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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Iver Offline
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How do you survive? - May 25th 2009, 01:39 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

How do you do it?
How do you survive when you have been broken?
How do you go on when your heart won't stop bleeding?
How do you survive when nothing else seems to exist except this emotional pain?

Better yet, how do you live?
How do you live when you feel so alone?
How do you live when you are the only one who can fix you?
How do you believe that you can get through more hurt?

I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've cried so much today I just about want to be sick with everything I've eaten, which feels like too much. I'm tired of this pain I can't control.

The only thing that keeps me going, on black days like this, is sheer determination. When it would be so much easier to die, to leave others this grief and all my memories, so that I wouldnt have to live through what I know I've got ahead of me. Determination to get through. To say, FUCK YOU, to God and Fate, because I've made it against insurmountable odds. To walk down the street smiling to myself because I can secretly feel superior to all those strangers because I'm stronger through all I've lived through.

I will make it. I might not feel like it right now, but I will. I might want to give up everything just for a chance to escape this weight, but I'll make it. I am one stubborn bugger. Screw everything that dares to suggest otherwise



Hug soundly, laugh loudly, dance wildly, and be damn well determined!
   
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wonderbread Offline
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Re: How do you survive? - May 25th 2009, 01:59 PM

I'm so happy you know that. Im happy that you are determined enough to live through the dark moments of your life even though they seem they will never pass.
I've asked many of those same questions and I didn't know how to answer them before but nowadays they are easier to answer.

I survive when my heart is broken by getting the courage to go around looking for all the pieces and ask those around me for help, just by being there standing next to me incase I fall. Just a shoulder to cry on or lean on.
I survive when it seems like nothing but the emotional pain exist because I pretend that other emotions are surrounding me and after awhile I don't have to pretend.
I live when I feel so alone because I have TeenHelp. I can come here and feel like I have a bigger family that cares than anywhere else.
How do I believe that I won't go through more hurt? I don't believe, I can sometimes hope but I know that for the rest of my life I will go through hurt. But I know how to be able to get through that hurt. Knowing it won't last forever and that I will have people there to help me heal and put hello kitty band aids on my wounds.

If want to talk to me at all or need to talk. Always feel free to PM me I don't bite.


Always remember to put your happiness first.
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Re: How do you survive? - May 25th 2009, 02:16 PM

Determination is a big thing.
Right now my reasons are basically, I simply cant leave behind my boyfriend. I was saying goodbye to him on the phone, goodbye for good and we both knew it, and he seemed so... broken.. I realized that no matter how fucked up my parents get, I can't leave him.

Before I realized this though, back when I was basically all alone was that same 'determination'
I told myself that I cant die yet, I have to much to do. I cant let myself die without feeling like somehow, someway, I've impacted the world. Not big, a small thing will do. But also, that I have to prove people wrong. I personally see myself as pathetic as people see me, but I feel that I NEED to prove them wrong. I need to grow up, and be someone. To meet those people that have ruined my life and just be like "How ya like me now bitch?!"



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



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Iver Offline
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Re: How do you survive? - May 31st 2009, 08:10 AM

Nothing-but-regrets, I'm glad to hear your have that determination to hold onto, and that you know exactly what I mean.

Exactly - "How do you like me now, bitch?" - To all of those people.

And wonderbread, thanks for the lovely reply


Hug soundly, laugh loudly, dance wildly, and be damn well determined!
   
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