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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Probably not going to see 2018 - November 1st 2017, 12:16 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm going to make this post short because there are too many details to go into here but I'm going to be honest, I'm probably not going to make it to 2018. I've been researching suicide methods and my cutting has gotten so bad. I don't do it often but when I do, it's bad like until a [Edited]. I think about suicide all the time, even when I should be happy. I just feel sick with nerves all the time and I can't get a proper sleep. I'm just not happy anymore. I'm never hungry and I only eat because I have to. I cry basically every night. I don't find any joy in life anymore, I'm just so bored and I feel uncomfortable all the time and I just want to die. I just look really pale and thin and sick. I'm failing my subjects because I know I'm stupid and I just don't want to try anymore. [Edited] I'm not going to write any letters because I don't have any friends anymore. I used to but I completely destroyed any relationship with them and I've said sorry but sorry won't make it any better. I said I don't know how to make it better and I just feel so pathetic because I always cry and ask them for advice and basically just leech off of them. I'm such a burden, I told them to just leave me alone and be happy but they won't. I'm half-tempted to ask them if cutting myself will help them forgive me but then they're going to get all upset and call me and tell me how much they love me so it's a waste of time. I'm only going to feel worse and dig myself deeper instead of finding forgiveness. I just fucked everything up and I want to die so badly, it just hurts all the time. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know if this is a last-ditch effort for help or if I'm just writing this because I feel some need to leave something in writing behind before I go.

Last edited by .Brittany.; November 2nd 2017 at 04:54 AM. Reason: Please don't list methods or over descriptive words in regards to Self Harm and Suicide.
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 1st 2017, 06:55 PM

Please don't think bout how life can go wrong.... there's other people there for you.. and you need to remember... and that you're worth it. You make mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself, and remember that there's a whole world out there for you.

You're not a burden.. and remember that there's hope for you. 2018 is a year where things will get better for you.. Stay.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 2nd 2017, 05:01 AM

I am so sorry. please stay alive. I am always here for you. feel free to pm me at any time.
hang in there.

Hang In There!
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 2nd 2017, 05:07 AM

Hey, hang in there. It seems pointless and hopeless now but everything will get better. You just have to live to see it. Pm me whenever!!! <3


Life's a tough b**ch, but you are tougher. Go show it who's boss. <lots of love and hugs>
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 4th 2017, 10:27 AM

I'm probably still going to do it, I'm writing my note now. Probably going to use the methods I listed above before they got edited out...
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 4th 2017, 10:31 AM

Only I have to write to my old friends saying that it's not their fault when, well, I would've been happier if they were still with me...I don't know what I'm supposed to say now
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Re: Probably not going to see 2018 - November 5th 2017, 03:05 AM

Please call 911 or go to a psychiatric hospital. I'm sorry your feeling this way. Remember suicide is always a permanent solution to a temporary situation. What your feeling and what your going through; is only temporary. It will pass and it will get better. Life will not always be this way and you will not always feel this bad.

Look back on your life when you thought something would never end and then it did. That's proof to you that feeling depressed, sad like this is not forever and whatever situation your going through right now will not last forever either.

Your only 17, trust me life is soo much different when your in college and out in the real world. Most people you know in high school don't stay your friends when you graduate because people go to college and go different directions.

Trust me your life will get better, so please hang in there. what your feeling and going through will not last forever. Your life will be totally different once you graduate high school. Lots of people struggle to find friend s but like I said most friends in high school don't stay friends after graduation. You make friends in college or in a job. Life will get better and one-day things will be different. Focus on getting a job and trying to get into college. Focus on succeeding and improving your life for the better. Don't let bullies and mean people bring you down.

Please talk to a therapist about your suicidal thoughts ASAP. Also, talk to a trusted adult about it and also please call 911 if the suicidal urges are bad. Hang in there.
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