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I'm a fucking spaz
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Literally no use or reason - June 10th 2018, 11:02 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Itís been several weeks now. Four to be exact.

Self harm urges are worse probably than ever before. Lost my fiancť. Canít wake up without a head ache, and my body feels heavy and I just canít move. No motivation to do anything at all. No one to coach me up or lift me up. Barely passed the final semester with less than appealing scores due to recent hospitalization on 5150. Canít do anything right. Parents are always mad. Sibling is gone all the time. Friends are all graduated and donít answer texts. Not good at scouts, not good at school, canít do anything good enough.

I have literally no use. There is literally no point in me or to me to continue anything.

Why continue high school? Itís pointless, even if I pass it wonít be good enough. Why continue college? It doesnít matter anymore. My goals? I donít have any anymore.

I just lay in bed with my headache and migraines and body ache and heaviness until I cry. Cry about nothing and everything. Because I have too good of a life to complain, but no one hears or sees the bad. Iím too well off to whine, so I just wonít say anything anymore.

Starving and dying kids in Iraq would kill for my life. Why the fuck canít it just be enough?

Why canít I be enough?

I give up. I donít know why Iím posting this.
Some last stitch effort I guess.

"Those who aim to avoid their fate, often meet it on the road to escape."
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Re: Literally no use or reason - June 11th 2018, 01:07 AM

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and I hope that you will be okay soon. If you can, can you want to try and finish high school because if you do don't have a high school diploma or a GED some places will not hire you. And after you have graduated high school and it's a really good feeling that you have passed that and you can be proud of yourself for doing that because you we're able to do that. I know that school can be hard to pass, can you try talking with someone about what you are having a hard time with and see if they are able to help you out with this. A teacher that you are really close with or the school counselor and letting them know that you need help and they can set you up with a tutor and help you out with the work or the teacher can stay after school and help you with the work and homework.
Can you try to find something in you're room that you really like and put it on and see if that helps pick you up some. A favorite tee shirt or a hoodie or a hat or a blanket or anything else that you like and put it on you for a little bit and think about how it feels why you like it and think about that for a little bit. Can you try calling someone to help you out with what you are going through, a friend or talk with a family member or a helpline and ask for help with this. Or put on funny movies or read or going for a walk to help you out some. I hope you will be okay soon. Hugs.

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Re: Literally no use or reason - June 12th 2018, 09:04 PM


It does sound like you are going through a rough time. When you are depressed, it is easy to see the bad in a lot of things and lose motivation in basically everything. Maybe you can find something that used to make you happy and focus on that in order to get you motivated again. Here is what I suggest:

I. First off: Try finding something that makes you happy or you really enjoy doing. You need to take all the weight off your shoulders and focus on yourself for a while. What I used to do was take mental health days when I needed them.

II. Find people you share common interests with, that share the same hobbies and try making new friends.

III. Take it step by step and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

IV. Take everything your parents say with a grain of salt. Remember they are your parents and they care and love you. They want you to be successful. Even if they are mad at you, they act that way because they care.

V. If you really feel helpless and just can't get back up on your feet, try telling your parents how you feel about your life and that you want help. I know that trusting your parents is not easy but in the worst situations they can really help.

I hope I was able to help a bit and wish you much luck
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literally, reason

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