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Madelinesusyy7 Offline
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Please help me - August 2nd 2018, 05:50 AM

I'm totally depressed thinking about my break up....I loved him like anything in this world.
   
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samsteven Offline
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Re: Please help me - August 2nd 2018, 06:45 AM

Hi dear, Iíve regretted many things in my life, but Iíve never grieved for the loss of love. Iíve never been in a serious relationship before, but my brother has. It was really difficult for him to cope but there were certain things which he did which helped him overcome it. Like, he read a lot of books, invested his precious time in doing healthy things like exercising, yoga etc. Also, we both went on an international tour which helped him relieve his stress level. You should stop thinking about your break now and then and enjoy your life. Being POSITIVE all the time and doing good deeds by spending time with your family might help as well. You can visit sites like Everyday health and mayo clinic to find some alternate ways.
   
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Re: Please help me - August 3rd 2018, 02:05 AM

Breakups are always really hard. I'm sorry you're experiencing such depression in the aftermath of the breakup. When you love a person as deeply as you say you loved you partner detachment is always sticky and it can be difficult to find a place of peace again. However, it is possible. It's going to hurt for a while, most assuredly, but it's not going to hurt forever.

I've found that the most helpful way to get past a breakup is to distract yourself. It can be tempting to ruminate over the relationship, but doing that is only going to serve to make you more miserable. What happened is in the past. There's absolutely nothing that can be done about it now. All that you have control over is how you feel, and you have the power to change how you feel. The best way to do that is by doing other things/activities that take your focus or else create opposite emotions within you, i.e. happiness. Make sure it's something that really grabs your attention, not something you can zone out through. Watch a funny movie or read a book (one that isn't depressing). Pick up a new hobby you've been putting off trying. Join a social group. Volunteer. Doing something with other people is good because isolation only further exacerbates the feelings of depression. Devote your time and energy to a cause that's important to you. Make a difference.

Another important thing is to stop ruminating. Stop following him on social media. Stop gazing over old photographs and reading old messages and emails. This only perpetuates the cycle of depression. If you want to do all the way opposite action, delete them, but it's understandable if you can't bring yourself to do that. When you find yourself tempted to ruminate, put the photos/messages/social media accounts away and go do something else. Call/text a friend or go outside for a brief walk. Anything to get you away from the triggering material.

Good luck. You've got this. PM me if you need anything else or want to talk.



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