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Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
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Name: Svetlana Volkova
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Exclamation Alone - February 16th 2018, 04:35 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I lost two long time friends tonight....thereís no chance of getting them back before anyone tries to get my hopes up. So please donít. Itís on me, my fault, and it sucks. I never realized how truly alone I am...and how much I want to
die. Never understood how much I truly belong...if any guy wants to just chat I mean, go right ahead. Maybe itíd help with this. I just hate myself. I want to kill my self. I wish I was dead because Iím just hollow. Iím fake, and Iím not a good friend. I want to be happy, and just...forget my hollow self. Iím just a shallow person.

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Adele101 Offline
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Re: Alone - February 16th 2018, 06:53 PM

Look, I don't know what you've done, and I'm not going to try to get your hopes up of getting your friends back. But we all have our lows, we all do crappy stuff and regret them later, because we're human. You sound like your really wearing yourself down because of that. You need to remember were all human, and we all make mistakes, what differs us from eachother is how we deal with it.
If you really did something wrong, then apologise, and move on. Don't dwell on the negative although I know very well that's near impossible most of the time.
Also, your not alone. I know, everyone says that here, but your not. Myself, and most of the people on this site, as well as other people just browsing feel the exact same way youre feeling now. Although you can't see all of us, we do exist. And you do have friends.
I know it's hard, wanting to die sounds so good sometimes, but if you die you'll miss out on so many other amazing stuff. When I feel the way your feeling now, I find it helpful to think of all the stuff awaiting me in the future. All the things I'm looking forward to. All the things I want to do, and it makes me think life isn't so horrible after all because there are so many possibilities.
Also, I don't know if your religious or not, but I learnt this thing where you say "thank you God" 30 or so times and I really found it useful. Like think of 30 things your thankful thou, when your feeling down. It may help you feel better.
If you ever want to talk, reach out to me
Stay safe

Keep calm and carry on.
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Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
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Name: Svetlana Volkova
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Location: Krasnodar, Russia

Posts: 200
Join Date: May 16th 2016

Re: Alone - February 16th 2018, 08:33 PM

It’s just that I hurt him so bad, and I know he’ll move in with someone actually worthy of him. It kills me...that I’ll be replaced and he won’t even acknowledge me anymore. I wish I could go back. He’s my life. I don’t want to live without him...but I hurt him and I fucked up so badly.

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