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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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TraitorBaby Offline
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I'm gonna fail - March 1st 2018, 06:14 PM

I can't fucking do anything right I just got kicked out of another class because I can't bring myself to do anything and I'm so mad but even angrier at myself. I can't find a good reason to get up and do anything and the only way to move forward is to get through school I can't even do that and I'm always alone I only have myself to push me forward and myself to blame. I'm going to fail...
   
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Re: I'm gonna fail - March 1st 2018, 11:54 PM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Thanks for writing here.

First of all, don't be so hard on yourself. You may feel like you can't do anything right at the moment, but trust me, you can. Making mistakes does not make you a bad or a useless person - it makes you human. Make a list of all the things that you have done right/well. You can start small if you need to. Anything you've accomplished and feel proud of, note it down and read it back when you're feeling low and add to it as often as possible.

In sounds to me like you're having a hard time getting motivated right now? Have you talked to your tutors about the problems you're having? Perhaps they could help you and even if they don't know how to combat the issue, you may just feel a little better knowing that they understand how you're feeling.

You say you feel alone at the moment also. I'm sorry to hear that. It's a feeling I know all too well, but if you'd like to message me to talk at all then please feel free to drop me a message any time.

You say you are going to fail as though that has already been decided. It hasn't yet. It's not too late to turn things around, it never is. Make talking to your tutors about it a priority and I'm sure they can find a way to help you get back on track. Is there any possibility of re-taking the classes you've been removed from later on if they are important to you? Try your best to remain positive. Every day is another chance to do better, and if you keep fighting I'm confident that you will do better than you're expecting.

I'm also a little concerned about what it is that's making you feel so demotivated right now. Are there other issues you're experiencing right now that may be impacting your motivation? Please do post again if there's anything else you'd like help with. I'm sure someone here will have some good advice for you.

Stay strong and good luck!

Honey
   
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Re: I'm gonna fail - March 2nd 2018, 01:17 AM

Hi, I'm sorry that you are having a hard time right now, I hope you will be okay soon. You said that it is hard to go to school and get motivated. When you get up and you are having a hard time, can you try putting on some music or take a shower to help pick you up. Also pick out some things in you're room or house that you really like, a pair of shoes or hat or scarf or a hoodie or blanket or anything else that you really like and put that on or around you for about 5 to 10 minutes and think about why you have this. And also think about the color or colors that they may be until it picks you up some. Also try calling a friend or going for a walk and put on a funny movie to also help you. I hope you will be okay soon. Hugs.
   
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Re: I'm gonna fail - March 2nd 2018, 01:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeybadger40 View Post

I'm also a little concerned about what it is that's making you feel so demotivated right now. Are there other issues you're experiencing right now that may be impacting your motivation? Please do post again if there's anything else you'd like help with. I'm sure someone here will have some good advice for you.

Stay strong and good luck!

Honey

My parents are shoving pills down my throat for my depression and when I asked my psych to cut it down they only added more. I don't know what's real and what's the drugs, what's real joy or just suppressed emotion. I do movies, videogames, YouTube, comics, anything to distract myself from the fact that my life is shit so that I can get through the day but every now and then the walls around this facade start to crumble and I'm left with no reason to get up in the morning. I honestly can't find a reason to do anything, let alone bring myself to do it. If I tell my teachers, they'll tell my parents and I'll be in hell again with them trying to suppress my depression, which they themselves are the cause of in the first place.
I'm homeschooled by the way, all of my courses are online, meanwhile the very few friends I have are in high school and barely have the time to talk to me. I only have my dog and even he is a little shit sometimes.
What do I doo
   
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Re: I'm gonna fail - March 3rd 2018, 11:08 AM

Hi again,

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I think the first step here is for you to talk to your psychiatrist again and explain how you're feeling. If you're really not finding the medication you're currently on helpful, then perhaps you could negotiate lowering the dose you're on or trying some different types of anti depressant medication? Have you also explored the option of talking therapies to help you with your depression? Sometimes a combination of both medication and talking therapies can be more successful than just one treatment in isolation.

I'm also wondering if taking some time out of education might be beneficial to you if it's possible? It seems you're having a very difficult time and I'm wondering if you perhaps need time to just concentrate on resting and healing? It's hard to concentrate fully on work and school when you're dealing with lots of difficult issues and feelings. Would that be something you could consider?

*hugs*
Honey
   
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