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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
PoeticJessie Offline
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Name: Jessie
Age: 21
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Location: North Carolina

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Falling Apart - July 23rd 2017, 01:30 AM

I work as a waitress in a Waffle House, and lately everything has gone to shit. I've been there for almost nine months, and for the majority of that, minus a few incidents here and there, it's been good. I was stalked the first few months, but that had nothing to do with the job -- the job is just how they found me. I had some issues with a district manager because of an incident that nearly got a close friend of hers (her boss, the division manager) fired. The division manager and I are fine, no issues, but she wasn't happy that I almost got her buddy fired. There's been a little resentment from co-workers, but that's just because I earned more respect from the big bosses (four and five above us) when I worked with a broken wrist, and instead of slacking off because of the wrist, I worked twice as hard to keep up using only one hand. I've just ignored them and kept on with my life.

Lately, though, things have gotten really bad. Around two months ago, I requested a transfer. I wasn't (and still am not) making enough money to make ends meet at this store, and i wanted to go where the money was. I told them I was moving, since that was the only valid reason for transfer I had. Managers told me that as soon as they replaced me, my transfer would be approved.

Once it was time to make the next schedules, my hours were changed. I used to have a set schedule. I worked 7am to 2pm Tuesday and Thursday, 7am to 9m Saturday, and 2pm to 9pm Sunday -- a schedule I had requested and loved. Now, it's completely ridiculous. I now work all three shifts every week, and it's beyond exhausting. I literally work 9pm to 7am most Mondays and Tuesdays, sometimes Wednesday, 5pm to 9pm most Thursdays or Fridays (which is ridiculous considering I live 20 miles away. I'm driving 35-45 minutes depending on traffic and stoplights for a four hour shift that often does not even make gas money. ) I work first shift as a hostess every Saturday and Sunday, which is also ridiculous for two reasons: we don't even need a door corps (hostess) most weekends, so I get sent home after four hours, and I have more experience than some of the waitresses on that shift. I have not worked a single first shift waitressing since I requested this transfer. Wednesday, I got off at 7am and had to go back for a four hour shift at 5pm. Tomorrow, I work from 7am to 2pm, and then I go back at 9pm to work until 7am. I am constantly exhausted to the point of crying most days. I cry amost everyday, sometimes over stupid shit.

In the last two months, my bipolar has gotten out of control, and the depression that was being well-managed on medication, is now back. My entire life is affected. Lately, all I do is work and sleep. I go to work, I come home and go to bed, I go back to work. At least once a week I have to stay up for at least 24 hours because of this schedule, and then I end up sleeping all day on one of my two days off. That leaves one day off to be used for errands. I'm lucky if I make minumum wage in tips, and even though they make up the difference, it's not enough for me to live off of.

It's gotten to the point where I absolutely hate going to a job I used to love, and I just don't know what to do. I've been trying to get a psychiatrist appointment for weeks now, but mental health seems to be incapable of doing so sicne my provider left. My life is in a tailspin. I can't afford to get back into therapy, so that's not even an option at this point. I'm considering trying for a new job, but sleep deprivation has decimated my thought process. I have a high IQ (genius level) but I'm barely able to work out simple solutions to daily issues most days. My memory, which was already shit because of a head injury a few years back, is basically nonexistant. I forget the smallest things, like whether I went anywere yesterday or parts of orders that are recorded in my ticket book.

I honestly feel like I'm losing my mind.
   
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del677 Offline
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Re: Falling Apart - July 25th 2017, 07:09 AM

I'm sorry you have been sleep deprived and overworked and it has thrown your disability triggered.

I don't know but possibly they decided when you said you wanted to move they decided to get rid of you by f**king your hours hoping you'd eventually quit? I can't say, just I thought of that as a possibility.

the only cure is more rest.

you may be eligible to apply for SSDI disability. Being bipolar should qualify you as disabled.

you're only 19, most can't support themselves at that age and are not expected to.

many go to school or college, even a city college. you with high IQ I would assume would like to go to college. (though I know may not be affordable right now). (college also isn't necessary if you are smart you will learn somehow and company's want to hire smart people. there I think also incentives for companies to hire people with disabilities, which you qualify. some companies like to hire young and send them to college. (Army but they wouldn't take you with disability and you wouldn't want to go.)

I'm not sure what resources are available where you are. department of employment. SSA office. NAMI. DBSA. usually once you find the community you find the people who know all what is available.

you could ask for less hours. and steady hours.

maybe call 211 and ask what resources they can point you to. maybe the county has a mental wellness program. or colleges often do.

thank you for writing. sorry I have no specific solution. just a vague notion that help exists if you can find the right people who know.
   
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