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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Adele101 Offline
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I want to die - August 21st 2017, 02:43 PM

I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to die but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. I just wish I could make my parents proud of me for once in their life but all I can be is a failure.
   
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Re: I want to die - August 22nd 2017, 04:59 AM

Hi There-

I am sorry that you are struggling so much. First off, I want to say that you are not a coward or a failure! I can relate to how you are feeling a lot I have often felt the same way. Are you in counseling? If not, I would suggest that you reach out to your parent s and see if they can get you into counseling I know that probably seems scary just thinking about it but its an important step in the right direction.

You will always have support here on TeenHelp!

My inbox is always open if you need to talk! I hope that this helped you some!

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Re: I want to die - August 22nd 2017, 06:29 AM

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

Not killing yourself doesn't make you a coward in the slightest. It makes you a smart, brave person who understands that suicide is an enormous and irreversible decision and that urges don't need to be instantly gratified, even if the emotions that go along are uncomfortable. It sounds like you are being very mature and thoroughly investigating the pros and cons of your options. Those are great qualities to have, and they'll help you a lot in life!

One of the best things you can possibly do is making the decision to live for yourself and no one else. You seem to be struggling a lot with your parents' expectations. I want you to know that you do not exist to please other people and just because you have made mistakes or have conflict with your parents doesn't make you a failure. If it's any comfort, I'm sure your parents would be very proud if they knew that you are alive and fighting in the face of suicidal thoughts. That's a big accomplishment, and one of the most important things you will ever do.

Something that has helped me cope when I'm feeling like this is to continually tell myself that emotions are not permanent and that I don't need to make any big decisions right now. In fact, I don't have to do anything right now other than take another breath. I've heard some people say they are helped by a concept called the 3 Day Rule. It's a contract you make with yourself stating that you will wait at least 72 hours before killing yourself. If 3 days seems impossible to live through, please call a suicide hotline or get help right away. One of the main guidelines for the 3 Day Rule is that every time you feel any hope, joy, love, or any other happy feeling that reduces your desire to die, the clock starts over at 72 hours. I'm not saying that if you reach the end and still feel suicidal that you should hurt yourself. In that case, please get to a safe place and talk to someone as soon as you can.

I promise that suicidal thoughts don't last forever. Good times end, and so do bad ones. All you have to do is resolve to live for the next 10 minutes. Distract yourself by listening to music, taking a shower, or going for a walk. When those 10 minutes are up, decide to live for 10 more. 10 minutes eventually turns into an hour, which turns into a day, which turns into a week, which turns into a month. At some point, you'll realize that it's easier to smile than it's been in a long time. That's when you know you'll be okay.

You can Google a list of suicide hotlines by country if you ever need them.
United States: 1-800-273-8255, 24/7, toll-free.
   
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Re: I want to die - August 22nd 2017, 07:39 PM

Thanks for your support, I'm sorry if I came across as suicidal because I'm not, I rarely even self harm. I think its just called being passively suicidal. But your right its hard to remember I'm living for myself, its all just so stressful and overwhelming. Thanks alot again!
   
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Re: I want to die - August 23rd 2017, 01:30 AM

Hey hun! Im sorry your feeling like this. You are correct, you are passively suicidal. Do you have a therapist?
It might help for you to call a suicide hotline, or text LIFE to 612-22.
PM me!!!
Sending love




Life's a tough b**ch, but you are tougher. Go show it who's boss. <lots of love and hugs>
   
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Re: I want to die - August 23rd 2017, 09:41 PM

Thank you
   
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