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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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TH Anonymous Offline
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Giving Up Again - January 23rd 2018, 02:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

[SIZE="a"]2016 was a really rough year for me. I was incredibly depressed and suicidal. In my head, telling my parents how I felt was supposed to fix everything. I thought that as soon as I let out all the thoughts that had crowded in my head for so long, I could finally have the weight off my back. But my parents dismissed the way that I was feeling. After a whole year of wondering if it was worth it to see another sunrise, I decided that I would go into 2017 full of positivity. That positivity didn't last long though. Rather, I just felt numb. The whole year, I felt like I was underwater. Some days, it was clear that I was drowning and I would struggle to breath, but other days I would just let my self sink. Now that we're in 2018 -- and I'm going through a lot of changes in my life (going to college, etc.) -- I feel the burdens of my own emotions settling on me again. I find myself giving up on myself and my life even more. I feel so disconnected from myself that sometimes I even forget that I'm in my own body. One thing that I've realized this year, though, is that I really need help. It's gotten to the point where I hate myself so much. I don't want to hate myself anymore. I don't want to underestimate myself anymore. I just want to be content and comfortable in my own skin.

I originally came on this website to rant about a situation that I'm currently in where I feel as though I'm undervalued and overlooked, but I realized that my feelings towards the situation are so much more than that.[/size]
   
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Giving Up Again - January 23rd 2018, 09:11 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that your parents dismissed how you felt. A lot of the time, this happens because of a lack of understanding. Parents may think that young people can't get depression, and that it's just a phase of sadness. Parents may also feel concerned but not know how to help, and instead may dismiss concerns of depression and suicidality in the hopes that things will get better naturally. Either way, it doesn't minimise how your parents responded or how you feel about everything.

It's also unfortunate that you wanted to go into 2017 full of positivity only to find that you felt numb for the year. That must've been really hard on you, and now, when you are going through other changes in your life, it can feel overwhelming.

While it would be nice to 'fix' everything. it's best to treat your mental health the same way you would as your physical health- with compassion and patience. It's good that you realise you need help with how you feel. The first step on the journey to recovery is simply being able to recognise that you need help. The next step would be reaching out for that help. It's great that you reached out to us here, and I'm wondering if you have thought about professional help- counselling? Maybe you could see if your college offers counselling for students? If not, maybe you can talk with your doctor about how you have been feeling and see what help they can offer you.

Even though your parents dismissed your concerns, not everyone will. There are people out there who will listen and support you. You definitely deserve help and you don't need to suffer alone. We are here for you too


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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Giving Up Again - January 25th 2018, 03:22 PM

Hello.

You're important,and your feelings are not to be taken lightly. But you could take a chance and gamble on the fact that things will change (going to college, and all that ) and that perhaps you could steer yourself in the right direction in general. I know that you can't control life, but you can probably sorta control the direction it's going . Perhaps it would be time for you to join some activities in college that might end up rebuilding your self-esteem and sense of self. You said that you weren't comfortable in your own skin.. which means that part of you hates who you are.

Perhaps its time you hated that hate of yours.. replace it with love. That's literally half the battle. We're always here if you wanna rant and talk about things.. we're always around.

Much kindness and warmth,
Darren


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rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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