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sleep_overlord Offline
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Question Finally reached the apathy I needed to ask to see a therapist. - June 7th 2017, 01:12 PM

(This is my first time making a post on this site and I'm not yet familiar with how it's supposed to work, so please bear with me if I say something strange.)

I've been struggling with what I believe is depression (I've never been diagnosed, so of course, I can't say for sure) and other issues for a few years now, and I was always too afraid to ask for help. My mother was/is abusive and I never got to see my father much, so I didn't feel like I had anyone to turn to.

I gave up on getting help nearly a year ago, but I made a commitment with the one person I trust and wanted to keep my word. However, I was too afraid of my mother's reaction (she told me to kill myself instead of bothering her last time my mental health was brought up, so it's safe to say I wasn't optimistic) until today.

I'm at that 'completely numb and apathetic' point again, so no better time than now to go ahead and do it.

I'm not quite sure whether or not this apathy is good or bad, though. I'll finally be able to ask her to see someone, but I just know that I'm going to do some reckless crap that I'm going to regret later on (that is if I don't end up dead because I walked into traffic. At this point that is plausible.) Oh well, for now I'm too numb to care. Let future me worry about it.
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Adele101 Offline
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Re: Finally reached the apathy I needed to ask to see a therapist. - June 7th 2017, 09:12 PM

Hey there,
I'm so sorry about your mum and the whole situation going on with you. Just to let you know your not alone, I've been suffering from what I'm guessing is deppression but I too have never had the courage to seek help and get clinically diagnosed, and their are probably tons more people on this site going through the same thing. If you don't feel so comfortable open in up to a therapist face to face it might be better to start off sharing your worries anonymously or online on a forum (like this one) and then youll slowly build your confidence and find it in you to go tell someone adult about it. I know its easier said than done but you need to tell someone about your mother's abuse. It has obviously affected your mental state and you need to confide in someone in order to be able to move on. And I guess the apathy your talking about could be seen as a positive because at least now you won't really care what happens when you finally tell someone or rather you wouldn't care as much. But its obviously also having some drawbacks on the way your thinking about how your mother reaction will affect you. Maybe you should ask the person you've told to help you with your mother's issues and you could have a different, fresh percpective on how to deal with it.
If you ever feel that you need to talk to someone, don't hesitate to reach out to me!
I hope this helps and that all your problems are solved.
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Re: Finally reached the apathy I needed to ask to see a therapist. - June 9th 2017, 03:03 PM

Hey There,

Welcome to TH! It sounds like you want help but that you can't receive it because your mother is abusive. Correct me if I am wrong. You also said you don't see your father often, do you see him at all? Would he listen to you and your concerns about your health? If so it might be worth calling him and asking to talk. He maybe able to get you the help that you need!

If you feel you are in immediate danger you can always go to your local hospital without your mother and they will still take you seriously. You could also explain to them how your mother doesn't take you seriously and whatever you feel comfortable telling them. If you don't think you could tell them to their face, you can always write a letter and hand it to the receptionist when you walk in.

You can do this! Life gets better. If you ever need to chat, feel free to message me.
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