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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
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Wink I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 05:22 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm such a f**king disappointment. my parents dont want me, especially after I cost $2,500 after my last suicide attempt, on saturday. my step brother walked in and "saved me" making him a hero, and Im a useless peice of shit to them. thank guys. i want them to go away forever. I feel more empty than before.

thanks, Keagan


Hang In There!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 05:49 AM

Hey Keagan,

I feel the same way all the time, like I'm the biggest disappointment and that I'm a sorry excuse for a daughter. You're not though, you're life is worth something! No one should ever have to feel like this, especially because of family. It's heartbreaking.

Maybe you could reach out to one of them and tell them how they make you feel? If they knew they were causing you this much pain maybe they would understand it more and be able to change their ways.

Know you're not alone though, and if you ever need to talk I'm here!

Kay
   
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JustTheKeags Offline
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 05:59 AM

I've already reached out, and they said that the only reason that they didnt want me to die was because they didnt want police involved. they said Im a dissapointment. I walked out of the house with a drink, a knife (for SH), cash, my phone and e reader, and a bag of clothes, and im staying with a freind. his parents called mine and it went all to hell. they got me my pils and Im staying there for a month. they have always treated me like their second child. i am very thankful for that. My freind ran over a few muinets ago to get my guitar. its better here than home.

yay.

Keagan


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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 06:16 AM

Keagan,

That's great you have a safe place to go and people who care about you so much! I'm sorry to hear your parents are like that though, no one deserves to be treated that way! But you do have people in your life that care so much about you, so don't think about your shitty family the next time you want to harm yourself think about the people who care about you and the good things you have going for you in life! If people make you feel like you want to kill yourself there is no room for them in your life and they're not worth your trouble! I tried living like that for years and all it ever brought me was pain until I got them out of my life. It's harder though when the people hurting you are your family, especially when you're kid and can't live on your own...hopefully your friend and their parents can help you with this, it sounds like they're very nice people.

I hope you can figure out how to get all the negativity out of your life and find happiness!

Kay
   
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 06:26 AM

I have nice people around me. but SH is really hard to avoud. I tried to stop, but I just get worse and worse. Ive been drinking away my pains for an hour or two. my freind found me wandering around so he brought me to his house. I love being around him, and his mom is a therapist. she lets me talk to her for free, because I barely hve enough money to feed myself. My parents make me buy my own food and I have so many jobs that I can get min wage under the counder (ie: I mow lawns, work at our local humane society, pickup trash, and help animals at luvin' arms (google it!) for barely enough cash) I love It, but I still need to be able to buy food. I also play guitar on pearl street mall for spare change. I want it to get better but it really doesnt.

thanks,
Keagan


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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 08:00 AM

A local psychiatrist gave a talk recently and mentioned that explaining to his suicidal patients what actually happens to the family when a member commits suicide.

We think it's what they want, and they'd be better with out us.

Apparently that's not what actually happens.

(He unfortunately did not go into any details of any personal cases of what happened to the family after someone committed suicide.)

Apparently family members don't take it well at all, and can become very distraught, and it can lead to IDK, but it's definitely not the rosy sky and rainbows I thought it would be for them.

(Isn't it awful to wake up and realize you can't even succeed at suicide?)

A lot of people have attempted suicide. You're not alone. Probably could benefit from a support group of others who have suffered similarly in the past.

The bad feelings right now are from the depression. I hope they are working hard to treat your depression with whatever medications they have on hand, and that you have a safe environment to heal in. It takes a while, but it is treatable like any other medical illness. (Most people don't realize it's a medial illness, but it is.)

Thank you for sharing!

   
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 05:15 PM

Hello yeetlord,

I had a struggle like yours. Self harm, suicide, addiction. I was majorly depressed for about a year and it led me to severe self harm. I had hundreds of cuts on my legs, more than 1000 at one point. I ended up trying to commit suicide but for some reason my mom checked on me that night. After my attempt my parents took everything out of my room and they would keep me there so I wouldn't hurt myself again. This was during the school semester. I took to vodka to ease everything. I didn't self harm again, but oh boy did I drink. Like a lot. I'd go through a half gallon bottle every few days. I spent my school year in a drunk stupor. My friends eventually noticed. But they helped me. I started seeing a therapist, my friends were there for support when I would have anxiety attacks from lack of alcohol. Now as far as what led me there, don't even get me started. My family was awful. I'll spare the detail. But it gets better. Trust me.
   
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 1st 2017, 06:47 PM

Hey Keagan, Im sorry to hear about this.

I promise that it will get better, no matter how bad it is right now. Im sorry for not being there for you during this, I feel like an awful friend. Im proud of you for being able to get though this so far and you are not a disappointment. You are amazing. Stay strong hun, love ya lots.

-Wonderlust




Life's a tough b**ch, but you are tougher. Go show it who's boss. <lots of love and hugs>
   
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Re: I've reached the edge. - August 2nd 2017, 07:52 PM

If you wanna rant, I'm here. I got your back...


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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