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killing-myself Offline
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Exclamation self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 05:04 AM

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i dont know how it explain it but i just hate myself. i dont even know how it happened but it did. i even get to the point where i dont care weather i live or die. you know. i just need some advice


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 05:30 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down right now I understand the "not knowing how it happened" thing - there've been times where it seemed like I was doing fine and then seemingly nothing would happen and my emotions or self-confidence or whatever would just sort of plummet and I'd be left wondering "how'd that happen?"

But hey, even in those moments, it's important to remember that you do matter. That people do care about you and do care what happens to you (like us!) even if you don't at that particular time.

For me, it was helpful to write a sort of "self-declaration," reminding me of the things that I still want to do that matter to me, and the things that remind me that I matter. Helps with motivation and reminds me that I do have a voice that's worth hearing. Maybe something like that might be helpful?

And by the way, I really like your signature; definitely something to think about


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 05:35 AM

well i thank you for the advice.
but for me i dont really get down or sad or anything like that. i just get to the point where i dont really care about myself. and i just have a hatred for myself. idk how to say it. i know i wont do anything to myself cuz it would be stupid and for some stupid reason people like me. lol the funny thing is i got a group hug by some nice girls i work with.

and my signature is from the intro to the heavy and light show sponsered by To Write Love On Her Arms


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 05:47 AM

Hmm... well, if other people like you, then there must be something to like

Any chance you could try to think of unique traits, or even just one thing that you happen to really like about yourself? Caring about even just that one thing can grow eventually into caring more about you yourself.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 05:53 AM

odd thing is i dont like myself and i cant find anything likable about me. and there is only one thing i care about and that is other people other then me.
its just how i was made i guess.


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 06:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by killing-myself View Post
there is only one thing i care about and that is other people other then me.
"I care about other people." or, phrased differently, "I am a caring person."

There ya go. Reason number one to like yourself

And by the way, that's a really awesome reason, too, because a lot of people unfortunately don't care about others as much as they perhaps should.

So basically, good job/way to go/yay-for-you


Drown in the music,
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 06:09 AM

lol but i dont like myself to say that about myself. i cant do it. my mind wont let me.


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 06:24 AM

Hmm... well, we'll just have to figure out something.

What if you found something about yourself (whether or not it's my number reason for you ) to say and say it not with the view of doing so because it's something "likeable" but because it's at least something true?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 06:31 AM

well anything could be true. but i can say something but my mind will not regester it as good or bad. it will just pass through one ear and out the other. i know ive tried,


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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dancer Offline
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 06:54 AM

Maybe working on distinguishing all the good highlights about yourself, as something good, could help maybe?

Like, you could try writing a list of things like "I like that I care about people," "I like that I am a good coworker," stuff like that - where you're saying stuff that you like about you, without necessarily worrying about whether or not you're trying to actually like yourself. Then, once you've got that list down, you can change the phrasing a bit to retrain yourself to think in terms of liking yourself in the context of what you liked about yourself, like "I like myself as a caring person," or "I like myself as a good coworker," or maybe try an intermediate step with phrasing stuff like "I care about the fact that I care about other people," or I care that I try to be a good worker."

Just some ideas


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: self-lothing/self-hatred. - May 28th 2009, 07:54 AM

Hey,
Im sorry you feel that way about yourself! *hug*
But, I've noticed that when I keep telling myself that I hate me, and there is nothing to like about myself, it really comes true, honest!
So, even though I don't think it's true, I keep affirming the likable things (at least the likable things that other people like - i know that doesn;t make sense, please bear with me) about myself, so that, somewhere inside I slowly start to feel good about myself, how much ever i've been resisting!
I hope I helped you a little bit! and hope you feel better!
Pm me anytime you need to
Hugs


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

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"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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