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golfhotel Offline
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I don't know what to do or think - September 25th 2017, 05:59 AM

Ten months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. He never gave me concrete reasons, he never came to see me (broke up via text) and he wanted to be my friend...
All this time has passed, I've been in two rebound relationships trying to forget him, but of course, they failed. And also I failed to try to forget him.
A week ago I saw a video of a car that almost causes a huge accident, I thought it was him, so I sent him the video asking if this was him, and well, luckily, it wasn't him. After that, he started following me on IG, started sending memes to me, recommending me songs, and well, talking to me in general.
I said to myself I couldn't allow me to go through the same thing I went through ten months ago (wasn't eating enough, used exercises as a way to distract myself from the pain, and well, got in rebound relationships) and I wasn't going to think this was something special... but as the week continued to pass, that was almost impossible cause deep inside I wanted to get him back. There were two days I felt amazing like I could do absolutely anything. I was unstoppable and he was my goal. But on Friday, depression came as an old friend. I started to see everything clearly(?) I guess. Saturday was also a sad day, and Sunday was totally fine until I saw him. He talked a lot, about lots of things for an hour, then we left, and when I arrived home, I said to him that it was nice talking to him again, it felt like meeting an old friend. And he said that he was happy cause there wasn't any tension and we could be FRIENDS. Exactly the word I wasn't expecting. Also said that he understood I needed time for this friendship to work and that this is exactly what he wanted from the beginning...
Wow, I couldn't express that pain in my chest. I wished I was dead. I even thought in harming myself. But I get scared easily. I want to feel the pain. But I rather look for other options before doing something I'll regret later. I need help. I love him. And I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up but I feel that's what I should do.
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Re: I don't know what to do or think - September 28th 2017, 09:29 PM

Hey there, welcome to TeenHelp and I'm sorry you haven't gotten any replies yet. It sounds difficult to be in love with someone and have them just want to be friends. It seems like your feelings for him hasn't changed in the time since you broke up, and he still wants the same thing.

I think your mental and emotional well being is more important than this guy. That is something to consider. If you really want to, maybe you could talk to him?
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break up, sadness, self harm, suicidal thoughts

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