain things that you're reluctant to mention. It's natural and normal to be apprehensive. At the end of the day, she's a professional who you don't really know, so it's understandable. Take it at your own pace. Tell her that you're nervous about opening up to her and she may be able to start with that and help you work towards other things. You don't have to tell her everything at one go, but if you're worried, be honest with her! She will probably completely understand.

I understand how you've been feeling. It's a very familiar description and I've been there myself. It's tough to get yourself out of those bad days. Energy and motivation are low, shutting people out sounds great, but it never helps, right? It's not a nice way to feel, I understand that completely and I'm sorry you've had to go through it. I'd recommend getting into some sort of routine if you can. Try not to let it win. Set an alarm in the mornings and get up at at a good time, have breakfast. Open the curtains and let some light in. Get dressed. Do your hair the way you like it, if you wear make up, put some on. Feel good about yourself. Get some fresh air, maybe find something you can do every morning. Do you have a dog you could walk? Could you pop out and get some milk or bread for the house? Maybe just go for a short walk around the block, but get some air. Exercise and fresh air can help a lot. Have some lunch - do some work for school, and make sure to take breaks! Spend a bit of time with your family if you can, or ring a friend, even if you really don't feel like it. Being around other people might help keep your mind away from the bad thoughts that sometimes come up.

Having a routine stops the lack of productivity that these moods can bring. It might be difficult but try to keep some routine going, and once you're in the swing of it, it may start to get a bit easier.

I hope this has helped a bit. Take it slow with yourself and don't expect too much at once. Work towards it but at a pace that doesn't make it too much to handle. Your therapist will understand you're concerns, they're just a starting point that you and her can build up from.

Take care.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

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Thinking Offline
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Re: Coping with it all - May 19th 2017, 04:45 PM

Hey Danielle, I know its a while since you wrote this, but I still feel that I should write to you here!

>> For the past few months I have struggled with "depressing" thoughts

I am so sorry that you suffered from depressing thoughts too, that's really not good for you. But you know? Being able to hate the depressing thoughts means you are fighting against and you dont want it to hurt you more. This shows how a strong person you are! Don't forget that. I completely understand how it can progress more deeply and get worse. But once again, the worst part is most people dont realize that. You have a strong mind which constantly gives you this feedback, its amazing do you realize that? So let your strong mind to tell you what to do according to your plans, not your depression! You are wired to be strong, not to be always sad and thinking of the thoughts.

So what can you do to fix this? Work out a plan that can make you occupied. I know its difficult to stick to it at first but try your best. Dont wait for depression to consume you even more, change it now and work on it for the better! Not talking to people is your comfort zone, but that's a reason that makes you feel alone and depressed, so don't! I suffer from that before as well, but I know I had to try to talk to people. Well even though it ended up a complete failure, I still felt better. Why? Because I know deeply that I am trying my best to get out of the comfort zone. You can do the same, in fact much better than I did I am pretty sure

>> I am also incredibly stressed with school and family struggle

I wrote to you in PM before about your family. I sincerely hope that things will get better for you, and remember that each of your family members love you too! They don't want to see you suffer this way. I am really sorry that I can't really help much with friends issues though. Regarding school sucjects, as I know you did quite well actually, so don't doubt you abilities on that! The best way to improve is to always remind yourself that you are worthy and good enough, and will do well in the tests you are going to take! And dont forget this: You worked hard for the exams, so you are going to do well in it! You can imagine the worse to happen, but if you work hard, the worse you can go is still going to be an amazing result, and the best? You imagine that for yourself! Just remember that you can score the exams with flying colors, and all it takes, is to stop dreaming with your thoughts, and be productive! Study efficiently but not overstudy, that is to take short breaks in between your study. This can help improve your focus in the long run!

>> How do I fix how I am feeling?

The most important step is to keep reminding yourself that you need to fix the problem! Dont ever let depression took that willpower away. You are in depression and that's certainly need to be fixed, but again, you had been so tough depsite the difficult situations. You can fix this, I have faith in you. If you ever feel that you lost that will again, remember to write to us! You are winning the battle, as long as you dont give up!

Danielle, I know you had gone through a lot of things, but all of them can be better with time and effort. You might be feeling sad, but if you are strong and you take in the effort to fix things up, the result will make things spiral upwards to happiness again. Things wll always be better as long you dont give up, dont forget that!

Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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