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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 06:23 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I just wanted to say how welcome you've all made me feel. I thought this place might be different to everywhere else, I was starting to like this place and I was starting to think of this place as home but now that's all changed. I've been thinking today. I've been up in the loft and I've taken some rope, some pills and some alcohol. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or not, so I went onto chat to talk to someone and to get some help and advice. Well, I didn't really get what I went for. I just got some stupid, pathetic guy telling me I'm not actually going to do anything, basically calling me a liar.

If I'm that much of a liar then I won't be killing myself tonight because I've got none of the material. You know, I hope I succeed. I just wanted to talk to someone, maybe realise this isn't the way to do this but instead I just get pushed over the edge, so I'm sorry. I'm going and I'm not coming back.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 06:27 PM

Dont let one moron out of hundreds of people on TH who care about you push you over. There are a lot of people here who don't want to see you gone. Especially because some idiot is..well an idiot. -it really pisses me off that someone would do that-

You've got to much to live for okay? You cant give up. Not now, not ever.



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 06:43 PM

Hi LJ,

Im really sorry that happened to you in chat, it is usually very supportive in there. Did you report the user? I don't think your a liar and I dont think other people do either. You said yourself that the guy in chat was stupid and pathetic, try and forget what he said because you don't deserve it. Please don't harm yourself. Whatever the problem is, however you are feeling Im sure there is some way that we could help you. I care about you and Im sure there are plenty of people in your life that care too, none of us want you to die. I can appreciate that you are probably hurting a lot right now to be thinking about that but it doesn't have to be that way. You can talk to me, from your post it seems like you realise there are other ways through it, so I really hope you don't decide to take those pills or harm yourself at all. I have been through a suicide attempt myself so I do understand, if you want to talk about it Im always here and you can PM/VM me if you want.


You might also want to check out these threads, Reasons to live and who can help me when Im suicidal.

Stay strong
Jen


PM // VM
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 06:45 PM

Hon, if you came here looking for someone to talk you out of this, don't even deny it, you are not 100% sure that this is what you want to do. You want to be talked out of this. There is some part of you telling you not to do this. I don't believe that you are going to do that tonight, not because you are a liar, but because there is some part of you telling you that you do not have to do this.

It was right of you to call for help, and it was wrong for that person to push you further under the water you are drowning in. But, you know what's wronger? What's wronger is to end your own beautiful life that has some wonderful purpose just because you are going through some tough times and you want to prove some person, let's face it, you probably don't even know wrong. They are not worth giving up.

I believe you will still be alive later and that you are probably going to read this. When you do, message me please. This is not worth it, believe me. I have been exactly where you are at before. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you a liar, too. I am just trying to get you to see, you are not 100% dedicated to this and if you are not positive that you want to do something this big, why even risk it?

I'm here to help you. It won't be any trouble to me at all. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Just think about this, hon. This is big.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 07:06 PM

I am so sorry that happened to you. But don't let one person throw you off. There are a ton of people who do care and would want to help you. I hope you decide not to die, I bet many people will miss you and don't want you to leave. I know i am one of those people, i am here if you ever need to talk.

Take care of yourself
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 25th 2009, 08:00 PM

I'm sorry, for this post. I was just feeling so low and then that person just made me completely lose it...I feel like no one ever cares about me, and then I find this place and I'm made to feel welcome and I get 'settled' and then it's just gone. It's kinda funny how one person can push you over the edge. It's kinda funny how people like to see how far they can push one another...*sigh* anyway, I'm sorry for this pointless thread...
I'll just hold off my suicide for another night. I mean, why tonight? There's always tomorrow...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 01:11 PM

LJ,

Im really proud of you for staying strong and I am so glad you didn't act on your feelings. You don't need to apologise, your feelings were totally reasonable, after all that person really upset you. I know you feel like nobody cares but remember that even though that one person behaved in that way there are SO many others here who wouldnt. Look at this thread, plenty of people have replied, people care about you. I think its good that you are holding off the the suicide. You deserve this chance to try and make things better for yourself, get some help, talk to some people. What about your doctor? If your feeling suicidal and think you will act on it I would urge you to go somewhere safe such as a hospital or with a trusted family member/friend etc...

I hope you are OK


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 01:20 PM

I don't know you and i have no idea why you are feeling this way and I don't know whether this will help.
But seriously, whatever you're going through - theres always a way out.
Situations change, it may take a while but it will.
Opportunities will arise to change how your feeling and just imagine how amazing it will feel when you get out of this dark tunnel and see how much you would have achieved.
There is ALWAYS something to live for. Even if it's not clear right now, you will FIND something to live and strive for, which obviously if you take your own life you would have never known and would have missed that opportunity.
Good Luck, and i hope this post gives you some hope...
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 08:14 PM

Thanks for replying. I'm kinda beginning to feel unsafe again. The night kills me, because that's when the voices come and that's when I lose it...I don't know, I'm thinking about calling someone but I don't know who. If I wanted to go to hospital would they let me? Wouldn't they just think I was wasting their time? I mean, how would I even go about it?
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 08:35 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. You are 18 and are able to go to the hospital withough parental consent. It is the hospital's job to help you. If you go in there asking for help they are obligated to give you what you need. I hope everything works out for you. Please don't do anything stupid.


