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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Leaving the house? - May 21st 2017, 12:27 AM

I am dealing with really bad depression at the moment and it really is a problem. So I am sleeping all the time and then when I am not sleeping I am sitting on my computer. It is a really big struggle to get out of the house. As most people know I love going swimming and love talking to the workers at the pool. The thing is though it seems like it takes all of me to leave the house. Once I get in the pool I love it, but the problem is I can't seem to leave the house. I will put my bathing suit on and change my mind and take a nap instead. I will tell myself I will leave in a half hour and that turns into three and then it's too late to go. How can I make myself get out of the house?


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: Leaving the house? - May 21st 2017, 07:58 PM

Hey Essa,

Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. I know how it feels to really find it hard to leave the house and talk to people and even function, so I feel for you. Ages and ages ago (and I don't know where specifically or when), I read a really great bit of advice on this site I think. It was about motivation. It's a bit different, but I think it still sort of applies here. The only effective way to motivate yourself to do something is to do it. If you need to go somewhere, go. Swim. As difficult and draining as getting yourself to actually do it might be, the only way you can make yourself do it, is to just do it.

You could try setting a routine for yourself so that it becomes less of a 'maybe' thing. Perhaps on certain days, you can assign swimming as an activity to do, and set a time so that you know exactly when to be ready and you have time to build yourself up mentally. The same could go for other activities. If you need to go round the shop, set a day a week to do some shopping, or a day a week to pop out and get a coffee with a friend, or go for a walk. I find that when I'm really struggling to motivate myself for what ever reason, or when I've completely lost interest, having a 'to do' list keeps me on track. If you're on your computer a lot, maybe get some sticky notes and write a small daily to do list and stick it on the wall by your computer, or have a diary or something open next to you. Every time you complete a task on there, cross it off. At the end of the day, seeing that you've completeed the things you know you needed to do may help encourage you to do the same the following day. You will see and know that you have been productive successfully, and therefore, you will know you CAN do it if you choose to.

There have been millions of occassions that I've thought about changing my mind about plans and, instead, gone and had a great day. There have been other occasions where I've spent the whole day wishing I HAD changed my mind and stayed in bed. Chances are you'll get a bit of both but most people do and that's ok. Some days are naturally going to be harder than others but, others will be easier. Keeping a routine keeps you functioning which, in turn, keeps you busy enough that you might start to feel a bit better with a sense of achievement. It doesn't matter how small it is, but doing something you struggled to do is always a positive, so focus on them if you can. If you didn't want to get out of bed but you did anyway, be proud. And if you go swimming, or go out and have a chat with someone, be proud because it's an achievement and it may actually help you feel better overall.

I hope you're doing ok. Stay strong and you will get through this.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: Leaving the house? - May 24th 2017, 02:20 AM

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time, I completely get it. There were a couple of summers where I spent less than a quarter of the summer spending time with friends or doing other things I loved doing because I was going through a really bad depression episode.
I really wish things were much better for you right now, you seem like such a kind person and I hate it when people with nothing but good intentions go through hard times.
Perhaps as a first step, if someone asks you to hang out or go do something you could say maybe and try your best to get ready. Don't get disappointed if you don't end up feeling up to it! Maybe with the idea in your head that you have plans to do something could jump start your motivation (but I understand if it doesn't, I'm like the Queen of not doing things I said I would). By saying maybe instead of a flat out no, you can change your perspective on the task.
Another thing I would try is planning out small tasks, nothing huge. Plan a trip to the store even if you have no intentions of buying anything. Run to the dollar store or the convenience store; start out with a smaller crowd and a smaller store. Or plan a walk around the block on a nice day!
I know it sounds difficult right now but once you get started, you'll be so happy you're getting out again.
I hope all goes well for you and send me a PM anytime, I'm here for you!




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