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Chaotic_ Offline
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I'm Never Good Enough. - November 4th 2017, 06:45 AM

Apparently I'm not important and I don't matter and I don't know why this comes at a shock to me. I don't know why after being repeatedly failed by cousnelors and mentors I gave it another shot. I don't know why I bothered. Because in one of my more vulnerable moments, the person I pay to be there for me, wasn't. He said he cared, but when I needed to talk, he wasn't there. When I needed to get in early he ignored me, not even an "I'm sorrh, I can't make it happen" (which would still hurt like hell) but not nearly as bad as being ignored.

I wasn't meant to get better.
I wasn't meant to be happy in this life.
I get moments of joy, only to be hopeless later on.
I don't know how much long I can put on this facade I'm okay. Which I told my counselor in the e-mail I sent when I asked for help.
I told him I was going to cut.
I told him I couldn't do this.
And I got nothing.

If I can't pay a person to care about me, how am I supposed to believe people who I don't pay care for me.
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Golfing girl Offline
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Re: I'm Never Good Enough. - November 8th 2017, 08:15 PM

I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. I want to tell you that you do matter and you may not see it right now because you are upset and hurting from what's going on right now. Please try to know that everyone who is born matters no matter what, and if you're parents or friends can't see it right now I am so sorry for that. You are an amazing person and say to yourself everyday that I matter, I love myself, I believe in myself until you start to believe this about you, because it's all true. Also makes an inspiration board and have it in you're room and everyday read this and say it several times a day about yourself. Okay. After doing this for a while, you will get to the point that you truly love yourself and you do matter. And I hope that others see this too in you.
Also try to do things that will help pick you up, going for a walk, funny movies or TV shows or music on to help you. I also wanted to tell you that you did a wonderful job telling you're counselor about this and asking for help.

I hope that you will be ok soon. Lots of Hugs.
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Re: I'm Never Good Enough. - November 11th 2017, 05:08 AM

Other people can be very insensitive and too blunt - they think they're helping, but they're not. I am so sorry if you are dealing with these types of people who makes you feel like this. What you can do is move away from them and proceed with your life.
I really wish from the bottom of my heart that you will get through this.

YOU ARE TOO IMPORTANT! remember that
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Re: I'm Never Good Enough. - November 13th 2017, 12:28 AM


I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Something important to remember is that just like any job out there, there are some people who are great at it and some people who are not. I agree that the counselor should have acknowledged you in some way. I know, in December 2015, I messaged my counselor about something and I never heard from her. After about two weeks of silence I made the decision to leave her services. This incident was one of many and I was, already, having issues with this therapist. I know how hurtful it can be to have to deal with this.

I hope that you are able to find a way to get to a better place. Do you think that you can look into other counselors in your area and maybe look up reviews on them. I know, reviews for counselors are hit or miss, but it might help a bit.

If you ever need to talk please feel free to message me as well.

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