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Chaotic_ Offline
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Name: Cass
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 119
Join Date: November 26th 2016

Falling Down Again. </3 - July 9th 2017, 05:34 PM

My depression has been back up again.
It's not usually like this like but it's been happening everyday for almost a week now.
I typically can handle a day or so, and then it going away but this is getting to be a lot for me when I don't typically feel this way anymore.
I'm not sure what changed.
The only big factor I can think of is having an anxiety attack in front of my counselor.
It made me feel vulnerable and weak.
I don't really know how this could trigger a spell of depression.

Any ideas on how to get out of this cycle?
The only thing I'm not open to is mediation. It never has helped me and it always make me extremely sick, and at the moment it's not even an option in my therapy process.

I just want to find ways to help before I do something I'll regret. Typically when I spin out of control I end up impulsively spending a lot of money, isolating from friends, have thoughts of self-harm and other things...

So far the only things I've noticed is that I'm isolating from everyone but my fiance but we live together so that's kind of hard. My work motivation is going down, I run my own business so I really need to the motivation as I don't have anyone holding my accountable but myself, and I'm not into planning my wedding. I was so excited about it and figuring out what I want to do but not I'm just kind of blah.

I know that being outside helps me typically.
But for my internship I work in an office and when I'm working on my business I can't be outside either. Plus, when I'm feeling down it's hard to even find the energy and motivation to get from my bed to the outside. Any suggestions of what to do would be great.
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Everglow. Offline
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Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
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Re: Falling Down Again. </3 - July 14th 2017, 12:04 AM

Hey Cass,

Sorry for the late reply! I hope you've been holding up ok so far. I think episodes of depression can be triggered by many things and it's possible that the anxiety attack you had is a contributing factor. Sometimes, there doesn't need to be a specific cause though, so don't worry too much about identifying the specific single thing which has caused you to feel this way. You don't need to justify your feelings to anyone as they're perfectly valid regardless! I will say though, that therapists are probably very used to situations like this. They are trained to help you get through this, and the fact you felt quite vulnerable is probably something they are used to as well. If you can, maybe speak to him/her about this experience and how you think it might have affected you. Perhaps they will have some insight to give to you.

I think the fact you're noticing signs which are worrying to you usually is really good, and awareness can be a really useful thing to prevent things getting worse. Would you feel comfortable speaking to your fiance about how you feel? Perhaps they could keep an eye out for you so that if they notice you acting off, they can step in and ask if you need to talk at all. Communication is a really good thing because it will stop people from thinking you're pushing them away for malicious reasons. This way you know they will look out for you and be patient with you too, and having someone on your side to stop you feeling alone is a good thing too!

If being outside helps you, I'd try and find some time every few days or so to get out and go for a walk. I know being stuck in an office isn't very helpful, but remember to give yourself a break and have some time for you as well. The best way to deal with a lack of motivation is to power through. If you don't feel like getting out of bed, make yourself take that small step. Get up and make a cup of tea. If you don't feel like going out, go to the shops for 5 minutes and grab some break or milk. Open a window and let the air come inside for a bit so that you don't feel so cooped up all the time.

Small steps are always good, so don't force yourself todo things that will drain you, but at the same time, try to power through and not let the negativity win. I know it's really hard, but remember you are in control of your actions, and while your feelings are less easy to master, the way you react to them can really help in your fight against them.

I hope this helps a bit. Please try and stay strong. You can definitely get through this.

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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