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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Popo Offline
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What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 03:46 AM

First off, Happy birthday to me. Whoopdy freaking doo.

I'm not sure if I'll make it another week living like this. I've got friends. I've got a loving mother and a living father. I've got great school grades. The one thing I will never have is someone to love me. I see everyone dating someone else, loving someone else, being loved by someone else. It kills me. I'm nice to everyone.

But I'm losing it. I'm fat, ugly, and pathetic. I started to beat the shit out of myself tonight, and I don't even know why. Maybe because I wanted to get my mind off being lonely, I don't know.

I'm tired of being told "Give it time" and people expect that to make me feel better at all. I hate it. I hate myself. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of my close friends. But I'm losing a grip on life itself. I wish every night I don't wake up. I wish every time something could kill me, would. I just want to end it.

Yeah, Happy Fucking Birthday
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 04:07 AM


I like that name, Colton (sorry, random, yes)
Anyways, you will find somebody someday, don't quit because you don't have anybody because if you do then you'll never get somebody and you'll never have the chance to be loved. I know it's not fun to wait when it seems like everybody else has somebody but it happens to all of us. You WILL find somebody. Don't call yourself fat, ugly and pathetic, that's not true! You have to believe in youself.

Don't give up.
Keep hanging in there.
Things will change!
Things have to change!
If you would like to talk, PM me.

when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
ridiculousness Offline
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Re: What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 04:25 AM

You shouldn't hate yourself because you're not dating anyone! That doesn't mean anything. You have friends and family that LOVE you. Everyone feels lonely like this, but it passes, you will find someone for sure. Don't dis on yourself either! :c It's not healthy, and will make you feel even worse in the long run. Focus on the positive things in life!

Help my little eggiweggs! =D Prease?

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Re: What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 01:30 PM

Hey Colton,

Hate is a strong word. You shouldn't hate yourself because you're lonely; if anything, you should love yourself for it. Why? Because feeling lonely is so incredibly tough, misrable, vile and well, depressing. You need strength and positivity to get through it, you know what I mean? However, strength and positivity is the last thing you have when feeling lonely.

All I can say is this; Don't give up. Keep a hold of what you do have; and not what you don't. You will find someone - when? I can't tell you, but I have much faith and hope that you shall meet that perfect person one day. You have great grades in school, you have friends and have a family who cares; now all you need os someone to love and to love you back, and the great thing about that is - it will eventually come to you.

Avoid being violent towards yourself, don't hate yourself, focus on being positive and being happy in the knowing you will eventually find the someone you have always wanted.

If you wanna chat further, about anything at all - feel free to PM me, okay?
Take care.

And that was that.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
MeggieMoo1995 Offline
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Re: What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 09:42 PM

Hey Colton,
First of all, I can totally relate to what you're going through. I actually feel the same way sometimes.
I definitely agree with Anna. Don't hate yourself because you're lonely, because one day, you'll meet that person that's right for you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you will. You just need to be strong. And you're very strong and brave by waking up every morning and making it through 'til you go to bed at night. You can make it through this loneliness you're feeling.
As for 'everyone', they must be jerks. I know you're a great guy, and you are definitely worth it.
As for beating yourself up, it's not worth it. In the end, you will only end up feeling worse than before. There's other healthy alternatives to self-harming that you can find here.
And those people who tell you to give it time don't really know what it's like to feel so lonely and depressed that you don't want to give it time. Maybe they're trying to help you feel better but they don't know how.
I know there's plenty of people that love you out there and that want you to live and make it through this. So Colton, don't give up. You can do this. I believe in you.
Take care.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
ihavenoidea Offline
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Re: What's happening to me? - May 26th 2009, 10:15 PM

you really shouldnt think such bad things about yourself i know how horrible it is to hear that kind of advice but sometimes they're right have sometimes i feel as if my friends are keeping me alive too have you ever tried talking to someone anyone a friend a teacher even a pet is good
<3 nita
ps u can msg whenever you like i always respond
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