P.M me anytime you need or want to talk to me. God Bless.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 09:43 PM

I'm having a panic attack and I really can't control it. I was going to call the hospital but I just broke down and I can't move. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. If I went then they'd probably section me, right?
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 10:09 PM

oh my god are you okay can you call a friend or something to help you please stay safe
~nita
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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 10:13 PM

None of them understand. None of them know, because I refuse to tell them. The last person I told walked away. Why threaten another friendship?
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 10:17 PM

the same thing happened to me but have you tried talking to a teacher or something i kow its hard but it might work and um real talk if a friend walks out on you like that then they really arent good friends and you should dump em anyways
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 10:20 PM

My teacher knows, she had to save me one time haha. I can't really tell anyone to be honest. I'll just suffer in silence. It's the best way.
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 10:33 PM

your not the only one trust me it only gets worse if you hold it in
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 11:21 PM

LJ,

Please don't suffer in silence, it isn't the best way at all. You might be feeling like you don't deserve it and all of that right now but you do. Your idea to go to hospital was a really good one and they might not section you. They didn't section me when I attempted suicide so its not something they definitely do. You can go at any age, you don't need any permission. They just want to help. Remember I am always here too. Try to stay calm, I know panic attacks can be horrible but just try to breathe deeply. Do you have some music that calms you down or something?


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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 11:35 PM

My idea of the hospital was the most stupidest idea yet I think. As if they'd put up with me...*sigh*. I feel quite unsafe and I feel like I'm going to have another panic attack. Ughh. I have a huge migrane so music isn't such a good idea...
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 11:45 PM

LJ,

Im sorry you don't feel so good right now, I can imagine how terrible it must be. The hospital won't think of it as "putting up with you" they just want to help, I dont think of you like that and neither will they. You deserve the help and support. If you feel unsafe I think it would be a good idea to go there or to go and stay with a friend/relative. Maybe you should go to bed? I think you will probably feel a bit better and calmer in the morning and you can decide what to do then?


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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 11:56 PM

t he hospital really is there to help you
get well soon
~nita
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  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Not coming back. - May 26th 2009, 11:58 PM

Yeah...maybe I'll call them...coz I don't feel good and I'm so scared of what I'm going to do. Umm, yeah...thanks for all your help..,x
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 27th 2009, 02:52 PM

Stay strong hun! You are worth so much. Noone is like you. You have been put on this earth for a reason, and if you do it, there is no going back. No second chances, no changing your mind ... things will get better, truly they will, and you need to hang on in there until they do hun.

(((((HUGS))))) Chin up and show the world what you can do! You have so much more power in life than you ever could in death.

x
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 27th 2009, 04:26 PM

Thank you. I know there's no going back...I've just been going through a bad few days but I'm beginning to feel a bit better. The thoughts are still there but not as intense as before.
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 27th 2009, 07:18 PM

Hey LJ,

I'm glad that you're feeling at least a bit better. Don't ever hesitate to get out what you're feeling here. We all care about you

p.s. sorry that I haven't been around for a few days - computer issues...

PM me anytime!!!


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 27th 2009, 07:46 PM

Thanks, and hey..don't worry about it. My laptop plays up like there's no tomorrow, I hate technology. I hate a lotta things actually, including myself, but we'll save that story for another time I think..I've a busy weekend ahead of me. I thought maybe I should distract myself so tomorrow I'm going out with some friends, Friday there's a party I'm going to and then Saturday my parents will be home so I'll be safe again. So, if I'm not online then thats why...I haven't topped myself, hopefully...ha. I guess I shouldn't joke about it, but that's what I do. Make stupid jokes out of serious issues, try to lighten the moment...hmm. Anyway, yeah. I want to thank you all for replying, (:
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 27th 2009, 07:51 PM

Anytime And have fun!!!!!!!


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Not coming back. - May 28th 2009, 12:06 AM

Sorry I'm so late in replying. But, I'm glad to see you're staying. The whole community of TH is really saddened when we lose one of the members of our community. Whether we are across the street or world, we're all humans behind these words and we all have feelings. These feelings enable us to love and care for each poster and replier. Please consider hanging on before ever letting go. We're all here for you.

Seeing as this is resolved to a happy ending, I'm going to go and close this. If anyone thinks otherwise, PM me :] However, if something else arises and you need to make a new thread, please don't hesitate at all. We're all here anytime and enjoy doing so.

Anyone who has other encouraging advice for the OP, might want to PM her to be a help too. :]


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..

Last edited by SimplyComplex; May 28th 2009 at 12:19 AM.
   
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