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Arion Offline
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I'm just really tired.. - December 14th 2017, 10:30 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I go to school, after school I go to work and come home between 10pm-12am. I maintain Straight A's but recently I've started to fail my 2 best classes that I will bump back up to an A, and I'm not sure how to tell them that I might be failing because I want to kill myself... I'm in a few clubs as well, which require community service like national honors society. I'm paying for my own drivers ed and dance classes, as well as other expenses so I can be happy and have a good senior year plus easier time moving out of my.... not great home. I have a lot riding on these senior year plans and I'm afraid if they fail.. I know deep down, I'll probably end up commuting the act. I've been. Also meaning to do online work for extra money and scholarships since my job doesn't give much... but when I do get to sleep it's mainly naps and I have trouble sleeping due to multiple traumas and sleep problems, I also tend to wake up to try and keep up with hygiene and clearing my skin (I have eczema head to toe) instead of just falling asleep. I've done a lot of planning and research into senior year, moving out, college and online jobs that I can do in case I lose mine since I lack transportation to mine and I could end up failing. It's also kinda weird when I'm in class and get ..flashes of threats and such from my mom...

I guess I just needed to vent, I don't really lean on others because I find it unreliable due to my mom... so instead I'm stepping up but she still has to sign the papers which gives a big hassle... I'm really tired and stressed.... and even though I'm getting closer to the chance of happiness, the urge to die just keeps growing.. It's almost like it physically hurts or irritates sometimes... buy I am trying... i just know that if this attempt at happy fails as the others did... my mind might fail too...
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Chaotic_ Offline
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Re: I'm just really tired.. - December 16th 2017, 04:45 PM

Hi There,

Sounds like you're going through a lot right now!
I think all of the positive planning you are doing is amazing, keep that up if you can! But also don't forget to take time for self-care and things you like to do.

Have you ever tried chatting with your school counselor? You don't have to talk about the "wanting to die" feelings, but you could chat about the stress and depression. Everything is confidential unless you talk about wanting to hurt yourself.

I know you said you don't like to talk to others because of how your mother treated you. I understand that, but there are a lot of good people in the world and I'm sure some would love to be there for you.

If you ever want to chat, let me know! I'm here for you. <3
   
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Re: I'm just really tired.. - December 17th 2017, 06:07 PM

Hello Arion.

I get the feeling that the main reason you're depressed is because you're seeing it as " It's either this road.. or its nothing at all. " But the fact is..its not like that. There's so many things out there for you life,and depending on what you do as a hobby or during your free time, there's many paths that can open up for you( like maybe cooking, or perhaps something that doesn't involve your grades at all) .Frankly I also think that its important that you think about moving out of your house. Staying with her is also going to put more emotional stress on you, and knowing that you're already thinking of... bad things, it only makes it more important that you seek some solace in a spot where she can't bother you.

I also suggest that you spend more time on self-care because it'll have more beneficial effects on you.. and perhaps also help you to sleep more.A lack of sleeping time can cause many ill effects such as health issues and unhappiness.

Don't hesitate to rant to us because you deserve happiness.

Much kindness and warmth,
Darren


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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