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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
myheartbait Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Tess
Age: 25
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Posts: 18
Join Date: January 10th 2009

Help me. - May 24th 2009, 08:40 AM

Please. I am so lost. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep on living. It's just too hard, and I am so tired. Everything is just sucky. School is awful. My friends are either ignoring me or have their own problems. No one wants to listen to me and I don't blame them. I don't want listen to me. I am failing all my subjects and I spend so much time procrastinating or daydreaming that I don't understand anything. I went away for a week (on a semi holiday), and it was amazing. I was happy. I haven't been happy for a very very long time. And then, the night I got back, I lay in bed and sobbed. I had a panic attack and couldn't move. I just turned 15, and it was the best birthday I've had. But it's over. I'm back at home, I'm back at school. I hate everything. I am stuck. I can't live anymore but I don't want to die. I can't die. I can't leave my mum or my family and friends. I don't want to be selfish. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about killing myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I hear myself saying things, and I don't recognise them. I look in the mirror and I wonder if it's really me. Who am I? What am I doing? Help me. What can I do?

"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath"

On the Radio ~ Regina Spektor

http://www. myspace. com/hid_the_revolution_777

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Anomaly Offline
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Re: Help me. - May 24th 2009, 12:51 PM

Hey Tess. sorry to hear your going through such a rough time.

Have you ever tried talking to somebody about the way that your feeling. Parents, friends, school consuler, an adult you trust?

School consulers are there to help you especially with school so you could go in there and start talking about your grades ande work up to the other stuff.

I know sometimes things get rally hard and you just want to give up but keep trying dont give up. There really is some good in life sometimes we just have trouble seeing it but I promise its there.

Pm me anytime.

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Trickmatic Offline
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Re: Help me. - May 25th 2009, 06:18 PM

Hey Tess,

Try to think to yourself: What was good about your birthday that you enjoyed?

Try to recall those things and incorporate them in your daily to day life. Hold onto good memories that you do have, and let the momentum keep you going through days after. Try to set yourself some positive goals as well. It can be as simple from taking a walk, or thinking of positive things in life (eg. weather or your family.)

Definitely, I think you should talk to someone. See someone like a therapist or a counselor. You shouldn't have to deal with keeping these thoughts to yourself or else they will build up and weigh you down. I'm glad though that you do see good things to live for. Friends. Family. You may be underestimating yourself because I'm sure that you can communicate your feelings to them, and you will get the support that you need. It is hard to admit these feelings at times, but it is much better to let them out than to keep them to yourself.

When it comes to panic attacks, a good tip that I got was to practice breathing through your stomach/diaphragm area rather than your chest. It helps with deep breathing, and it also makes you feel more relaxed :]

We're here to listen to you Tess. PM me if you need help with anything.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Cookie.prose17 Offline
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Re: Help me. - May 25th 2009, 07:08 PM

Just get through to the end of the school year. You are obviously burnt out, and you deserve a nice, long vacation more than anyone, right now. Go someplace nice, like you did on your birthday. You'll be proud of yourself for getting through another year at school. Take this summer to recuperate:

1) Relax
2) Get out of the house each day and just do nice things for yourself. You deserve to be spoiled every once in a while--buy yourself an ice cream cone with sprinkles, or a pair of jeans you love and can just barely afford.
3) Get the help you need. See a counselor to talk to, and to help you get a game plan so you can make your next year at school the very best--reinvent yourself. Become happy again, and walk in through the doors on your first day refreshed and renewed --You seem to have just lost your way. Find/rediscover your passions--something that makes you unique, something that makes you proud, and something that gives you a reason to keep moving. Try new things. Don't worry--you'll get there.
4) And most importantly, keep coming on to TH when you have the time (try and remain busy this summer--you'll feel like you accomplished something by the time you go back to school). We're all here for you--feel free to come on and just talk anytime We're all really nice, here.

Tip: Try making a playlist of songs that move you (I recommend Run by Snow Patrol), whenever you feel empty or discouraged. A good song always inspires me
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xoxtammixox Offline
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Re: Help me. - May 25th 2009, 07:27 PM

Tess, we're here for you. We're all here for you.

I know exactly how you feel. Like, you don't want to die, but you don't want to live... yeah. Trust me, hon, you will get through this. You will. It is going to get better.... I don't know how, but it will. I assure you.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. If you need to vent, or you need help, or if you just want to talk about a good day.(: I swear it won't bother me at all.

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
myheartbait Offline
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Name: Tess
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Re: Help me. - May 27th 2009, 02:06 AM

I see a psychiatrist every couple of weeks, but my next app isn't till Monday. Last time I saw him, I told him how I'd been feeling and he said he didn't know what to say but that "things would get better" And I know they will. It's just really hard. I don't trust my school counselor (he's kinda creepy) and I have no one else to talk to. There's still 5 weeks till holidays, and I'm getting really stressed about school. I just got this new project thing but everyone else has had another week. It's due next Tuesday and I have no time to do it. I'm having a birthday party on the weekend and instead of being happy or excited I just want to cancel it. It's too much work. I don't want to deal with people!
Gah. I can't stop whinging.
I got so suicidal last night. Like, the most suicidal I've ever been. I just can't do it anymore. I'm stuck.

"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath"

On the Radio ~ Regina Spektor

http://www. myspace. com/hid_the_revolution_777

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
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I've been here a while
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Re: Help me. - May 27th 2009, 07:57 PM

Hi Tess,

don't worry, you're not whining. And even if you were, school always merits it anyway, so it wouldn't be a big deal

I understand how school and projects and all the other lovely assignments that come along can be really stressful - I tended to beat myself up about them, too. But honestly, in the end you and your well being are worth way more than any assignment. I promise. And I don't mean to just give an "it will get better" comment, but school really can get surprisingly nicer. Sometimes it just takes a few terms for school to click.

If you're not clicking with the counselor you're seeing, it's okay to ask to see a different one. You deserve to talk with someone who you feel like you can really work with.

I understand the whole "stuck" feeling. But we're here to help scrounge up ideas to help getcha unstuck

Hang in there. And feel free to PM me anytime!

Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
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