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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Why go on? - December 21st 2017, 12:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Iím in love with one of my closest friends, and today i found out that she doesnít reciprocate those feeling AT ALL. I mean, sheís kissing other guys, and she said she really doesnít care if we never end up dating. THIS IS THE GIRL THAT I WOULD MARRY! I donít know what to do, why should I go on living. She was the only reason why I was before. I have cut myself before, but that was only when I found out that she had tried to commit suicide. I donít know what to effing do. I donít want to go on living, itís Christmas, and all I want to do is die, just let me go, let me disappear, itís not like she will notice, right? Iím so effing messed up. My friends have told me to tell them how I feel, and not hold it in, but I donít want to throw all this on them, theyíre teenagers too, they have their own sh*t that theyíre going through, Telling them would just be selfish. I want to cut I want to die I want to burn in hell, hell would hurt less. I just wish she would care about me as much as I care about her.

Should I call suicide hotline, should I just kill myself, should I try to get into a hospital? I honestly donít care what happens. The only reason I try at all, is just because of whatever future I might have if I donít kill myself, but Iím pretty sure I will by 2020.

What should I do. I love her, she doesnít love me. Can I just kill myself, then I wouldnít be such a burden on anyone anymore. Do you guys have any suggestions, Iím at the point where Iíll do anything.


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Re: Why go on? - December 21st 2017, 06:17 PM

Hi TJ,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, it's always hard to feel this way about someone and have them not feel the same way about you. I've been through this so many times, I can't even count. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. You're still very young, you have your whole life ahead of you. I thought I found the man I wanted to marry when I was in high school, maybe because I didn't know what true love was.

I'm currently 27, and I still don't know who I want to marry. All in all, I don't think you should kill yourself because of this, as I mentioned, you have a lot of time left ahead of you, you would never find out if you find the one you want to marry. You'll never have a family, graduate, get married. You will miss out on so much. This is coming from someone who has attempted several times and have self harmed most of her life.

I have faith that you will get through this, you need to keep your head up. I recommend having the suicide line on speed dial, keep some distractions near you (music, a pen and notebook, a good movie or book). Try talking to a counsellor or therapist.

You are so strong, you can get through this, we are all here for you.

Stay Strong,
Brittany



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Re: Why go on? - December 21st 2017, 09:29 PM

Hello,

I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now. If you can try talking with you're school counselor or a teacher, and you can let them know that you are going through a hard time right now and you need to talk with someone and they will always talk with you and try to help you through whatever you are going through.
When you like someone and they don't feel the same it's a not great feeling and I'm sorry that happened to you. Try to find something that will help pick you up, going for a walk or putting on funny movies to help you. I hope you will be ok soon.
   
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