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Melodyblue Offline
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I don't know - June 12th 2017, 06:10 AM

I don't know whether or not I'm depressed and I feel like getting it confirmed won't help me at all. I just feel sad and lonely a lot of the time and really really lonely even though I know I have people who love me. There is no rational reason as to why I feel so down all the time, but I kind of wish there was so I could stop feeling guilty for feeling so sad when I know other people have it so much worse than I do. I have no idea how to talk to people about how I feel so I'm kind of just bottling it all up but I wish I didn't have to. Please tell me there are other people my age who feel like this.
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del677 Offline
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Re: I don't know - June 12th 2017, 07:32 AM

Thank you for posting, and welcome to TeenHelp.

Yes there are many your age who feel the way you do, and they too have no one they feel they can talk to, so they hide it just as you do, but they are all around you.

There are efforts to create peer support groups of teens your age, as experience has shown these groups can be very effective, as the teens end up helping each other, just by listening to each other's stories, and discovering that they are not alone, that other teens have these same problems, which helps them feel that it's normal to have these problems (even if only a small number of them in a large school have these problems, it still helps tremendously on an unconscious emotional level).

Unfortunately these teen depression support groups are not everywhere. It's kind of a search to find what's available in your area.

I know in my area one high school does have a mental wellness group that meets regularly, and the other two high schools do not. However, one of the other high schools has an Al-Ateen group that meets regularly. Supposedly Al-ateen is for teens who know someone with a drinking problem, but I suspect anyone with any problem is welcome there, as one problem with keeping these kind of groups going is having enough people go to them so the group doesn't disappear. (If no one goes, the group disappears.) So I suspect everyone is welcome.

So you could look for an Al-ateen or Nar-ateen group in your area.

I'm trying to find where I thought I saw a link to where one could look for teen groups, but all I find is:


That link gives a link to another website ok2talk that might also be a lead.


yes I recognize what you describe because I've been there myself many times actually. I get depressed for no reason actually I think it's because I'm lonely. I'm not good at making friends. That's why I like support groups. There I meet other people who accept me despite my mental problems, which actually aren't very bad when I'm with other people, because I'm happy when I'm with other people, I'm only unhappy when I'm alone.

I've leaned a lot about being depressed and how to get out of it, and how to avoid going back into it. (I still sometimes get depressed anyway.) First, see my doctor to see if there's anything wrong with my body, because any medical problem can cause depression. (Like low thyroid, for example.)

there's an info pdf here:


That gives a few ideas of people you might be able to talk to, and how you might start a conversation with them.

Still, gosh, it's really hard, especially when you're only 14, that's got to be the hardest age of all to talk about these things. Probably what would make it much easier is finding someone who knows a lot about it, like someone who's been through it them-self (such as myself). There are actually quite a lot of us out there. Finding one of us though is the tricky part.

Or, you can talk here on TeenHelp. I'm not always here, but there are many here who are great at conversing.

What helps me is conversing with others.
Getting enough "social engagement" time. (Something I've never figured out how to measure.)
Finding group activities with people my age. (That can be tricky when 14. I was never good at sports. Or socializing. I preferred structured events, where I knew what I was supposed to do.)

I hope some other people here also reply, as I feel I haven't given much help. Sorry!

Oh, one more thing. It's possible that teachers in your area have actually been trained (possibly by NAMI) to detect teenage depression and be prepared with proper useful helpful response to it, so keep that in mind if you consider reaching out to a teacher you know who seems friendly. They might actually know something!

And finally, keep HOPE that there is a way out. If you ever get super depressed, like to the point you want to die, that definitely is not normal, (seriously if people actually wanted to die that would be totally against evolution and our entire species would have never survived. People are naturally inclined to want to live.) The good news is this is recognized by doctors as a treatable medical condition. I've been there, which is how I know, it can be treated with medication, and I feel much better now, and life is good again. So keep HOPE that you won't have to suffer forever, because it's not supposed to be that way, and there is a way out if you go see a doctor.

Best wishes!

(I hope other people reply to this too!)
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Re: I don't know - June 13th 2017, 02:18 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry you've been struggling with how you feel. I can promise you that there are other people, both your age and different ages, who can understand and relate to how you feel. You're not alone with that - the sad reality is depression is far too common, but that means there are a lot of options available to you.

I know you say getting it confirmed wont help at all, but it's not so much the confirmation that will benefit you, although some people do find that a name for how they feel is a great comfort as it gives justification for their feelings. Getting a diagnosis means that treatment options become more available. If it is depression, speaking to a doctor may lead to medication which might help you to feel better and recover, but it also means that talking therapy may be easier to access too, and a lot of people find that these are really helpful.

As well as this, it's really important to remind yourself that you don't need to have a logical reason for feeling as you do. The fact that you feel that way is enough, and that means you deserve help and support. Is there a friend or family member you trust who you could talk to? It's quite hard and it's natural to feel like you don't know how, but if there's someone you trust, maybe sit them down with a cup of tea and just explain to them that there's something a bit sensitive you want to talk to them about. Depending on how much they know about things like depression depends on how much you'll need to fill them in, but try to just tell them how you feel, and explain that you think you might need some help and that if there's a way they could help you'd appreciate their support. I know it's scary and difficult to do, but once it's out there you may feel more able to tackle the rest of this.

There are things that may help outside of this though. Feeling lonely is horrible but you can try and find a way to minimise that. If you have some friends who you can call when you're not feeling so good, maybe meet up for a coffee or see a film with them. Sit in a room with your family and watch some TV. Keep some background noise on. I find that sitting in silence when I already feel a bit down doesn't always help, and a bit of music or a TV show in the background can stop me from thinking too much into things. Basically, try to keep your mind occupied if you can. Go for a walk or a run and get some air, and if it helps, go with someone! Have a chat and go to the park or something, watch the dogs or look at the flowers. Find something beautiful and spend some time appreciating it. It wont fix everything but it may make a difference in the moment, and its so important to pay attention to the small and beautiful things when all of the dark horrible things seem to be getting in the way of that. Let the moment make you happy there and then. It's ok to feel good.

I hope you're doing ok. Stay strong and don't rush this. I know it feels crappy to be going through this but recovery does take time and effort. Talk to people and ask for help. You've done it here so you can do it in person too. You're strong, you've got this!

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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Re: I don't know - June 15th 2017, 09:32 AM

most people you know are as you, or, living more than some others call a mere ok. want a way out of being bored ? Go to a jui-jitsu school. Or, some thing like it. Do that and if you fail three go try something else. get one a scale and see your pounds. Walk through the entire neighbor hood and look at them all. repeat every day five or six miles. bet you never even know your neighborhood. you, honey, are your own expostulate. Say what ? sorry. this creature fails in trying so such until this creature finds a further. got a part time job and wowo find a purpose ... find a better one. try and try again. old man does back then tries. and tries again. and again. start as a stupid but working at it. ha ha ha
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